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I'm a bridesmaid for a friend who's (2nd) wedding is next month. They got married last June at the courthouse but didn't tell anyone. I found out by mistake and was a little pissed, however they didn't tell their parents until 5 months later. I think that was pretty wrong. They got married because he's in the military and she needed the benefits, not a shameful reason AT ALL! She says it was his idea to not tell anyone (also his second marriage). I don't know, the whole thing was weird to not tell anyone. But I don't fault them for getting married at all. My friend wore a short white dress, and he wore khakis and a button down shirt, I think. Then they went out to their favorite restaurant for dinner. Now they're having a full ceremony and reception next month. It'll be the day before their 1 year anniversary. I don't think it will make the November wedding "fake" as some have noted. But are you having a ceremony then? As with my friend, I think it's more of a vow renewal ceremony, because I don't see how you can be married twice. I don't really see how it's any different than getting married either at a destination wedding, eloping, Vegas, whatever, and then later on having a reception for all of your family and friends. Whatever the reason you want to have your ceremony, I think it's special to you, and that's what is important. A marriage is about two people and their love for each other anyway. Enjoy it and congratulations!! And I love the fact that you're including your puppy!!
My best friend/MOH and her fiance got married for legal/immigration reasons months before their public wedding, and told only their parents. While I understand that they really *had* to so that he could work in the US, I was *quite* annoyed when I (the MOH) found out the truth the night before the wedding. It is your day, and your choice, but know that some people are liable to be unhappy (and hurt!) that they weren't in on the 'secret.'
It sounds like a very romantic idea to get married with a private ceremony. But to me, it seems a bit odd to have 2 wedding ceremonies. I think it would be fine to have a private courthouse wedding now and just a reception for everyone in November, it's what most people do when they have a destintation wedding. In my oppinion if I was a guest invited to the November wedding, I wouldn't see the point in attending the ceremony part if you were already married, it would just seem a bit fake. I guess it depends on how it is done.
In the end, who cares what anyone else thinks, just do what you want to do for the ceremony.
In November we are doing a ceremony, which I could honestly skip (it's all about the party for me). But the groom and some of our parents want to do some sort of ceremony that says "Hey, we are marrying each other and this is why." Kind of a public declaration. We are not having an officiant because we do not want a religious ceremony, and we don't want to pay a stranger to do it for us. We are going to have a friend lead the ceremony and we will have a few people do readings, we will exchange our rings, and say our vows as a way to express our feelings to our friends and family. It will be short, but sweet. We are also not keeping it a secret that we signed our marriage license early. One friend of mine said she sees it as getting the paperwork in order, but that the November wedding will still be "real". We wanted to have our dog in our ceremony in November, but 1) she is so poorly behaved (which is our fault) and 2) the venue doesn't allow dogs, and 3) it would be really obnoxious in general.
I guess I should add that our reasons for the early ceremony now are mostly financial because we are buying a house together and feel that it will just be better legally to be married. Also I will be able to get really good health insurance for a lot less money, and the money we save will help with the house. (I currently pay a shocking amount of money for really really bad health care coverage because as a postdoc, i am considered self-employed. i also pay a boat load in taxes.) I would hate to think what would happen if we buy our house and then I got hit by a car and my bad health insurance put us into major debt.
Well two experiences for you:
1)my collegue, she did a simple courthouse ceremony the morning of her wedding because the ceremony she was going to have at the "real" wedding is not recognize by our state since it was her brother doing it. No problem whatsever with family, they understood.
An other couple I know will do exactly the same thing, except a couple of weeks before for the same reasons.
2)We got married at the courthouse in July 07. Why? Well for immigration because it was the only way for me to stay here legally and for us to be able to be happy. We had already done enough long distance as it was. His family made the day very special, we had 20-30 people coming. About 10 at the super short ceremony and then 20 or so at the party organized afterward.
My parents couln't make it, neither could his mom and some of our friends. So we are having a more formal ceremony, and yes it will be the full wedding in November. It's not a renewal in my mind. It's a way to celebrate our love in front of our family and friends and use our own vows. Everyone understands and has no problem with it.
So I guess it all depends on how you present it to family and how you explain the reasons for it.
If your goal is just for practical reasons, I would make t very simple. Do tell everyone though so they don't find out by accident and get offended.
You will likely also need witnesses. For the rest it depends if you want it to be special just for the two of you and have your own way to celebrate it or if you plan to invite people to celebrate it as well. But given what you say, I think I'd just keep it simple.
