Getting angry at best man! Vent.

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
42166 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

allinoelle:  People do not change just because someone is getting married.

FI says he has always been (and I quote) self centered, argumentative, and whiny.

This is who he is. I don’t know why you would expect any different.

Post # 3
650 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I know your upset but I don’t think he’ll change.  He sounds like a spoiled child.  I wonder why your FI would want someone like that as a best man?  I suggest you tell your FI you’ve had enough with him.  Since this person is your FI friend tell him he needs to deal with any issues that come up.  I would plan everything like you don’t expect him to do anything.  Then if he doesn’t no big deal, it’s covered.  If he does decide to do something it’s a “bonus”.

Post # 4
5195 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

julies1949:  My thoughts exactly.

Post # 6
33 posts
  • Wedding: October 2014

allinoelle:  Sorry you are going through this but if he has been this way the whole time and causing problems, someone should have had a serious talk with him long time ago. It seems crazy he thinks dogs can just be left alone for that long but at least he can’t force you guys to leave the dogs alone or your fi to get drunk night before the wedding. This guy sounds immature and I would think you would feel less stressed if he didn’t come to help clean up. I’m sure he would just annoy everyone there with his whining if he showed up and possibly hinder everyone’s productivity. Its not fair to everyone else but seeing as you’ve been able to put up with him this far and with only two weeks left,  the best thing seems to be to not ask him to do another single thing other than show up ready and  on time to your wedding / pre- ceremony pictures. If I were your fi, I would definitely reconsider this friendship! Try not to let him stress you out too much although I know this is much easier said than done. I’m sure your wedding day will be wonderful with or without his help.  

Post # 7
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

You and your FI are grown adults, so I assume when he’s telling you that he wants to get your FI drunk and that you can leave your dogs alone, you’ve told him no and otherwise don’t pay attention to these suggestions. As far as the cleaning up part goes, I’d just assume he’s not going to be helping. It seems to be what he’s like. Just accept that; ignore his ‘suggestions’; and go about planning your wedding. Why waste any more energy worrying about what he says or does?

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by  MrsYokiman.
Post # 8
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012


Yeah it’s annoying, but you knew who he was before he was made best man. Not sure why you expected him to step up just because you were getting married.

I think it’s time to adjust your expectations of him. If you strongly feel something needs to be said to him at this point, that is going to be up to your FI to have that talk as it is his friendship.  

Post # 9
499 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

1)  He’s being stupid and being a guy…stop letting him get under your skin.  This one’s on you.

2) I strongly believe pets are property not family members but no…you can’t leave dogs unattended form more than 24 hours, it’s cruel.  Most cats can hadle it, but not dogs.  Tell him to stop suggesting potentially illegal things.

3)  Going to pin this one on you again.  The guy’s excited about getting drunk and trying to get out of an obligation.  Just release the poor guy.  It dosn’t matter if you would do differently.  You’re not him.  Not everyone has “acts of service” in their love language skillset.

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