Post # 1
So my fiance and i discussed the whole garter toss thing.. we dont really like the idea at all. It just seems really trashy to us, I dont like the idea of him going up my dress infront of our whole family!! Is there something else we can do instead? Or are we just crazy lol? I want to do the bouquette toss so im not sure how we can do something with the guys because it doesnt seem right to do the bouquette toss and not the garter toss..
Post # 3
I wouldn’t say it’s trashy, but we’re choosing not to do it either. We’re just attaching small gift cards to the bouquet and a toss garter (it will never be around my leg, lol, we’re just going to have it sitting aside). We’re also opening it up to all the ladies, and then all the men because there are only like, two women in attendance who haven’t gotten married yet.
Post # 4
I think it all depends on how it’s done on whether or not it’s trashy. Maybe if you put the garter and little lower on your leg or something. I’ve seen it get pretty trashy, and I’ve also seen it done very tastefully. But I don’t think you HAVE to have a garter toss. It’s all about what you guys are ok with.
Post # 5
I think it CAN be trashy… but more so because of how people have made it.
My FI and are I pretty strong in our faith but we’re still doing it… & even with family and all of our friends/pastors from church.
We think we can make it more fun than anything else & well… god did say go forth and multiply… and it was good… oh and we’re even using the song “you can keep your hat on” lol
I would ultimately do whatever you are comfortable with… especially since it seems like your FI is supportive and agrees.
It’s ya’lls day and so play be ya’lls rules =)
Post # 6
we’re not doing the garter toss either…i just don’t like it. we might have a garter lying around to toss, but it will never go on my leg! our guests don’t need to see him climb up my dress. we will do a bouquet toss whether or not we do the garter.
Post # 7
Ha I think it’s as trashy as the couple makes it. I’ve seen some where the bride simply gathered her dress to above her knee and the groom kneeled down and slid it off. Cute, easy, simple. THen I’ve seen some where the groom put his entire head under the dress and slid it off with his teeth while she has her dress lifted up and they’re making a big scene about it! Sorry, save it for the bedroom lol. Not something I would want to do in front of our family!
If you wanted to do it, you could just gather up your dress carefully above your knee so nothing is showing and have the garter placed right about your knee, not halfway up your thigh, so it’s still conservative. Then, he just slides it down your leg and done. Also, talk about how you want to exactly do it before the big day.
We plan on doing it because it’s tradition and I bought him a college themed one, so I’m really excited. However, I really don’t want him sticking his head up my dress lol so I plan on just pulling my dress up above my knees so nothing is showing.
Post # 8
I don’t think it is trashy in and of itself (although some people MAKE it trashy). That said – you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.
Post # 9
I am also not a fan of the garter toss…nor the throwing of the bouquet. I know the bouquet throwing can be sweet, but I’ve just been to too many weddings were most of the girls encouraged to get up there were not happy about it and basically dreading it…
Post # 10
We did it for the heck of it. But I’m not a fan of the “only single people” so we invited everyone out during both tosses, and attached a lottery ticket to each 🙂
Post # 11
You need to have an “other” option. We chose not to do either because we didn’t want to subject our single friends to it and there weren’t very many single people there! Plus I loved my flowers too much to toss them!
Post # 12
I have been given crap about this from my bridesmaids as well. I think it is ABSOLUTELY trashy. Who wants to see my husband run his hands up my leg and pull off one of my undergarments? Extremely tacky and not appropriate at all for a formal event. I saw one couple where the girl didn’t even pull up her dress: her new husband crawled up under her skirt–literally disappeared under there–and then came back out with the garter. It was SO AWKWARD.
Obviously we’re not doing it. My bridesmaids keep saying YOU HAVE TO DO IT IT’S TRADITION. And they keep using the lame excuse that FI and I will have sex on our wedding night and everyone knows it–well, whether or not we do is one matter, but we won’t be doing it in front of all of our friends and family, which include our grandmothers, young children, and my professors!
I think it is DEFINITELY ok to do the bouquet toss and not the garter toss. It’s what we’re doing. You could also do something fun and throw a lottery ticket, a tie, or a bag of candy to the guys instead of doing the garter. I’m sure most men would appreciate that far more than getting a sweaty piece of underwear that’s been wrapped around the bride’s leg as she sweats and dances the night away–gross.
Never give in to something just because “it’s tradition!”
Post # 13
Hm, I’ve always been awkward with the whole garter toss. But we may have it in my wedding, it just depends on how comfortable my fiance is with it. He is the one that would have a big opinion about the garter. I won’t say it’s trashy, but it can be. We’re most likely doing the bouquet toss. But I hate standing up at the single girl for that too. So we’ll see 🙂
Post # 14
If you don’t like it, don’t do it! Maybe do something else for the guys or have a garter that he doesn’t take off you infront of everybody. Like, a stunt garter, just waiting on the side.
Post # 15
I think it absolutely can be trashy but its the couple and their level of comfort that deem that. I personally think its incredibly inappropriate for the groom to stick his head up the dress of his bride and pull the garter down with his teeth. This should not be done infront of great aunt Sue who may have a heart attack. Save that for the wedding night.
I’ve seen the tradition done many times and it wasn’t trashy but I still won’t be doing it. I just don’t like either tradition (bouquet or garter toss).
Post # 16
I don’t see what the big deal is about the groom reaching under the dress to pull off a garter. It can be tasteful and playful. Ou wedding was semi-formal, I have a conservative Turkish family, yet we still did it and it was fun. I’ve never seen it done in a trashy way at any wedding I’ve been to, maybe if the people doing it are trashy then it comes across that way. Still, if you’re not comfortable or just don’t want to, perfecty fine to skip it. We didn’t have very many single ladies so we skipped the bouquet toss.