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My "husband" and I did this. I think it is actually kind of hurtful for people to say that THEY were hurt by the personal choice of the bride and groom, as it is their wedding and they can do what they wish. The reason we were married at a courthouse about two months ago is also because he is in the military and I am still in school - there would be all kinds of problems with university housing/finances/etc if we had waited until our August ceremony to be legally married. However, for us, this ceremony was kind of unimportant - we took time off work/went in between classes and wore jeans and it was pouring rain. It was nice - the man who performed the ceremony was very sweet and it was private, but we were doing it for insurance and housing. We still feel as though we are engaged and so have kept the fact that we had this ceremony as private as possible (parents and a few friends know). In our eyes, our commitment will be in the ceremony we hold in front of our friends and family in August, even though neither of us are religious and aren't even sure who will officiate! But for you, I think it is entirely possible for someone to want the privacy of that ceremony as your personal to commitment and still have your ceremony with friends and family as your witnesses. And it would be wonderful to celebrate you private ceremony in your own way by having your picnic, it sounds like fun! I believe the purpose of the large ceremony is to have friends and family as witness, to support you two through your marriage, and to celebrate the two of you. Tell your friends and family that that is how you feel, if you do, and they should understand. And if they don't, don't worry. It's your wedding, so you should do what is best for you!
my bf and i are planning on doing this ourselves and while we've talked about it with our friends already [who all thought it was a great idea] we're waiting to tell our parents until after we're formally engaged. i don't see second ceremony as being fake and honestly, its sad that some people would think that in the first place but i guess to each their own. how could anyone be mad about someone's personal decision? don't worry about anyone else's thoughts; the most important thing is to do what you feel is the best for your situation. i think as long as you let the important people in your life know [i.e. family and maybe close friends]you're fine.
i think your plans sound wonderful. is there a nice hotel or bed and breakfast you can stay the night at? while not a full on mini-moon, it'd be a nice place to just enjoy yourself afterwards.
Actually buying the house doesn't make any difference, unless what you mean is that one of you is buying a house. If you buy it together, you jointly own the equity and the debt regardless of your marital status, whether you buy it as two single people or a married couple. The only possible difference comes into play if you split up - where in a community property state you would equally own the debt and equity regardless of the actual amount of your contributions to the mortgate, and in a non-community property state you would own equity proportional to what you actually paid.
I think that people primarily get upset about a second ceremony when the first ceremony is some kind of secret - and then they get upset because they feel deceived (and rightly so). I have several friends who got married before their actual ceremony and reception - a few because their "wedding" was outside the country, and they didn't want to deal with a foreign marriage license; a few because they just wanted to be married for whatever reason (insurance? maybe) but didn't have the time to plan and throw a big party until a few months later; and one because her mother was dying of cancer, and really wanted to see her married before she passed away. All of them were perfectly up front about the situation. There are really nice ways to incorporate this into your ceremony - you can have the officiant talk about the importance of expressing your commitment in front of family and friends, as opposed to using the word "marriage." It's a subtle difference, but one that will be important to some people. Because frankly you will already be married, and for some time. So there are two reasons to have a second ceremony - either because it's important to you to validate your commitment before your family and friends, or because you're trolling for presents. People who don't feel like you somehow deceived them are much more likely to understand that you felt it was important, even if already married, to express your commitment in their presence, and to feel flattered by that.
I would go ahead and be happy and content with you and your fiance's decision to marry early. It is entirely your decision, and honestly, I don't understand why other people get offended, especially when it's for reasons like being in the military or immigration purposes. People who have never experienced those types of situations, don't understand what it's like, which is why it is so easy for them to take the selfish route and be 'hurt' or 'offended' that they were not in on the secret. There are plans for a bigger celebration with friends and famiy and that's all that matters. Even more so , you and your fiance will be together. It makes you question why some other people can't see the bigger picture and just be happy for you...
In response to suzanno's comments, I know you weren't implying that WE are trolling for presents, but rather that some people might do that. I wanted to make a comment that even if people were getting married for "the gifts", that doesn't make a lot of financial sense. We are spending more money on the reception than we could possibly ever get in gifts. We are only inviting very close friends and family, who are not wealthy. We are doing it because we want to, it will be fun to get everyone together since we all live all over the place, it will be probably be the only time our families will meet each other en mass, and I don't actually care if we get any gifts from anyone.
