Post # 1
Okay, so I am having a dilemma. I’m questioning whether or not to do the garter/bouquet toss. I was recently at a wedding, and they opted not to do it, and I never even missed it! I didn’t realize they didn’t do it until WEEKS later! The weddings I’ve been to in the past year or so who HAVE done it, it’s been really awkward! NONE of the girls wanted to catch the bouquet, so they all obligatorily shuffled out to the dance floor, and watched the bouquet as it sailed through the air, only to land on the floor. And I think that having your Groom crawl up your skirt in front of your closest family and friends is just strange! I also have a fiance who loves the spotlight and will do anything for attention, so I worry that he will get a little carried away with it, and that would not only piss me off, but embarass me to no end.
So what do you think? Who has pulled off this tradition tastefully and full of fun? Any advice on taking a new spin on this tradition? What is your advice based on experience? Thanks!
Post # 3
Also…if I opt NOT to do it, do you think I will look back and miss it? Or will I enjoy those extra minutes on the dance floor??
Post # 4
I was kind of neutral on the whole tossing situation as well. We did it because I had a few friends who were DYING to catch the bouquet to send their boyfriends a pretty big hint, and it was ok… could have lived without it though.
Post # 5
i’m in the same boat. i don’t want him up my skirt in front of a bunch of people because he’s such a ham and i think i’ll be annoyed and i just don’t really have that many female friends that are all that interested in catching the bouquet, plus i don’t want to have to make a second throwing bouquet anyway.
i’m interested to find out what people suggest, instead of the tosses
Post # 6
@smitten_and_giddy: haha I second everything you said! I was just reading about people tying gift cards for spa services or cash to the bouquet/garter to get people enthusiastic about it, but again, that doesn’t deter from him having to lift up my skirt. I don’t know…… :-/
Post # 7
I think you should only incorporate those elements that you really want, and if the tosses aren’t one of them, don’t bother!
I’m biased, but I think that you will absolutely not miss it or regret it if you don’t do it. When you see women reminiscing about their favorite parts of their wedding days, you will hear things like “our vows,” “walking down the aisle,” “first dance,” “dancing with my friends,” etc. I’ve never heard anyone talk about the bouquet toss like that!
I have personally never enjoyed the tosses at any wedding I’ve ever been to. I wouldn’t describe it as “tacky” because lots of people love it, but it does single out (see what I did there?) those who aren’t married in a way that not everyone appreciates.
Post # 8
It seems clear to me from what you wrote that you don’t even want to do it, so why not just skip it? From what you’re saying it sounds like the only reason you’d want to do it (or think you’ll miss it when looking back on the day) is because you feel that it’s “supposed” to be done, and that’s a bad reason to do anything. Don’t do it if it doesn’t mean anything to you, or if you think it’ll be uncomfortable!
Post # 9
@Kant: Or, what you said.
Post # 10
If a garter toss and bouquet toss are important to someone, I would never begrudge them the experience. The weddings I’ve been to, they seem to always occur just when people are getting into dancing and having a good time, creating a lull. I’m skipping them and going to either preserve my bouquet or quietly present it to an elderly relative.
Post # 11
I’m sorta on the fence about this, and I think I will probably decide based on the number of single…
Strangely enough, most of my FH and I’s friends are already living together, married or probably not getting the +1 for a date unless their in a solid relationship where we know the other (married, engaged, or dating several years and we both know them as a couple friends.)
That said – I don’t think right now there are going to be a lot of single men or women at our wedding. If that’s the case – I don’t plan on doing a toss.
Post # 12
We had agreed from the start to skip the garter b/c we both think it’s awkward. I didn’t want to do the bouquet toss either, but my mom insisted it was a cute tradition and the toss bouquet was free from our florist so I said I would do it. Then, we were having so much fun at the wedding that we totally forgot to do it! oops! I really don’t think anyone noticed or missed it.
Post # 13
We didn’t do either one because we didn’t want to for reasons similar to those some of you have mentioned. I don’t regret the fact we skipped them; we had a blast and no one missed them.
I don’t think the traditions are archaic or tacky, though; I certainly wouldn’t judge anyone who included them at their reception.
Post # 14
I am not doing a garter toss cos’ the history of it makes NO sense in modern applications in my situation, it actually is kind of creepy to me. So I nixxed it. =)
Tossing the wedding garter is an old time held tradition. It is said that in the days gone past, the bride and groom had to show proof of their wedding consummation. In order for it to be proven, it was common tradition to have people like family and friends come into the room with the couple. The “witnesses” would obtain the garter as “proof” of the consummation. Also having any article of the under garments was considered to be good luck so sometimes things would get out of hand in the newly wed’s bedroom as crazed onlookers snatched at clothing to get for good luck. This was not appreciated much by the bride nor many grooms, hence the groom started tossing the garter out so that no one would need to obtain it themselves.
Post # 15
@murmur: Bahaha that is weird!
Post # 16
I would do what is best for your group of friends and family. Some friends and family really look forward to it, while others, like our friends, are older and for the most part married. I had a total of 2 single friends at our wedding.
You could always ask around to your guests and get a general feeling.