Post # 1
I could spam this whole website with wedding woes, mostly related to my Future Mother-In-Law but I’ll try to limit my issues for now into this…
It feels like the only ones who are actually excited about my wedding are my coworkers who regularily ask for updates and seem genuinely happy for me.
My mom is great and is very supportive but is approaching my wedding like it’s just some task that needs to be done.
My sister (and MOH) who lives out of country, is only showing up a week before the wedding and spending 5 of those days travelling. She only asks about the wedding when she’s trying to figure out how to work her plans around it.
My Future Mother-In-Law only talks about the wedding when she’s complaining. She also made it clear in the early engagement months that she didn’t approve of it. She said she wouldn’t pay for the wedding because she thinks we’re too young to get married. She thinks we’re too young because we can’t afford it, so giving us money would only prove her point and she doesn’t want to support that. Bottomline: She won’t help us pay for anything because she thinks we actually need the help!
My Future Father-In-Law asked if he even had to come. He lives 2 hours away and said it was a long way to drive.
My dad isn’t involved in any aspects of my life so it’s no surprise that he just wants to know the date so he can show up.
And now it’s at a point where my Fiance and I aren’t especially looking forwards to sinking thousands of dollars into this one day that it seems like no one else cares about! I feel like we’re inconviencing everyone by asking them attend. So this leaves me thinking that I have to do EVERYTHING myself. But it’s kinda hard to be making sure the venue is set up, and the park is set up and the cupcakes are delivered etc all while getting ready and participating in the ceremony.
Has anyone else had experiences like this?
Post # 3
I have to some extent. My mother was actually mad at me when I got engaged. She’s never approved of my relationship with FH because he’s not the type of person that she would marry. But, I’m marrying him, not her. My grandmother thinks I’m too young to get married but essentially has said nothing, no negativity, but no congratulations either. Since getting engaged the only people who seem interested are people on the Bee and one of my friends. My Future In-Laws are great too. Future Sister-In-Law also tries to be helpful but she lives out of state so it’s hard to talk to her.
It can be hard. You’re going through what should be the happiest time of your life and instead no one seems to even care. I understand completely feeling like inviting people to a wedding would just put them out and having to do everything alone.
I can tell you that the bee is a great place full of women who are here to be excited with you and for you. They give great advice. Being on here has actually made me feel better about my wedding.
I’m sorry I can’t give you any advice, but just know that there are others who vcan relate.
Post # 4
“And now it’s at a point where my Fiance and I aren’t especially looking forwards to sinking thousands of dollars into this one day that it seems like no one else cares about!”
I think this sounds like a great reason to elope and just spoil yourselves with a lovely romantic vacation/elopement! You won’t have to worry about anyone else’s enthusiasm level but your own (which removes the expectation that they should be excited), wasting money on a party for people who aren’t really into it, doing everything that you and Fiance want to do on your weddingmoon and every cent you spend will be for you.
As you can tell, I’m a pro-elopement kind of gal (not in the secretive way but in the private way).
But yes, I understand. My own mother was the one who said – in response to my 3 day Jackson Hole wedding event, “What else is there going to be besides a wedding? That’s a heck of a long way to go for just a wedding. You don’t expect me to fly in and fly out 2-3 days later, do you?” My own mother. Then she got all snippy because I didn’t want to host family (my mom, my sister her 4 children and her boyfriend) in my home before and after my wedding. Fock her.
Now, voila! Expectations are removed! We don’t have to worry about anyone.
Post # 5
@sienna76: At this point we’ve already sunk quite a lot of money and time into the preparations so eloping isn’t the best option. Also, I’m sure on the day of everyone will come together and have a great time. I think my expectations of the lead up were just too high for my emotionally reserved family. I love that you are taking back your wedding and turning it into something that is best for you!
@SouthernGirl: I get the impression that my Future Mother-In-Law isn’t so keen on me. And when I voiced these concerns to numerous others I was met with a very real agreement. But, I’m beginning my own family and she’s not going to stand in my way 😉 Thanks for your feedback!
Post # 6
Sometimes our unmet expectations lead to dissappointment. Sounds like you can change them a bit and I’m sure it will all come together on your special day.
Post # 7
@Cat.herine: Yes! My whole family disapproved and FI’s family didn’t want us to spend a ton of money (they were happy for us, they just aren’t big wedding people) and I kept feeling sick at the thought of spending so much money on people that didn’t even support us. We decided to elope with just my mom and my best friend (b/c I couldn’t get married without them!) Our original wedding was going to be $5000-$6000 for just the one day, not counting rings or honeymoon and this one will be more like $3000 but that includes a week stay in the mountains in a huge cabin and our rings and everything.