- 8 years ago
- Wedding: September 2010
Most of you don’t know me personally, but if you’ve read my posts, you know that there has been a lot of drama surrounding FI and my wedding planning.
Lately I feel like it’s just wearing me down. I am not a crier, but lately I can’t hold back tears. The stress and the frustration is just getting to me.
Between the MOH backing out via email (telling me she had some furniture to buy for her new apt), the FSIL spreading lies about FI and me, our wedding, etc because she’s upset that she’s not in the wedding, FCousinIL stirring up trouble by poking at FSIL – she is upset she’s not in the wedding too… my brother not coming to the wedding because his wife doesn’t care for my parents (and vice versa)…
Then last week I tore my calf muscle… I can’t work out or do anything and there’s only 3 weeks til my dress fitting, and I’m about 8lbs away from my goal… but that 8lbs is a big deal to me because it’s the difference between letting the dress out or leaving it as is…
I just feel like nothing is going right. FI and I have been snippy with each other lately, I know the stress is getting to him too. I feel like if I could at least exercise, I could be coping with this better, but instead I am sitting around and dwelling on the nonsense.
I’m also nervous about finances, not sure that we’re going to have enough saved by the time the bills are due. FI was out of work for 6 months, which really put a damper on our ability to save… now the ‘yes’ rsvp’s are rolling in like waves, and my brain keeps going “there’s another $x amount we need to save” when I should be focusing on how great the day will be to be surrounded by family/friends who care about us.
Truth be told, the big wedding thing is really getting to me because it’s not what we envisioned when we first started talking about planning. 156 invitees by the water, I’m sure it will be beautiful… but I can’t help but wonder if the two of us, our officiant and a witness would have saved us some of the stress/sadness that the larger wedding has caused.
Sorry this is so long, I just needed to get it out there before the random waterworks start again. This sucks.