My fiance and I are sort of doing this. His parents were very adamant about us having a religious ceremony, in a church. Our big wedding will be on a Saturday, and our friend who introduced us to each other will be our officiant at our civil ceremony. However, the week before we will have a very small church ceremony with only our immediate family and our best man and MOH, so that my fiance's parents will feel like we took care of the religious element. Because of the rules of the church, our marriage license will be for that day, however, our anniversary will be the day of our big wedding, since that is the ceremony that means the most to us.
I totally didn't mean to imply that was your motivation. Just that people who are likely to be upset are likely to make that kind of judgement. I don't see how anyone can reasonably be upset that you wanted to throw a big celebration in order to have them support (emotionally and morally) your commitment.
And certainly, most of us are never going to get out of a wedding in presents what we put into it in cost. However, there have been several posts about brides (generally Asian, where giving money is the norm) who have MADE money on their weddings. And I was actually told by a bride (very young daughter of some friends) the other day that she originally wanted a small wedding, but had concluded that she "might as well invite everyone, since mom and dad are paying, and its just that many more presents." Can't wait to get an invitation from her parents. So in fact, some people do, and I think we all know it.
We were married in November in a private "just the two of us" ceremony at the courthouse and we will have our large wedding in August. We are really happy that we did it this way, i think it makes the stress level go down just a bit. We have only told a few friends about this, we are not hiding it, but it was private, so we are not broadcasting it either.
I dont think it makes our August wedding fake at all. Our private ceremony was just that, something for just the two of us. The big wedding in August will be real, we will be emarking on a new journey with our family and friends involved. It is our day, so we figured we could do what ever we wanted, and if the traditionalists have a problem with it well tough, its not their day or marriage. In addition, we just used the traditional vows at our courthouse ceremony, on the big day we pplan on restating the traditional vows as well as adding our own personal vows.
As far as a special way to celebrate the private ceromony, we hade a really nice lunch and bought 3 very nice bottles of wine, one from the year we first met, one for 2007 (year of private ceremony), and 1 realllly nice bottle to share as our first day as Mr. & Mrs. MC (i haven't changed my name yet, will in September). We figure we can drink these on our anniversaries as we so choose. We also gave eachother small presents.
I hope you two enjoy your special day, as well as the big special day. Do what you want, its your life, everyone else is just a spectator.
I am definitely not on the side with the skeptics. If this is your decision, it should be supported 100%.
My brother and sister-in-law got married in a similar fashion. They were married in July at the courthouse with just us siblings and my parents present. In December, they exchanged public vows and rings for the first time at the same site as the reception and then celebrated at the reception with the rest of their friends and family. It was beautiful, it was perfectly according to what they wanted, and they have no regrets nor was anyone "confused" nor "upset" nor "annoyed" etc. etc.
Just to clarify, not sure if some of those comments were directed at me or not, but when I say I was upset with my friend, it wasn't an "I'm no longer friends with you" kind of upset. It was more of a "how could you not tell me you're married, and you're crazy!" Definitely more of a joking around situation. My (or anyone's) personality doesn't come through the computer. And of course I was thrilled for her, and totally understood why they did it. But nobody (even her, the bride) understood why it had to be kept a secret. So I wasn't offended that they got married, not at all. And I hope that's not the way my comments came across because it wasn't how I meant it. Sometimes I wish I could talk into this thing, instead of type. Haha. I completely support it when people want to go and have a private ceremony for WHATEVER reason, most people will just be much more relaxed on their wedding day that way. I wouldn't mind getting married at the courthouse first, I pay way too much for health insurance and that would really help
. Again, I'm sorry if I offended anyone, it was not my intention at all.
We are on the same boat....almost...
We've been married for 5 years...NO ONE KNOWS... 
Well, almost no one...my bff knows, she was actually the first one to know cause I wanted her to be a witness...his parents know but it took us a few months to tell them...my parents know..it took us 3 years to tell them!
We decided to keep it a secret because at the time we were 23, had no money, no finished education, no job...so I thought never would our parents approve.
Next year we are having a catholic wedding which by no means is 'fake'..since we only had a civil and the catholic IS a new marriage (religious) and we do sign the church record...no one will be the wiser. 
Oh, and we're not doing it for presents either...we think that now that we can stand on our own two feet our families deserve to go thru all the joy we've already experience as a married couple...the planning, the process, the wedding itself.
