(Closed) Gave away wedding books

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
5663 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

im not sure if youre coming back to read any replies… but it sounds like your SO needs a bit of a reality check! You might sit down with him and really talk about aa JOINT plan, not just his plan of when to propose and when to have babies. You wont even be married before having kids if his timeline is the plan!  I think men dont always see the big picture either. They see engagement and babies separate, they dont think about the fact tht it takes time to plan a wedding, get pregnant, etc and he is planning two  major life events on top of one another. Id sit down with  him and talk that all out. Good luck and best wishes though!

Post # 4
2607 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I agree that you two need to have a serious discussion about your life plans and set a REALISTIC timeline.  You deserve to be with someone who is on the same page as you, and wants the same things from life that you do.  That may or may not be your current SO.

Also, please don’t have kids if you don’t want to.  If your SO wants them, then he should be with someone who geniunely wants kids.  If yo don’t want them, you should be with someone who doesn’t want kids.  There are many happily married Bees that are Childfree By Choice.  There is nothing wrong with wanting or not wanting kids, but it is so important to be on the same page regarding this.  If you have kids that you don’t really want, you could end up resenting your SO, or worse, resenting your children.  If the two of you don’t have kids, and he wants them badly, (which it sounds like he does), he will likely end up resenting you.  Resentment has no place in a marriage.

Wishing you the best of luck, and hoping things work out for the best, regardless of what that may be!


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