(Closed) Getting married in Tokyo, Japan

posted 5 years ago in Intercultural
Post # 3
Member
1784 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Welcome to the Bee!  I’m an American living in Japan too.  It seems like most weddings here are either a Japanese ceremony at a shrine or a big white wedding at a hotel (or a combination on both with a second reception too).  My fiance said getting married here would be “めんどくさい,” so we’re having our wedding in Hawaii with just family.

Post # 4
Member
2124 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Baby #2 due Sep 2017

@seaoftwilight

@seaoftwilight Yay! Someone else!! I’m British caucasian getting married to my Japanese fiance next year in Osaka (where his family lives) but we met and lived in Tokyo for 3 years. We’re now in Vietnam for his job temporarily. We’re going for a shinto style wedding at a shrine because his family is very traditional and I’ll get to wear the beautiful shiromuku white kimono!!! 🙂

I too feel that the Japanese wedding industry takes advantage of the gift money tradition by hiking prices ridiculously, but remember that your Japanese guests will be more than happy to pay their own way.. some couples actually make a profit from their Japanese wedding!!! As for us though, having friends and family come from overseas will really hike our prices 🙁

Of course Hawaii is a super-popular destnation wedding and I hear they have very affordable packages. I don’t know what to say about your dream vintage garden theme though.. maybe your fiance can help search on the internet?

Post # 5
Member
2124 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Baby #2 due Sep 2017

@Jabberwocky:  I have to say though, I don’t think it’s mendokusai to marry in Japan at all (unless he’s referring to the sheer number of guests who’ll end up coming to the reception)! I am so relieved with how much they take care of planning for you!! You basically pick your venue and the decorations, flowers, menu, even the dress is all sorted (you just pick and choose from their sets). Actually I’m really glad to be getting married in Japan… the posts here of the US brides’ stress over such specifics as napkin colours and ordering chairs would be just too much for me and totally めんどくさい!

 

Post # 6
Member
1784 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@MrsYoshida:  Lol, I think it was the sheer number of people we’d have to invite, plus the number of ceremonies and receptions that got it the めんどくさい label. We found a wedding planner to take care of all the stuff in Hawaii for us and she’s been awesome so far. 

Post # 7
Member
5894 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

@seaoftwilight:  I’m half Japanese and have been to Japanese weddings. Just be aware that it is much more ritualized than in the US. Every little thing has double (triple) meaning. There wont be an American style reception with people cutting lose and dancing. 

 

@MrsYoshida:  I’ve never heard of people making money on their weddings. Most of my relatives lost money. It’s not just the reception you have to pay for, but the arigato presents you have to give. In the early 80’s my Uncle got married. Instead of just sending a Thank you card, like they do here, he had to send a $100-$150 gift to us. (If I remember correctly it was a box of gourmet soup, that we never ate) Granted, we are family, so we got the more expensive gift, but still…

 

As much as I love the tradition (and gorgeous kimonos) of a Japanese ceremony. There is one reason I wouldn’t want to have my wedding there–photos. When I visited  recently, I showed my family my photo albums. They were blown away at how beautiful they were documenting the whole day. My cousin had some beautiful photos, but they were all formal, photo studio portraits of the family/couple. I think she was a little jealous of me. I would get married in Hawaii and have formal portraits done in Japan.

 

Post # 8
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I live here, but FI and I won’t get married here, but a few friends have (he’s American, I’m kiwi)

Ive also had a fair number of friends elope. I know it was really expensive for my friends here, but less planning stress.

 

Post # 9
Member
2124 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Baby #2 due Sep 2017

@KoiKove:  Thanks for the heads up as photos are very important to me. I’m hoping my best friend who runs her own photography business in the UK will be my photographer, and I’m sure she’ll do a great job of documenting the day. Of course FI’s family will insist on the formal portraits too, but I will make sure not to miss out on the fun photos!!!

Post # 10
Member
20 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I am an American living in Japan too- I am having two weddings- one in Kyoto and one in Florida. 

For me, planning the Japanese wedding has been a breeze. They basically plan themselves since everything is already so structured. Most places will provide the invitations, gifts, flowers, and most other things. The most couples usually have to do is choose the background music for the reception and organize the RSVPs. . 

IMO, if you want something personal, individual, and that has a few touches of DIY have a wedding in America. If you want a wedding with minimal planning  and less control, have it in Japan.  I am sure everyone has had their own different experiences though. 

I super agree with everyone else about photography- Japan’s wedding photography can’t hold a candle to the west. I am really glad that at least one of mu weddings will have great photography. 

Post # 12
Member
2124 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Baby #2 due Sep 2017

@seaoftwilight:  We’re going for the most expensive shrine in Osaka so we’re looking at about 20,000 yen per person (so $200) which includes all invitations, decorations, dress rental etc and the ceremony and 2 hour reception with all trimmings. Not including any afterparty.

I agree with what CiciJapan said, if you want a smaller more tailored wedding you should go for America, but if you want a more stress-free ‘set wedding’ which many of your friends can attend, then Japan is for you.

Post # 13
Member
20 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@seaoftwilight:  most weddings (which would include ceremony and reception are about 2, 500,000 yen (25,000 dollars roughly.) This was the case for the nicest hotel in Kyoto and a mid level ceremony hall. It seemed like wherever I went this was the case. I do live in the Kansai area which might be cheaper than Tokyo though. 

 

 

 

Post # 14
Member
4660 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Ahh! It’s always kind of a relief to see other east asia expats. FH and I are both American though, so we’re playing the “plan a wedding from the other side of the world” (and then fly 14 hours each way to attend our own stinking wedding) game. 

 

I wanted to elope in Thailand, but noooo. ;D

Post # 15
Member
12 posts
Newbee

@seaoftwilight:  Hi! I know that this thread is a bit old but I was wondering what you’ve decided on or if you’ve had any progress? I want a small garden wedding but cannot seem to find any venues in Tokyo!

 

Post # 16
Member
528 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - Maui

I’m interested in this topic too. My Japanese boyfriend and I live in Sapporo and will probably get married here. It seems like all weddings are either Shinto or fake church ceremonies and neither is our thing. I like outdoor weddings but they seem pretty unheard of.

 

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