Post # 1
My Fiance proposed to me two weeks with a beautiful ruby ring that I absolutely adore. We designed it together and it has special meaning- both of us and both of our fathers have it as their birthstone, red is my favorite color and the reasons I love it go on and on…
I know it kind of comes with the territory, (so maybe this is just a vent session), but when I tell people we got engaged and show them the ring, they look kind of confused. I’ve gotten “Oh. You didn’t want a diamond?” and “But that’s not a diamond ring.”
When I ran into some of our mutual friends that I hadn’t told yet, I was like “Oh my gosh, I have to show you this!” and showed them my ring, which is on my RING finger. They said “What is it? Is that a ruby? It’s pretty.” I wanted to shake them and say “You a$$holes, I’m engaged!”
I’m very secure and happy with my ring and am elated to be marrying my Fiance, I’m just getting annoyed with people who seem to believe that only a diamond = engagement. I’m not a diamond hater at all- I love them too…I don’t discriminate! I’m just annoyed with the anti-climatic glances at my ring.
Post # 3
Aw, I’m sorry. If someone said they needed to show me something, then held out their left hand with a ring on it, I would presume they were engaged- colored gemstone or not! So silly of people to think a diamond is the only thing that means engaged.
Post # 4
It’s really too bad that our culture and society has brainwashed people to believe so strongly that a diamond is the only choice for an engagement ring. I just sneaked a peak at your Ruby and it is lovely and gorgeous. And it is so special that there is so much meaning in it for you and your fiance. Truly special. Diamonds are beautiful but colored gemstones are also beautiful. I don’t think they should be shunned as engagement ring options! It’s good you are secure in your choice for a Ruby. I’m sorry others are not as openminded as you. Don’t let it get you down 🙂
Post # 5
That’s too bad that people are reacting that way. I, too, chose not to have a diamond in favor of a beautiful, unique ring with very special significance to both of us. It’s made out of intricately worked gold and doesn’t have a gem at all, so it’s even more confusing! People notice it because it’s different and often ask me leading questions about it – and are very positive when I tell them it’s my engagement ring – but they rarely flat-out assume that I’m engaged. I usually assume that they’re just being polite. After all, you don’t want to say someone’s engaged when they’re not! Maybe in the last case you talked about, your friends’ admiration of your ring was a way to lead into a conversation about it without jumping to conclusions.
In any case, enjoy your ring, your fiancé and being engaged! By the way, what are you planning to do once you have your wedding ring? I can’t put my engagement one on the same finger as the wedding band and am trying to figure out what to plan for.
Post # 6
@ sommertime couldn’t have said it better myself. I agree.
When I hear something like this, I just cop it down to people are stupid. Most people are like sheep, follow the norm, don’t ask questions and don’t know why they want the things they want. I am a diamond lover (partly because it’s my birthstone), but completely understand why someone would want something else as their engagement ring or wedding band. Don’t let it bother you, they are just ignorant.
Post # 7
Just felt good to vent…ya know? It’s was just kind of weird how close-minded people are when you consider one of the most beautiful, dignified and well known women in the world (Kate Middleton) wears a colored gem ring, as did Princess Diana.
Someone actually came out with this gem, too (no pun intended!) “I bet Fiance saved some money getting you a ruby instead of a diamond.” I know people in general mean well, and none of this is stuff that I would actually get upset over, but really? REALLY?
Maybe I need to find a new social circle or something. 😉
Post # 8
omg Kate/Princess Di’s ring is absolutely stunning. i’d totally throw in the ‘well it was good enough for Princess Diana….’ comment if they say anything negative!
Post # 9
I knew ahead of time that my ring was going to be a gemstone and I was dreading showing people it for this very reason. My ring is a peridot, so a bright, limey green center stone. And I LOVE this ring (I picked it out afterall) but I am also annoyed at everyone’s expectations. I’ve been engaged for a few months now so everyone’s shock and horror has worn off now that everyone has seen it. But I totally and completely understand your feelings. Here, I’ve attached a picture so you can see all the horror that is my e-ring, lol
Post # 10
@butterfli_beauty: The horror of you having an absolutely gorgeous and special engagement ring!
Post # 11
I’m sorry you’ve been dealing with that! I have a gemstone as well (sapphire) and luckily, have heard generally positive things from everyone (although, I do get the, “well, that’s different!” comments thrown in there too). I’m always clear to everyone that asks that this is EXACTLY what I wanted!
Post # 12
I get that sometimes, and I do have a diamond center stone. It’s got two sapphires on the sides of the diamond, and when I showed it to my friends, I was less than pleased with the responses. The funny part is, people older than me love it. It’s the people my age, that probably have only really seen e-rings on TV, that are like, “Oh…are those sapphires? But that’s not your birthstone…Why’d you pick those? It’s nice…I’m glad you like it, I mean you picked it, right?” But I love it, and that’s all that matters.
Post # 13
- Wedding: September 2012 - Mother of the Bride's residence
I think it’s crazy that people point that stuff out! I have an amethyst engagement ring and nobody has said anything to me… but I’ve seen some strange looks, for sure. i don’t really understand why people care, frankly, and I didn’t want a diamond.
Keep your head up! I bet your ring is gorgeous!
@butterfli_beauty: I love your ring! I really wanted something green for mine. 🙂
Post # 14
Some people just can’t handle anything but the standard! There are many ladies on here with lovely gemstone e-rings, you’ll learn to love the confused look people get when you inform them that you didn’t actually want a diamond *gasp*! haha.
Post # 15
I believe in Greece the women wear a pearl as an engagement ring. Just think, if the monopoly that owns the diamond mines in Africa is ever broken up, your ruby is more rare so it will be worth MORE! And thats tough for me to say as my ring is a diamond….I’m sorry for the people around you, but I absolutely LOVE the meaning behind your beautiful ring 🙂
Post # 16
@rubybride718: If someone said that to me I would correct them and tell them that actually a top-color natural ruby costs far more than a diamond of the same size. Rubies are rare, incredible stones. Forget the haters!
If it makes you feel any better, I have probably the most traditional engagement ring possible (round diamond of about a carat in a white gold solitaire setting) and when people look at it they don’t know what to say about it, I think because it’s so basic. (Which is actually what I love about it, so it’s fine.) So whether you have something traditional or nontraditional you will always get some weird comments. You just have to roll with it and love your ring but I do understand your frustration.