Getting gifts in mail before wedding… how to thank?

posted 3 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 5
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013 - Callanwolde Fine Arts Center

I would send the note as soon as possible after receiving the gift. As a guest, its nice to know that your gift was received and as the bride and groom, its one less thing you have to do later. If you write the thank you’s right away, it goes pretty quickly.

Post # 2
Member
2873 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

You can send one thank you note now.  You don’t have to wait for the wedding.   It will be one more thing done that you don’t have to worry about after the wedding. 

Post # 3
Member
8706 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I sent generic thank-yous and then I sent them “real” thank yous (With our photos & such on it) after I got them back.

Post # 4
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Jw1724:  I’m planning on writing a thank you note as soon as I get presents.

The one exception is a gift from my sister’s parents-in-law, because according to my sister, my mom was supposed to keep it until after the wedding, but my mom thought she could give it to me right then, so we have it, but I’m not allowed to let them know I’ve seen it, yet. If you’re confused, so am I. I’m just waiting until after the wedding to send them the thank you note.

Post # 8
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013 - Callanwolde Fine Arts Center

Jw1724:  I would still make sure to send his cousin a card asap. It is fine to send a message on facebook as long as it is immediately followed by a written card.

Post # 7
Member
6869 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Jw1724:  Ideally, it’s best to write notes right  as you go along. Only one note is necessary and it is indeed considered the “real” note.   You can say how very much you are looking forward to sharing your wedding day with them, of course. It is not necessary or desirable to wait months on end to get photos or personalized stationery.  It’s about thanking people for the present. 

That’s because a thank you is properly for a gift, not for attendance.  As host, you thank your guests for coming verbally and  by visiting with them at the wedding, but just as with a dinner party, the onus is actually on the guest to write or call to thank you for hosting them. 

Believe it or not  since thank yous are understood to be for gifts, it is not recommended to write to thank for attendance only, since there is a risk of it being seen as a not too  subtle gift grab.  Also,  if you send a second note, I think it can even come across as wondering if the first gift was really just a shower or engagement present, not the wedding gift.  

In any case, one note is enough. 

Post # 11
Member
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

You need to send a hand written thank you wether it’s now or later. I found a way to let people know how much we appreciated their gift and received it and that we were going to send out thank you’s after the wedding so that we could send a photo. We did send a thank you note to those we knew were not coming to the wedding at all.

Post # 12
Member
564 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Jw1724:  

Send a handwritten card thanking them and expressing your regret that they won’t be at the wedding.

And…done.

Post # 15
Member
941 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Jw1724:  I would send it as a private message through Facebook and not on their or your wall. It might make it uncomfortable for those others invited who can’t offer that expensive of a gift, not to mention for those who aren’t invited at all. 

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