Getting his sh** together

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
2474 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Sounds like he has issues with controlling how much he spends. Good luck with waiting, hopefully he gets that under control! 

Post # 3
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Kiawah Island

He’s already shown you his priorities and now he’s telling you what you want to hear.  He knows he’s going to be broke for a while after he pays the taxes, so he is buying a little time with you.  Once he gets a windfall, you’ll see a PS4 at his place before you’ll see a ring on your finger.

Post # 4
3778 posts
Honey bee

I would be pretty unhappy with this and this is funademtally why I walked away from my ex recently. He just didn’t want to marry me and would just move timelines etc etc. He promised to save and he didn’t. I hope that things end more positivly for you, some men just haven’t quite grown up yet. Some men never will. Hope he saves for a ring and he doesn’t push your timeline back again.

Post # 5
2484 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

It’s good that he took the ps4 back but I’m still not sure his priorities are in order. I know that’s not very encouraging but just try not to get too excited if he decides to be a poop head and spends money frivolously again. Hopefully I’m wrong though and he really has gotten his shit together. 

Post # 6
523 posts
Busy bee

lovecacti:  +1

Are spending issues a regular problem for him? I mean the laptop is probably a necessary expense but buying a PS4 when he still has to pay his taxes causes me to raise my eyebrow. Financial issues can cause huge problems in relationships. You mentioned in another thread that his parents are very bad with money. If I were in your shoes this would be my biggest concern. Personally, it sounds a little like you’re taking on the role of “mom” (or haranguing wife) already chiding him for his purchases and that wouldn’t fly for me.

Hopefully this is a temporary lapse of judgement on his part, otherwise I’d start looking into books on finance.

Post # 7
2894 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Jadegreen: does he have another gaming system or something? why dont you get him the ps4 as a mangagement present when he gets you the ring?

Post # 9
4043 posts
Honey bee

Jadegreen:  So is he reluctant to buy a ring? If he is good with money and just recently wanted to buy big ticket items, why does he seem to be reluctant about the ring? Are you perhaps (unintentionally) pressuring him for marriage when he isn’t ready? 

Post # 10
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Jadegreen:  Sorry, but your recent update doesn’t mean he’s good with money. Having money saved up doesn’t mean you’re good with money, especially if you save, and can buy games but not things you need. If he hasn’t paid his taxes from last year, he’s not good with money.

Good luck with this one.

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