Everybody is excited. It's like a blank slate...and we are finally making it OFFICIAL! the best feeling in the world!
I'll try to be brief because this seems to be a novel topic around here.
I feel like you contradict yourself by wanting a small, private ceremony (because you're private people) but then wanting to have a full scale wedding later on. No offense, but that's probably where the "trolling for gifts" impression comes from. I tend to agree with Suzanno, unless you're upfront with everyone beforehand, you're going to upset people that feel like they're obligated to buy you a something when you didn't even see fit to tell them about the real wedding.
Without a wealthy benefactor, the 6 months you have until November is not a long time to save & plan for a big wedding. Maybe you could just host a celebration instead- that way no one is upset because they missed the "real" wedding & you don't have to ask for gifts. If your goal is to simply enjoy the company of your family and loved ones, a party (similar to an engagement celebration) may be a better idea.
I just don't see how having a wedding is trolling for gifts???
To me is about having the big celebration everyone missed and that includes the bride and the groom. To each its own.
For that matter..why have birthday parties that DON'T fall on your exact birthday??? wouldn't that be asking for gifts when the "real" thing happened already???
It doesn't make sense.
Do it! I really don't understand people who feel "offended" or "deceived" by this. In almost EVERY country in the world besides the US there is a seperate legal ceremony and religious/friends&family ceremony later. Eva Longoria did it when she got married in france and no one felt that her church wedding was "fake." Some times these take place the same day, sometimes the day before, and sometimes weeks or months apart. It's so common amongst people I know that I'm really surprised this is an issue for anyone. And for many people their "real" wedding IS the one that takes place in a church, temple, etc. under the eyes of God and before their families and friends. The stuff by the state is just a legal formality. Do what's best for you and don't give a second thought to nay sayers.
Do it! I really don't understand people who feel "offended" or "deceived" by this. In almost EVERY country in the world besides the US there is a seperate legal ceremony and religious/friends&family ceremony later. Eva Longoria did it when she got married in france and no one felt that her church wedding was "fake." Some times these take place the same day, sometimes the day before, and sometimes weeks or months apart. It's so common amongst people I know that I'm really surprised this is an issue for anyone. And for many people their "real" wedding IS the one that takes place in a church, temple, etc. under the eyes of God and before their families and friends. The stuff by the state is just a legal formality. Do what's best for you and don't give a second thought to nay sayers.
You have to do it for your own reasons and it has to be special to you. Just remember that there are those friends and family who love you dearly and want to be there on your big day to show their love and support. They may look at your big day as the courhouse ceremony and not the November ceremony which means they could be hurt to find out that you didn't want them to be there. Be prepared for the fall out.
I continue to puzzle over this thread. Was it ever implied that her private ceremony was going to be "secret"? It was even stated that family and friends have been consulted.
Back to the original question at hand, I say a beautiful dinner out for just the two of you at your favorite restaurant would be a beautiful way to make the day special. Don't worry about cost and treat yourself to a bottle of wine and dessert, too. Maybe even stay at a local hotel for the evening so it all feels special and new and romantic. It doesn't have to be expensive or extravagant, just simple ways to set the day apart from every other day on the calendar.
Oh, and congratulations on your upcoming wedding!
I also find strange that people might get offended! I don't see why? In my experience people don't feel we're married because we didn't have a wedding...not the other way around...
They felt cheated no because they weren't present when we signed legal papers...but because there was no party!! no official announcement, no big bang...so in a way...or quiet just the two of us "signing of papers"....is "fake"...the real thing will be at the church...NEXT YEAR!
Good friends and family that loves you won't care as long as they're there to celebrate when YOU celebrate!
I disagree. I'd be really hurt if somebody I loved and cared about got married and kept it a secret. If they wanted to get married privately (but not secretly) before their big ceremony, that's fine. But unless there's some huge taboo against the two ceremonies (and I don't think there is - as others have said, tons of people do this, for religious reasons or otherwise), I'd just plain feel left out if I wasn't told very soon after the fact. Selfish, maybe, but just MHO. I'd want to be there to share the joy and support them.
I will be marrying my fiance before our actual wedding again because of immigration reasons (he's British). We have been up front and honest with friends and family and everyone has been supportive, even several family members who I was worried would react poorly. We could have gone with just a civil ceremony but it was important to us that both of our families and most of our friends be present, and that is really not a possibilty when you only have 90 days to get married after the visa comes through!
