Post # 1
So my fiancé and I are having a small 30 person wedding and I swear I never thought we would recieve so much guilt for doing so. Closest friends and family and I’m sorry but if we don’t see you or talk to you then why would we invite you to our most intimate day? We arent the type that like to be on display and we on,y wanted those we know well there. Well so much guilt is being given over guests not being able to bring boyfriends(whom we have never met, whom they haven’t dated long) or bringing all their kids, or people coming who we never speak to ever! It’s so frustrating being giving grief over not wanting people we don’t consort with much or even know at the wedding. We almost rushed and got married without anyone but decided we wanted our closest there. Now it’s a whole drama over who can come. It’s like they think we are dissing them when we never speak or hang out to begin with. What do you think about this? It’s almost like I’d rather not had the stress of setting up music, food, drinks, locations, just to be complained to!
Post # 2
beth.messer.9: Have the wedding you want. Your true friends will respect your wishes.
Post # 3
beth.messer.9: If a small wedding is what you want, don’t let anyone else bullying you into making it bigger. Just stand your ground and if you feel that you want to explain yourself, just say you only want those who are absolutely closest to you there. Your friends that want to bring the +1s should understand once they get how intimate it will be. As for those that just try to invite themselves without you really having a history, well… just makes it clearer why you don’t socialize with them.
For the record, we had a 35 people wedding and I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.
Post # 4
The sad thing is I think some will show up with someone anyway after me saying no. I’m not sure but how will I handle that anyway?
Post # 5
beth.messer.9: My view is if they’re not going to respect your wishes and be happy for you, they don’t deserve to be there in the first place! (and aren’t worth stressing over!)
Have the wedding you want, stay strong and be very clear that no oneother than those specifically listed on the invite may attend!
Post # 6
There is always going to be someone upset about not being invited to your wedding. Wouldn’t be surprised if you invited 500 people and at least someone would get pissy. Have the wedding that you feel comfortable with, others will just have to get over it.
Post # 7
If you don’t talk to them anyway then they’ll get over it before you know it, because you guys don’t talk anyway. 😉 Anyway, just say its financial reasons and that you’d appreciate it if they respected that.
Post # 8
I also had a 30 person wedding. I’m sure people were upset but it is pretty obvious at such a small wedding that’s it’s just family and very close friends. If it were 75-100 then people might feel the sting more
Post # 9
beth.messer.9: I agree with all of the other bees above. Stand your ground on this one because ultimately it’s your day. If you’ve never even met the +1’s that they’re giving you grief over, then that’s just ridiculous! I love the idea of an intimiate wedding 🙂
Post # 10
- Wedding: September 2014 - Villa Celeste
We are having a small 30 person destination wedding, after telling our famiies that we wanted the big blowout traditional ceremony/reception. Whoops! Our family was a little bit irritated, because they had already told their friends about the wedding, even though invites hadn’t been sent out. To put it in perspective, FI and I got engaged 4 years ago. During the first year we we started planning the big dream wedding, only to realize it wasn’t at all what we wanted. That’s what matters is what YOU want. I wanted to share this day with the closest people to me. I don’t think anyone will feel snubbed, as it’ll be clear this is a small affair.
Post # 11
beth.messer.9: I feel you! I can’t even tell you how many people came out of the woodwork and tried to invite themselves to my destination wedding. It’s like they needed an excuse to go on a vacation. But who cares? If we are only fb friends or we haven’t physcially seen each other in a year, off the list. I agree with what other posters said, if you never see them or speak to them who cares if they are mad bc you don’t talk to them anyway!