Post # 1
Hey ladies! My boyfriend and I have been talking about getting engaged more and more lately, even looking at rings, the only issue is that I’m 19 and he’s 22. We have been together for three years now, and living together on our own for two. We pay our own bills,have stable jobs, and have a wonderful relationship, he’s my best friend. Our parents have been best friends since high school so we have known each others families for years, my parents love him and his parents adore me. My boyfriend and I always talked when we were little and would have play dates, but him and I just lost contact as we got older, but then years later our parents went on their yearly holiday together and this time we both decided to tag along, and we saw each other after years of lost contact, and that’s when we started getting romantically involved with each other!. I know he’s the one, and we talk about our future constantly. I guess the question is, is 19 and 22 too young to get engaged? I feel others wouldn’t take it seriously, even though we’re both mature and know what we want. Our engagement would be at least two years before we get married. And for others who got engaged young, how did you handle criticism from others being sceptical about your relationship? Thanks for reading!
Post # 4
- Wedding: November 2014 - Sea Ranch Lodge
People used to get married at this age all of the time… I say if both of you are ready for it, then you shouldn’t worry what other people think. It sounds like you support yourselves and have your **** together. That’s a lot more than many people can say, even those who are much older than you 😉
Post # 5
@chantellet94: You’re going to get 30,000 different, very strong opinions on this.
There are people that meet in highschool and are happily married for 40+ years…and then there are people like me who are SO thankful they didnt marry the person they dated at 19.
Post # 6
Only you can answer that question.
Statistically, your marriage is less likely to work out if you mary young. But of course, you are more than a statistic and your relationship is not a roll of the dice.
Regarding critism – people will think what they think. You just have to let it roll off your back. You can also avoid inviting people’s opinions by not talking about the engagement too often. Or, if you really want to avoid critism, wait until you are 27 to get married (just kidding).
Post # 7
In this day and age, yes. I know the whole “My grandparents got engaged at 16 and were married by 17” stories will flood in, but those were different times. Different social norms than what we have today.
With that being said, I’m on the fence. You’re still very young. He’s still very young. You both, physically, have a lot of growing up to do. Your body isn’t even done making itself yet and you’re going to go through a lot of mental changes and learning about yourself and him.
I would suggest a long engagement to cover this. But, this is your life and only you and your SO can decide how to best proceed. Do things because you want to, not because you feel you have to, or want to prove somebody wrong.
Post # 8
I don’t think its too young to be engaged especially if you don’t plan on getting married for another couple years. You said you have been living together for 2 years already and in my opinion I feel like once you’ve lived together you are already aware of what your getting into. If people criticize you just ignore it, only you know what makes you happy!
Post # 9
@chantellet94: you can do whatever you like – you’re a consenting adult.
But if I were you, I’d stack the odds/statistics in my favor: meaning, a girl should turn 25 before getting married. Decreases your odds of divorce substantially.
So by all means, get engaged… but blow out those 25 candles before walking down the aisle
Post # 10
As someone who has been with the same person since 19, I say wait. We’re both going to be 25 when we marry and that’s considered young.
I’ve changed so much in the last 6 years and I think had we been married, it would have been extremely tough. Live your life, enjoy your time as it is right now. Adulthood with marriage and babies and other stuff can wait until you’re done developing.
However, it’s your life and no one else can live it. You don’t need permission from society to do what you want to do.
Post # 11
@chantellet94: yeah…this can easily go both ways. i know some people that have been together since high school. in MY situation i am a completely. i mean a COMPLETELY different person than i was when i was 19. (i’m 27 now…). you don’t really plan on changing that much…but i feel like 18-25 is a BIG growing/changing period. when i was 19 i was in the same boat as you…thought the guy i was with was “the one”…i am so very thankful that i took a second look at the situation i was in and didn’t marry him. he was great but after changing so much since then, we would never have lasted. just really, really think about getting married before you do. 19 and 22 are still very young ages.
Post # 12
I guess the question is, is 19 and 22 too young to get engaged?
If you have to ask and seek approval…….
Post # 13
- Wedding: March 2014 - Brazil Room
I have two sides to this:
Personally, I got engaged at 19 and married at 20 and ended up divorced by 22. We were perfect and compatible.. but then suddenly wanted completely different lives and found out compatibility issues immediately after we got married. We went to counseling… it didn’t help.
Last Sunday, I went to the anniversary party of two friends of mine that got married at 18 and it was their 25th anniversary!! Very happy couple!! Their son just got married (he’s 19 and so is his wife) and they seemed quite happy as well and already have a baby together.
There is no way to know what your outcome will be no matter what age you marry at. Good luck to you and to all of us 🙂
Post # 14
@chantellet94: I think if your both ready, then its fine.
I got engaged to FI a few days after I turned 22, FI is 13 years older then me, But I guess I’m on the “younger side”. Before we got engaged we were togehter about 3 years. We’re getting married late next year, so we’re also having a 2 year engagement.
Regardless of what people say about your ages, each couple is different. Do what the both of you feel is right.
Post # 15
@chantellet94: I wouldn’t say it is. You both sound very mature. I met my boyfriend when I was 15 and he was 18. We got engaged in July, I’m 20, he’s 23 and I couldn’t imagine my life any different! My FI’s cousin just turned 19 yesterday actually and just got engaged to her BF of 2 years, and you can tell they’re perfect for each other:)
Honestly, if the only thing holding you back is your age, I would stop holding back. It’s just a number.
Post # 16
I think it is too young. I’m sure you think you’re mature enough to handle it, and you know what you want, but the likelihood of that actually being true is pretty slim. We all think we’re mature and know what we want when we’re 19. I know I did. I’m glad I didn’t marry the person I was with then.
I’m not trying to be a jerk here, I’m just trying to be honest. Give it time. You’re going to do a lot of changing, whether you want to or not.