Garter toss: tacky or traditional?

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

futureladyharvey:  The garter toss is both traditional and tacky IMO. We’re choosing not to do that or the bouquet toss. It’s up to you whether you do or not, though I like the idea of just having a personal one that  your FH will see when he takes your gown off at the end of the night 🙂

Post # 3
Member
1377 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I agree with PP. I’ve yet to be at a wedding that doesn’t do both garter and bouquet tosses, but I’ve always felt so very awkward at either – for bouquet, being near forced to go up there, and for garter, watching someone crawl up someone’s skirt (and here, the bride sits on the best man’s knee. Can it get any more awkward?). We will not be doing either. 

I think it would be cute to have a garter just for your FH when the gown comes off! Garters themselves aren’t scandalous IMO, just the awkward capture and toss – and some garters are very pretty. 

Post # 4
Member
2084 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

futureladyharvey:  Meh…we were definately not interested in garter toss or bouquet toss. My Mom was horrified when I first told her we were skipping all that but in the end she came around. We are in our 30s and honestly it seemed tacky and a little juvenile to us. To each his own, though. 

Post # 6
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June, 2014

futureladyharvey:  we did our garter removal pretty tastefully. I didn’t wear it all day, slid it on just before the reception and put it very low on my leg (right below the knee) just high enough that it wouldn’t fall off. My husband was above my skirt at all times! It doesn’t have to be trashy if you don’t want it to be. I’ve never been a fan of the men who go dress diving and pull them off with their teeth. That, to me, is tacky and awkward for all those watching. 

That being said, it’s a personal decision and I think the idea of having a surprise garter for your wedding night is pretty cute. 🙂 good luck in your decision!

Post # 7
Member
7395 posts
Busy Beekeeper

ren89:  I agree that it is a personal decision but I don’t think tacky is the right word to use. For me it is the fact that why would you husband of less than 8 hrs have the right to fling a part of what is essentially the brides underwear to a hoard of eager single men. 

Given that so many women on this site are outraged by strippers (who are at least confining their actions to an appropriate place), I am always suprised that so many are OK with this tradition.

Post # 8
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June, 2014

j_jaye:  I can take or leave it, honestly. My husband wanted to do it and I valued his opinion and wishes during our wedding and reception planning. I figured it’s not like it actually was a part of my underwear, I wore it for maybe 20 minutes total, and our guests may have seen some of my ankle. (Scandalous, I know!) I guess I didn’t read that much into it. Of course I have no issue with the bouquet toss either, even though it’s antiquated and silly. Just personal preference. 

For the record, I don’t have an issue with stripping either. As long as the dancer is doing it of her own free will and it’s taking place in the appropriate space. To each their own. 

Post # 9
Member
1201 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: A very pretty church.

The thought of it creeps me out, luckily I have never seen this done at a wedding, only on those old fashioned blooper TV shows (where it didn’t got so well, clearly).

Post # 10
Member
28 posts
Newbee

It’s a bit of fun, I don’t dedicate much thought to it.

Post # 11
Member
6859 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Not one of my friends did the garter toss. IMO it’s become a cliche that was never in particularly good taste.  It’s not about showing some leg or being scandalized,  either. The symbolism of it is just anti feminist, IMO.  I didn’t do a bouquet toss either, though I’ve seen some brides change the meaning to “good luck” and include everyone. 

Post # 12
Member
4827 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

futureladyharvey:  I haven’t seen a garter toss at a wedding in a long time… I did not do it our wedding and was very glad I didnt. I think it’s tacky, I’d rather be chatting with guests then sitting in the middle of the dance floor getting embarrassed. My circle of friends and I are a little older (29+) so maybe that’s why too.

Post # 13
Member
1107 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

futureladyharvey:  Tacky, traditional and fun! I think we will probably end up doing the garter/boquet toss at ours. Our friends are hams and I think they’ll get a kick from it!

Post # 14
Member
602 posts
Busy bee

I think it’s tacky and offensive to the women who are typically forced to participate. For one, the removal of the garter is mostly just gross, especially when the husband takes it off with his teeth (stop doing this, it’s nasty!). The husband does not need his head in the wifes crotch while surrounded by everyone they know. Save that for behind closed doors. The actual bouquet/garter toss just highlights the relationship status of the single people in attendance. When I was younger, I totally embraced the bouquet toss but if I was still single now at 28, you couldn’t even force me to participate.

Post # 15
Member
1441 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I haven’t been at a wedding with a bouquet toss or a garter toss since I was a kid in the 80s.  Will not be doing either at my wedding.

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