Considering the amount of tradition surrounding weddings, it's understandable that some people would consider this 'fake'. However, times have changed--when my parents were married, they didn't have the same requirements for insurance coverage, benefits, or immigration that many people today do. From what you (the OP) wrote, it seems like you are also in this boat. As one of the other posters mentioned, this is normal in some other countries--I lived in China for two years, and knew several people who were legally married but waited up to a few years after they signed the paperwork to have their celebration. Nobody that I met considered that to be weird in any way.
As for making it special, I agree, the picnic sounds like a great idea! :)
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We had two weddings because we wanted to avoid the nightmare of Italian paperwork for marrying foreigners.
We were just going to have my dad, a judge, marry us in his chambers and not think of that as the "real" wedding, but due to some twists and turns, we ended up having a little ceremony in our friends living room, with my dad officiating-- though he was the only parent there.
We now think of ourselves as having two anniversaries because each day was equally meaningful an special.
We had our engagement rings (he had one two), engraved with the 1st date and our initials and put a special phrase in Italian on the wedding bands along with the second date. I love looking at them together and thinking of out two happy days.
I would share your plans with your close friends and family and let them know that you are thrilled that they will be part of your second "real" wedding. We had some drama with FMIL when we orginally told her, but in the end she understood why we wanted to make both days special.
If you like the style, you can DIY a simple birdcage veil (see Miss Cookie's post today for info from someone that did this) to make you feel "bridey." Do get some flowers and make that bouquet the centerpiece for your post-ceremony picnic with your pooch. Don't forget your camera!
LOL-- as I was hitting "Submit", I realized I'd written "he had one two" instead of "he had one TOO". No, mr beanchar does not wear THREE rings now.... just the two bands stacked together.
Mr. JCM and I did a civil ceremony.........2 years in advance to the exact date of our "public" one.
It was for financial and immigration reasons to do it earlier.
We chose not to tell anyone but our immediate families and a few very close friends because a lot of our family is very political/drama-filled. Well, and co-workers and employers because of tax forms and stuff. We wanted to keep their mouths shut about the many things they could possibly say about us regarding our age differences, especially during the time at which we got married. We didn't want to publicly advertise that we were already married and risk having many OOT guests not want to come because it would take away from the seriousness and importance of it since we were already married.
Anyway, I say do what works best for you and your situation...If anyone gets upset, that really says something about somebody.
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I feel like there is the paperwork side of a wedding, and the celebration side of wedding. The paperwork is stuff the government cares about, and I understand that the paperwork makes us legally married - but for me, the ceremony where we gather in front of our family and friends and pledge our love and listen to some nice words by our officiant is when I will feel truly married. Going to a courthouse before hand seems like taking care of the paperwork. I wouldn't feel like anyone missed out on any part of our wedding if they were not at a courthouse ceremony prior to wedding. we may or may not do the pre-wedding courthouse option. It all depends on if my officiant truly can perform weddings in my state - I keep reading conflicting info. If we do, I doubt I would tell anyone about it (except my officiant, I guess). the celebration with my family and friends is the important event for me. If someone found out and was offended or snarky with me because they felt like my wedding was a fraud - then they can check the "regretfully decline" line on the rsvp. we are asking our guests to celebrate with us, not witness the signing of the paperwork.
We're sort of doing something like this. Since we're paying for the whole thing ourselves, we opted to have a small, family only wedding and a dinner at a nice resturant afterwards. We're then planning on having a big party - no new ceremony, though - a few months later for our friends.
The idea was poo-pooed by some friends, saying they were hurt by the fact they weren't invited and that we were leaving them out. We've stood by the fact that we want our wedding to be intimate, but I am concerned that the second reception looks like we're trolling for presents.
I don't think anyone should feel like they're trolling for presents. If anyone does feel like that, then we should all get married privately and nobody should have a big wedding. I think having a reception is merely a great time to celebrate with all of your family and friends, and they are giving you items/money to start your new life together.
My BF and I are going to do this, but this is what we are going to do:
We are going to get married very near Chrstmas Day as 1) that's our favorite holiday and time of year 2) That would be the best time to celerbrate our wedding aniversary every year (our ultamite dream special occation ~our wedding day~)(this also making it 'our special day between the two of us, and our children.)
