Post # 1
I’m getting married in 9 days as per title. I am so incredibly happy in to be able to call FI my husband soon and am not nervous about the marriage itself in the slightest.
I know that FI think’s I’m perfect as I am. We’ve both started crossfit and loving it, eating healthily etc so that’s not an issue, but the thing is I’m not yet at my goal weight/look. I’m at peace with that myself because I know that I wil get there soon and I’m doing it slowly and in a sustainable way, but I feel like the second I walk down the aisle people are going to look at me and see a bride who isn’t perfect and hasnt worked hard enough to be “bridal perfection” on her wedding day and judge me for that.
I guess the whole planning I’ve had so many comments of “so how much weight are you losing for the wedding” or “should you really eat that your getting married in X weeks”
I feel like the fact that I’m marrying the man I love should be enough but instead so many people seem to play on your insecurities when your getting married.
I guess I dont have a question, jusr needed a vent and maybe a little bit of reassurance…
Post # 3
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Post # 4
The only thing going throgh people’s minds at the wedding is how beautiful you look. No one cares about an extra few pounds. Really. If you try to get wrapped up in this idea of perfection, you’re going to be so preoccupied on your wedding day that you just won’t enjoy it.
Spoiler alert: Something will go wrong. Not every detail will be perfectly as you planned. There is beauty in imperfection.
Post # 5
@MsChandler: I understand, there is a lot of pressure. I get it too. “Why are you drinking pop, don’t you want to loose weight?” (Pop is my only big addiction, I can’t cold turkey it yet!)
Most I think are in good intention, most wanting to help. They weren’t trying to hurt you! I found that the stress and pressure really does get to you. I seen it in other brides that I help, I now see it now in myself. We tend to carry our emotions a little higher to the surface. Hang it there. I’m super stressed too for other ways. Don’t take it personally, if it hurts, cry if you have too then get up, forgive and move on. Be the bigger person. 🙂
Post # 6
Women are so hard on themseleves all the time, but especially before they get married. DO NOT listen to those people who ask you stupid questions like that. I am sure these people are not perfect. Nobody is. If people are judging you when you walk down the isle, that is their problem and that just makes them ugly on the inside and out.
Don’t stress over this. This is a happy time for you. You will be and feel beautiful on your day and your FI will be blown away 🙂 No one else matters but you and him
Post # 7
- Wedding: September 2014 - Dallas, TX
Ugh I can’t even believe people said those kinds of things to you. You are doing the correct and healthy thing by taking it slow and sustainably losing weight and you should be so proud of that healthy mindset. I promise the ONLY thing your guests are going to be thinking is how happy and beautiful you look walking down the aisle.
Post # 8
@MsChandler: Ugh people are ridiculous. Please please do not assume that these comments mean that you aren’t at a good weight for you or that you don’t look fantastic. I’m on the skinny side but I swear to you, the general public is equally divided (and far too vocal) about what I should do about my weight for the wedding. I’ve had people say “oh you better not try to lose any weight for the wedding” and then 2 hours later someone will ask “are you dieting for the wedding?” People ask this of everyone, you could be an olympian with the body of a Greek statue and people would make these stupid comments because stupid people are unoriginal and have nothing unique to say. Time to post a photo in your wedding dress and let us go on about how drop-dead gorgeous you are (because I’m sure you are, and if your avatar photo is you then you’re stunning).
Post # 9
@MsChandler: I lost weight but not as much as I planned to for my wedding. The important thing is that I felt great – and I was 100% secure in my relationship. Dont worry about what everyone else expects or thinks – be grateful for what you have and look at the big picture – you’re getting MARRIED!
Post # 10
@MsChandler: Funny you mention this because I’ve had the same thoughts and feelings over not being seen as perfect. So I brought this up to my therapist and she laughed in my face and told me to get over it! At first, I was like, “WTH!” and then, when she explained that sooooooo many women put immeasurable stress on ourselves for ONE DAMN DAY to fit in a dress we will wear for ONE DAMN DAY is the most ridiculous thing EVER!
So after I had a chance to think about it, I piped up that if FH and I decided to get married that very day, I’d be happy with who I am. Am I perfect? NO! I’m not going to be perfect when I lose another 70lbs either. To put this much stress on ourselves is crazy. I buy into what my therapist said and decided that I’m going to try to enjoy the process of getting healthy more than I’m going to beat myself up for not being perfect, slipping up, missing a work out, etc.
I hope you have a fabulous wedding day. All eyes will be on you with only love and joy for you on their brains… nothing else.
ETA: Should someone criticize me about my weight, I hope I have the courage to go BRIDEZILLA on their ass. Fuckers.
Post # 11
I just wanted to say thank you to all of you! It was so nice to get up in the morning and read all of your comments. You’ve all reminded me to focus on what the day is about- me and FI and I’m TRYING to just embrace and accept my imperfections 🙂
@abbie017: Thank you, your right, funnily enough I am 100% ready for something to go wrong, I’ve figured we can laugh most of it off, but I am just insecure when it comes to myself I guess!
@Jacquelinesc84: Your comepletly right, it’s always people who I know mean well and love me, but I think I am stressed and being over sensitive. Or maybe because I love them, their opinion actually matters more to me?
@kimmo416: Thank you! Even though I know it’s the right way to do it, it’s kinda nice to hear someone else say it too!
@jennmariee: Oh you poor thing, I amazes me how people think when your getting married they can comment on your body all of a sudden! Weddings and pregnancy seem to make people throw all manners out the window! The avatar is me! Thanks 🙂 Here are photos…I had straps added recently though..
@LilRhodyGem: I hope you do bridezilla out! I honestly wish I had of in so many occasions. I think I had a rant to one poor shop assistant which was something along the lines of “no, I’m not going to lose any weight (even though I was…) Fi loves me for me and thinks Im perfect even though I dont fit into the impossible ideals of society!” But the ones I regret not having are to family members who have probably said the most judgemental things.
Post # 12
@MsChandler: honey you will be fine. no one cares about weight on your wedding day. you will be beautiful, you will be too preoccupied noticing the expression on your husbands face when you are walking down the aisle to notice anyones possible negative reactions (not that there will be any, there WON’T BE)and I guarantee you that he will look at you like a Queen.
just breathe, everything will be fine. no one is gonna be talking about that last 10 pounds you didnt lose. trust me. a wedding is a celebration !!! dont let this get in the way of you enjoying it !
Post # 13
@MsChandler: I love the colours in your dress! Sigh, so pretty.
Post # 14
@MsChandler: ooooooooh I love your dress!!! you look great girl
Post # 15
@Lollybags: Thank you ! its more towards the first photo, although I have to admit the second one made me wish I had bought a blush dress!
@mckey430: You’re right! I just need to breathe!
@beeberry: Thanks, I’m so stoked with how the straps turned out
Post # 16
@MsChandler: DUDE, you have no weight to lose, and you look killer in your dress (which is gorgeous by the way).