Weddingbee boards

A couple of months before I went off BCP I went in for my annual exam and mentioned to my doctor that we would be starting TTC soon.  She asked me a lot of medical history questions and then recommended that I get blood drawn for a series of tests.  Some of these tests were to test for genetic markers - cystic fibrosis, etc. - and others were to test my health to be sure that I was up on my vaccines and did not have any thyroid issues or anything like that.  All of this was covered under my insurance.

I would recommend doing this before TTC (as long as your insurance covers it) because you never know what might come up.  A good friend of mine and her husband found out when she was 8 weeks along with their second child that she and her husband were both carriers for a very severe type of cystic fibrosis.  They had to make some really difficult decisions about testing, possible termination, and longterm care while she was pregnant.  The whole thing was scary and really stressful.  They had an ammino and everything was totally fine, but it was a horrific couple of months.  She always says that she wishes they had known the risks before TTC - they still would have had kids, but they would have been able to have those difficult "what if" conversations when it was just the two of them and when they had more time to make the decisions.

I mis-voted.  I thought you were asking when you should get it done, I'd get it done before TTC.  My Fiance doesn't want me to get it done and won't participate.  Whatevs, I probably won't be doing it then b/c it's kind of useless with only one person's data and we don't have any familial signs of genetic defects and we'd still have kids regardless.  But if it's important to you, I'd do it sooner rather than later.

@beekiss:  That is not entirely accurate - there are MANY disorders that need two carriers for you to have any risk.  Cystic Fibrosis is one of these - if you get tested and do not have the marker, there is no chance your child will.  Your husband would only get tested if you test positive for the marker. 

We found out about a year before we got married that DH has thalassemia beta.  That's one of those genetic diseases that doesn't cause many problems if you only get the gene from one parent, but if both parents have the gene then you're in big trouble.  Given that we knew we wanted kids down the line, and that I'm from an ethnic group that also has fairly high rates of thalassemia, I was tested.  Luckily I don't have it.  I was glad to have that information for piece of mind.  The rest of the genetic tests, like the one for cystic fibrosis we didn't do until after I was pregnant, but those were cases where we had no reason to believe in advance that we were at risk. 

@septcabride:  It would be useless for me to get tested since even if I were a carrier for a disease, he still would not get tested.  So in my case, it would be useless since I would need his information to know if it would be at all possible to have a child with a disease.  He's made it quite clear to me that he's not interested in knowing.

EDIT: The only way it would be useful is to know if there is a possibility, which even if I'm not tested would mean there's a possibility and there's a possibility of many other non-genetic diseases.  I am very much supportive of others getting tested if they feel compelled but this is a really sore subject for my Fiance.  He will not and does not want me to pursue it and I'm willing to chance it.  Like I said, only one person's information isn't enough to make a decision to not have children. 

I have been thinking A LOT about this thread since it was posted.  When I first posted, I just gave my experience and did not really think about why my husband and I made the decision we did and why other couples would make a different decision.  Because I am thinking about that now, I wanted to expand a little bit on this topic. 

I view getting pre-TTC genetic testing to be somewhat akin to getting genetic testing for the fetus when you are pregnant, which runs the gamut from basic ultrasounds to anatomy scans to CVS to amnios.  I belong to a midwifery practice and many of their patients choose not to have any testing - even ultrasounds.  This decision is completely respected (as it should be).  I think the amount of testing you choose to have - before and during pregnancy - should be a decision made in hand-in-hand with the decision you make about what you would do if there was a problem.  Many couples feel that they would have a child regardless of complications; those couples are obviously going to make a very different decision about testing than those couples that would consider terminating under certain circumstances. 

What type of testing to get and when you stop is an amazingly personal decision and one that only you and your partner can make together.  (One of the problems with my friend's situation that I described earlier was that they let their parent's opinions get involved in their decision and that ended up causing a lot of confusion and relationship strain.)  Regardless of what any couple decides, I applaud Autumn for starting this thread - this is a very important topic and something I think too many couples don't discuss/think about until they are forced to.