Post # 1
My aunt decided that she liked the favors at the last wedding she went to, so she wants to do the same at mine. Stemless wine glasses, printed with LOVE and our names and the date. She just emailed me her plan.
Very nice of her. But, it’s not my favorite idea. I feel awkard and that I should just be thankful, but I just can’t picture this at my wedding. What would you do?
I think being on the opposite coast from my family and planning from a distance breeds some of this – they’re excited and thinking and without me there to talk with they go off and have lots of great ideas they are just ready to implement.
We’re actually already having honey jar favors, because my parents swooped in and said that’s what they wanted to do! FI and I thought about it for a while and decided that we liked it enough and didn’t have favors already, and gave my parents the OK. They were surprised because they thought they had TOLD us, not asked US!
I’ve got another aunt offering her veil, in a style completely opposite of what I had envisioned, and FIs cousin insisting on bringing her home made cakepops (that FI is not so keen on). And another family friend florist (which is great!) thinking that my flower colors are all open because according to my mom, I have no wedding colors! The list goes on… Boy, do I sound like a spoiled ungrateful brat! I’m not sure how to handle many of these “takeover” situations where people are clearly being generous but…not so sure how to incorporate everyone else’s ideas into our plan?
Post # 3
I think if you told your aunt you already had favors she would understand.
Post # 4
I feel ya! We’ve only been engaged for a week and FIs grandmother has already told me she’s making my garter and my mother wants to make our invitations. Please let me know your solution if you come up with one, haha. It’s hard, they’re all being so nice, just over-stepping boundaries.
Our plan is to come up with projects for people ASAP (especially our mothers) so that they don’t start taking over other aspects.
Most of our families live far away from us. It makes sense to me that that’s a reason they’re making plans. They want to be able to do something since they can’t be here to talk to us about it all the time. I think you’re right about that one.
If only our families and friends weren’t so gd helpful! 🙂
Post # 5
@lazy: You have an easy out with your aunt because your parents already took over favors. Unfortunately, you’re going to have to become very good at saying “Oh, thank you, that is such a generous offer. However, I have already purchased… have my heart set on… have always pictured…… But thank you so so much for wanting to help! You have no idea how much it means to me that you’re so supportive.”
Post # 6
I’d let her know you already have favors…. but you need ….help with something else, maybe ask her to get those made for just you and your FI for the toast?
Besides after your wedding people will either leave the glasses behind or toss them later. It would be nice for you and FI to have tho.
Post # 7
It’s suuuper nice that everyone is trying to help, but you guys need to come up with what YOU want and start telling people. Just because they want to provide you with something doesn’t mean you have to do it, especially if you don’t like it! It’s so weird to me that they would assume you’re just going to do what they want for YOUR wedding.. put your foot down, girl! Set some boundaries and guidelines! In the meantime, tell your aunt that you already have favors, and that perhaps she can do something for the bridal shower or rehearsal dinner.
Post # 8
Could you maybe tell the Aunt who wants to do the favor glasses, that you’ve already got favors, but then tell her you think it would be fun for the rehearsal dinner? That way you weren’t completely refusing her but you were negating the issue some?
Post # 10
@lazy: you could always set them out on a table, guests could take them when they leave, uf th wanted to incorporate it :).
Post # 11
- Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY
You’re not a spoiled brat. You just need to speak up maybe. And it depends on how much you care about your wedding aesthetic. If you want it to have a cohesive look or a theme then say no to these peeps. They want to help but c’mon. It’s YOUR wedding.