Getting married before wedding

posted 2 years ago in Legal
Post # 2
Member
397 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015 - Hanover Grande Ballroom

Is there a particular reason that you are decided to get married tomorrow as opposed to just waiting the 5 months a 2 days?

Some guests may feel taken advantage of when they find out youre already married, and it might look a little gift grabby, just my opinion!

Post # 3
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015 - The Biltmore Ballrooms

I set a fire on here a few days ago because we’ve been legally married over a year and I am still having a huge wedding ::flips weave::.  I was told the only reason I am “allowed” to do this is if he was in the military or if we got married for insurance. lmao.. neither qualify.. we were broke and now we arent…soooo..

 

anyways. We decided to use our court wedding date… I think doing it early also helps you get ahead of the game with all the last name changes (if you are doing that).. It’s different, yes. But there is nothing wrong with it.. don’t let ANYONE tell you that… not even these killerbees.

 

 

Post # 5
Member
397 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015 - Hanover Grande Ballroom

the church said you could not be members until you were married? doesnt sound llike an ‘only god can judge you’ type of church…

Post # 6
Member
6614 posts
Bee Keeper

We are having our legal marriage officiated by a pastor in February, but in May we’re going to re-enact our vows and inviting a small group of family and friends for a celebration. We’re doing it this way because we wanted to mark our two year anniversary since our first date in February, but the cold and snow in the winter can be unpredictable, especially for those from out of town. Plus, I never dreamed of having a big dramatic wedding or anything, so it’s my way of sticking it to the wedding industry :). 

My family and close friends and colleagues know we’re planning two events, but I just tell acquaintances about the May event to keep things less complicated. But sometimes when I mention the two events, people get confused and think it’s silly to do two. Whatevs though.

Post # 7
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - The Old Courthouse in Cleveland

Sheridan2015:  I would suggest maybe posting this in military! I know plenty of military couples who have done this. My FI and I have considered it, still haven’t come to a decision though. 

I believe that this is a very personal thing. I have a friend that was married for 8 months before her wedding. When I was considering doing this I asked her how it made her feel about her wedding ceremony/ reception. Her answer was basically that the wedding still felt special to her, but that it’s hard to say if she would have felt differently if they had waited. 

My fear is that my wedding might feel less special and exciting. Although the benefits of being “married” on paper would be great right now, I am leaning towards waiting. 

Maybe if we knew why it would be easier to answer? If you need health benefits or something then it might be more logical. 

Post # 8
Member
2065 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Sheridan2015:  many many bees do this. We did it and so did BIL. both totally different appoaches. we did it a month after we got engaged. we decided to keep it secret. totally didnt tell anyone but a couple witnesses. didnt dress up. it was 15 mins long (if that) and we went home, i read and he played video games. i didnt feel married at all except now he was under my insurance and could get some serious issues out of the way (everything ended up A ok ;)) we got married a year and half later. i use the wedding date that we had the big church wedding on. one witness- his uncle spilled the beans and his famiy was upset that we didnt invite them… (they got over it). why did we decided not to tell anyone? (my family still doesnt know:catholic family) his BIL had a big party and court wedding and everyone went. (this was after they married in mexico with her family) but they also wanted a church wedding in america. by the time they had their american church wedding everyone complained they already were married and had a party. they didnt take the actual church wedding that serious. I also do not believe we were married until it was in a church and in front of friends and family. but for health reasons we HAD to move it up. that is why we decided to keep it secret. and if people got wind we had a “court”wedding i just straight up said we wornt married yet. because i didnt feel we were or believed we were. Now his family doesnt even remember we were married before hand. when people refered to us as getting married its always about our church wedding. just last year. not two years ago. when we measure time married it always and only the church wedding we had 😉 Good luck and i hope it all works out

FYI: i also didnt change my name until after our church wedding

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by  .
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