(Closed) Generous, well-meaning relatives – my aunt decided she wants to bring favors

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1571 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think if you told your aunt you already had favors she would understand.

Post # 4
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I feel ya! We’ve only been engaged for a week and FIs grandmother has already told me she’s making my garter and my mother wants to make our invitations. Please let me know your solution if you come up with one, haha. It’s hard, they’re all being so nice, just over-stepping boundaries. 

Our plan is to come up with projects for people ASAP (especially our mothers) so that they don’t start taking over other aspects. 

Most of our families live far away from us. It makes sense to me that that’s a reason they’re making plans. They want to be able to do something since they can’t be here to talk to us about it all the time. I think you’re right about that one.

If only our families and friends weren’t so gd helpful! 🙂 

Post # 5
Member
7240 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@lazy:  You have an easy out with your aunt because your parents already took over favors. Unfortunately, you’re going to have to become very good at saying “Oh, thank you, that is such a generous offer. However, I have already purchased… have my heart set on… have always pictured…… But thank you so so much for wanting to help! You have no idea how much it means to me that you’re so supportive.”

Post # 6
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’d let her know you already have favors…. but you need ….help with something else, maybe ask her to get those made for just you and your FI for the toast? 

 

Besides after your wedding people will either leave the glasses behind or toss them later.  It would be nice for you and FI to have tho. 

Post # 7
Member
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It’s suuuper nice that everyone is trying to help, but you guys need to come up with what YOU want and start telling people. Just because they want to provide you with something doesn’t mean you have to do it, especially if you don’t like it! It’s so weird to me that they would assume you’re just going to do what they want for YOUR wedding.. put your foot down, girl! Set some boundaries and guidelines! In the meantime, tell your aunt that you already have favors, and that perhaps she can do something for the bridal shower or rehearsal dinner. 

Post # 8
Member
1755 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Could you maybe tell the Aunt who wants to do the favor glasses, that you’ve already got favors, but then tell her you think it would be fun for the rehearsal dinner?  That way you weren’t completely refusing her but you were negating the issue some?

Post # 10
Member
2437 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@lazy:  you could always set them out on a table, guests could take them when they leave, uf th wanted to incorporate it :).

Post # 11
Member
4687 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

You’re not a spoiled brat. You just need to speak up maybe. And it depends on how much you care about your wedding aesthetic. If you want it to have a cohesive look or a theme then say no to these peeps. They want to help but c’mon. It’s YOUR wedding.

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