We plan to do our wedding in the spring time so that we can save money to share our wedding/ recption with our friends and family. Having it as a special time/ special gathering ceramony. It will be that time as well, where our friends and family wish us well and wisk us off on our hunnymoon
I'm thinking as well that this takes alot of the stress off, and nervousness from the two of us as we've already done our vows together on our "special Day"
When we do this we can add something special we want to say to each other in front of our friends/ and family and we can also have our own special saying on our day to each other on our day between the two of us making it more meaningful. Both days would be special and all our friends and family are all for it, as they all know how stressfull and overwelming it is just alone for the Bride and Groom just to do all this over one weekend (or 1-2 days) and planning it for a year (or less)
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Personally I see the civil ceremony as simply a legal matter. I think it's lovely that you want to make it special . A picnic sounds great! maybe see if your favorite restaurant can help put something together. Maybe go to a doggie bakery and snag something for the dog too! However it works out congrats to both of you!
Hey! We are in the same boat. FI and I just went to the courthouse to sign the license and make an appt at the courthouse for next month. We will be having a reception later in June for extended family and friends to come and celebrate (and no, trolling for presents was not our intention for the reception; the reception is more of just a big, fun party for people to come out and celebrate). We have told some people about our plans and we did get some backlash about having this "private" ceremony. But in the end, both of our immediate families have committed to being there at the civil ceremony and that is what matters to us.
You cannot please everyone. It is just you and your fiance getting married by the judge with a witness nearby. It isn't you and your fiance and Auntie Jo's second cousin's husband's sister getting married. You know what I mean. Unless it is in your culture to do so, you have no obligation to consult with them for when you can and cannot have your ceremonies. For our civil ceremony, the room only holds up to 15 people so really, we can't just invite anyone and everyone to attend. Just because you are having a civil ceremony doesn't mean that it would have any less meaning than would than say, an elaborate church wedding either. So don't feel guilted for having something "private" like you originally wanted. And there is nothing fake about having a wedding ceremony later either. The second wedding ceremony is simply another celebration in a different manner. If you decide to keep the civil ceremony a secret, that is up to you and people should respect it no matter how they may feel otherwise.
In regards to your second question, make it special with a small birdcage veil, nice shoes (a special occasion makes the best excuse). Make reservations to go to a nice dinner afterwards and even pick up a small cake from your favorite bakery ready at the restaurant (that's what we are doing). Oh, and have someone handy to take a lot of photos. It's not all bells and whistles but you can look back at your pictures and remember what made that day special to you.
Oops sorry. I just read above that the civil marriage won't be a secret. Even better! You have nothing to hide. Just be excited that you have not one but now TWO days to celebrate and look forward to. Good luck with the rest of your planning.
As a guest I would not be offended at all that the legal marriage happened beforehand, but honestly, I would kind of feel like the second ceremony was a little fake. Unlesss the first one was earlier the same day or something.
Thanks for bringing up this topic. I actually just went to a wedding which was very small/casual. The bride and groom were married at city hall with their immediate families and had a backyard reception the next day for about 30 close friends and family. They plan to have a formal wedding in about a year. I should also note that I'm currently living in germany and that is not considered odd at all. One piece of advice I have is to get someone to take photos. I know another couple who were married privately and then went on a honeymoon and had a celebration with family later but they hired a photographer for the non-ceremoney marriage and have some amazing photos which truely captured how happy they were. This somehow made it easier for family and friends to relate to and provided them with something to look back on as there were no guests to take photos. So, find a friend who likes to take photos or hire someone but be sure to document your day for yourselves :) I don't think it's rude to want to have a private wedding and take more time to plan out a reception. Good Luck!
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My FI and I decided we want to get married before our "real" wedding in November. We are actually getting married this week at the courthouse, just the two of us. I sort of see it as having two weddings, a private one (we are private people), and a public one to share, and both are special. In Nov. we will exchange rings (not now), say our vows to everyone, and have a reception with everyone. Our anniversary date can be the Nov. date, i don't really care.
Two questions for the hive: 1. What do you think of this? I have gotten mixed reactions from our close friends and families that we have told. Most people are fine with it, some love it and a few think it will make the November wedding "fake". Has anyone else done this? (We are going through with it no matter what, it is what we want.)
Also, 2. What are your ideas to make our private ceremony special? We are going to dress up (not in wedding gowns or tuxes, but nice clothes we already have), I might buy a bouquet or corsage. I am also thinking of planning a picnic with champagne and going to a park near our house that we love. We can take our dog (who we love to an extreme amount) and have a nice day. We can't afford any mini-honeymoon or anything right now. Any thoughts on what else we can do?