(Closed) Getting a little pissy with FI

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5106 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

My bad…your post wasn’t showing up! Now I will read….

Post # 4
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@mrskisstobe: How even is the guest list split? I.e. what % of guests are yours vs his?

Can you make a ‘B list’ of people? That way if you get enough no RSVPs early on, you send invites to the second list?

How much say did he get in creating the original guest list? Who is paying for the wedding?

Post # 5
Member
3126 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

What helped me explain this to my fiance is that it is just not an added cost for food- if you add people you need more tables, more chairs, more linens, more centerpieces, more dishes, more silverwear, more invitations, more stamps, more favors…there will be less time spent with you per guest, less space on the dance floor, longer line at the bar….

We placed a limit per side and for every person we wanted to add over that someone had to be taken away. It seemed to be the most fair way to approach it.

Post # 6
Member
5106 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@MissTatas: You took the words right out of my mouth… and a lot more eloquently I might add!

Post # 8
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@mrskisstobe: If you are paying for the reception, you have a right to put your foot down.

Just say, “I cannot afford to invite anyone else. If you want to replace a guest on the list with someone else, we can do that, but the list cannot get any longer.”

Since you are paying, he should respect you.

Post # 10
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I feel your pain. My parents and his parents add invites daily. I wanted to send out no more than 200 invites…. now were up to 358. I’m beyond pissed and everytime I tell them to cut it down they just add more instead. Its SOOO annoying!! So I may just accidently not send a few… that “got lost in the mail” 😉

Post # 11
Member
166 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

The guest list has been our most stressful thing also.  We have argued and I have cried.  But, take a step back for a minute.  By just reading your posts it seems like there is a lot of “I” (I plan, I need, I am paying).  Remember that this is a union of two people and one day soon your money, wants, needs and friends will all be together.  I know it’s easier said then done, but sit down and decide if it is about numbers, money or just the principal of the fact of inviting people. 

Good luck hun.

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