- 7 years ago
…Or something like that
I wrote a post yesterday about the difference between legitimate reasons and nervous excuses in regards to why we’re all still “waiting”. I casually decided to talk to my SO about my poll findings last night, and pointed out that the majority of the bees are also still waiting due to financial reasons/saving up.
He responded by saying that yes, he is certainly at the tail ending of saving for an engagement ring, but is also waiting to arrange a very special, very “us” event/moment to pop the question. I am honestly okay with these reasons. I understand that a ring can be a hefty purchase, and I appreciate that he is taking the time to create a memorable proposal. I know the time will come, and relatively soon at that. However, my SO went on to admit that he is a little nervous about the personal shift and growth that he feels will begin immediately after we become engaged. Some of the things he mentioned:
“I usually play rugby or soccer every Saturday. When we become engaged, our weekends will be devoted to searching for venues and working on wedding crafts. I’m excited to be involved, but that is a huge 180 when it comes to my personal hobbies”. (hah, total over exaggerartion, imo).
“Once we’re married, I hardly think either of us will want to continue living in an apartment much longer. We’ll want to buy a house. And that means money, research, and time. We’ll have to live and breathe real estate.”
“I don’t think we’re the type to wait too long to start a family. Marriage will mean babies. And even though having kids is going to be awesome, it’s also gunna mean a complete lifestyle change”
Now, I really appreciated that he opened up to me last night. And even though he reassured me that he still wants nothing more than to be my husband, I know that his statements convey a little fear. I totally understand that he is a bit nervous about what is to come – it is a HUGE step. However, we’re in our mid-late twenties, are both educated, decently paid, mature individuals who share a secure life with one another. I just think that for him, the fantasy of talking about marriage and raising a family is completely different from actually hunkering down and putting that plan into action. I want him to know that I don’t expect him to give up his personality, hobbies, and passions just because we decide to share a life together. And while I want him to feel ready, I also need to find positive ways to encourage him to realize that, essentially, he already is ready. We’re ready.
Anyone have any words of advice? Any other bees in a similar boat with their SOs?