(Closed) Getting him to help plan – my first (long) success story!

posted 8 years ago in Grooms/men
  • poll: Does your SO help with planning?
    Yep, he does more than me! : (0 votes)
    We do a lot together : (7 votes)
    23 %
    When I give him guidance, he's super helpful : (6 votes)
    19 %
    He offers input if I really need it/ask for it : (16 votes)
    52 %
    I'm not sure he even knows we're getting married : (1 votes)
    3 %
    I'm not sure he even wants to get married : (0 votes)
    Other : (1 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    169 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    oh my goodness. that sounds so challenging trying to plan from so far away! i am doing the same thing, but at least we are in the same time zone, least of all the same continent!

    similar to you – i’ve found that if i give him specific tasks with clear guidance on the information i’m looking for and the results im expecting, he tends to do pretty well. it seems like im treating him like a child, but if i provide explicit expectations, there’s less room for error.

    So instead of “call the bartending service and get a quote”, it’s “call the bartending service and get a quote, we have XX people, will need them from XX time, our specialty cocktail will be xXX and we need XXX other specifics.”

    it seems to work! he was able to get us a great deal with the hotel for our room block, money off at the bartending service and lots of information on our guest shuttle!

    Post # 5
    Member
    19 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    This is an excellent thread… I’ve been struggling with how to get B involved in the planning but it makes a lot of sense to break it down for him. Men! Always need extra guidance. I am totally taking the make a spreadsheet-set a deadline approach in the future.

    Post # 6
    Member
    4567 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Aw that’s great! Mr. KM is perfectly content for me to do all of the planning, which is okay cause I’m a bit of a control freak (that sounds terrible, but it’s so much easier for me to just do things myself). He’s more than willing to do what I ask when I ask it, but he doesn’t really want to have to take iniative on projects.

    Post # 8
    Member
    4765 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

    My FI definitely helps when I ask him to. But he’s definitely one that needs very explicit guidance to know what to do! I’m with KM, though, most of it I want to do myself ’cause I’m a bit of a control freak!

    Post # 10
    Member
    149 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    Mine is willing to step in when I ask him to do things… but is leaving it mostly up to me since the only important detail of the wedding for him is that I’m there. Which, while cute, leaves me planning it on my own… which I’m not really into. I more just want the wedding to be there and be nice without the planning! And I want it to be about US, not me. But I’ve also been out of town for 2 weeks, so maybe that’ll change?

    Post # 11
    Member
    14 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    My FI has an opinion about everything, but wasn’t willing to help (until recently Smile). Now that he has seen how stressed I’ve been (we’re also planning from afar, and my mom lives 3 hours away), he’s been more involved!

    The topic ‘Getting him to help plan – my first (long) success story!’ is closed to new replies.

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