Post # 1
I get soo excited but also a little frustrated at my own lack of progression with my SO when I see the changed status to “engaged” on facebook, and its happened more this month since graduation. Does anyone else feel that way? I feel like a lunatic.
So I’m all in my pity party because I caved in because SO wants babies, which are not my thing. Its been decided that when I’m 28 we’ll start to try for them. I’m almost 26. While I’m okay with people who get married then have babies right away that’s not for me but I caved after seeing how sad he was. I forsee this being an issue down the road.
My big problem is that he says we’ll probebly get engaged in a YEAR AND A HALF. Not married, ENGAGED. So I snapped, I’ve come to the realization that I may never be married to this man and that F— it, I will force myself not to care anymore because its too much stress and honestly is not helping my unemployed, suffering from rejection of the real world, sadness.
To make it official for myself I gave all my wedding related books to my neighbor, who is 5 years younger then me, not been in her relationship 1/2 as long as me but happily planning her wedding because her SO is proposing any day now. Don’t get me wrong, that sounded like I’m jealous, kinda am but I really adore her, she’s such a good confident and a great friend. I really can’t wait to go shopping with her because she deserves all the happiness in the world. I will just suck it up and stick a smile on my face.
So, here’s to my last Bee post (and hopefully stalking of all this wedding stuff) for the foreseeable future. Thanks for being supportive ladies, best of wishes for you all!
Post # 3
im not sure if youre coming back to read any replies… but it sounds like your SO needs a bit of a reality check! You might sit down with him and really talk about aa JOINT plan, not just his plan of when to propose and when to have babies. You wont even be married before having kids if his timeline is the plan! I think men dont always see the big picture either. They see engagement and babies separate, they dont think about the fact tht it takes time to plan a wedding, get pregnant, etc and he is planning two major life events on top of one another. Id sit down with him and talk that all out. Good luck and best wishes though!
Post # 4
I agree that you two need to have a serious discussion about your life plans and set a REALISTIC timeline. You deserve to be with someone who is on the same page as you, and wants the same things from life that you do. That may or may not be your current SO.
Also, please don’t have kids if you don’t want to. If your SO wants them, then he should be with someone who geniunely wants kids. If yo don’t want them, you should be with someone who doesn’t want kids. There are many happily married Bees that are Childfree By Choice. There is nothing wrong with wanting or not wanting kids, but it is so important to be on the same page regarding this. If you have kids that you don’t really want, you could end up resenting your SO, or worse, resenting your children. If the two of you don’t have kids, and he wants them badly, (which it sounds like he does), he will likely end up resenting you. Resentment has no place in a marriage.
Wishing you the best of luck, and hoping things work out for the best, regardless of what that may be!