Post # 1
SO and I aren’t engaged yet – we’re waiting until late summer/early fall for that (getting a few ducks lined up beforehand so we’ll be able to start wedding planning right away), but we’re already discussing wedding plans and both of us like October 2014. I was looking at a 2014 calendar today and got excited because the 18th is a Saturday that year and that’s the day before the anniversary of our first date.
However, I also realized that the 18th is the wedding anniversary of a good friend who will likely be asked to be in the wedding. She’s not generally a possessive person, but idk if that’s a gigantic no-no – or should I just bring it up to her and see how she’d feel about us sharing an anniversary?
It’d be her 6th anniversary if we did October 18, 2014, so it’s not like I’d be stepping too closely on her toes so far as when her wedding happened.
I mean, we could always go with another date in October, but I’m sure most bees know what I mean when I say that date just screams out at me as “the one”.
Post # 3
I wouldn’t mind at all, especially if it’s on her 6th. If it were my first anniversary I would be a little sad because I would want to celebrate with my husband but after six years I wouldn’t mind at all. It would be kind of cool to celebrate with a new couple coming together!
Post # 4
Maybe mention it to her (with the tie-in to your first date) to be sure if you REALLY care about her opinion, but I really don’t think it should matter. I just had a good friend get married 2 weeks after our anniversary, and when they were looking for dates I wouldn’t have cared at all if they picked the same weekend as us. Mostly I just thought– awesome our anniversaries are close we can all go celebrate together some years!
Post # 5
I don’t think it should be an issue. My brother and his FI are getting married on my aunt and uncle’s wedding anniversary. Honestly, there are only so many days in a year and it would be really hard to find one that isn’t a significant day for someone else.
Post # 6
My best friend/MOH’s wedding date was 8 days before the date I chose. I would never have picked her exact date.
Oh, & she was married 5 years already. But I still say it is a no-no to pick someone’s exact date unless literally there is no other date that month that’d work for you.
Post # 7
I don’t think it is too big of a deal. But to be respectful, I would run it by her before you officially set the date.
Post # 8
It wouldn’t bother me, but I agree with just asking before you finalize the date. I think it would be pretty petty of someone to say no to that though.
Post # 9
I wouldn’t mind at all! In fact, I think that’d be awesome if my friends shared an anni date with me. I wouldn’t worry about it, but if you do you could always just mention it to her and see what she thinks. 🙂
Post # 10
I really think it depends on the person. You need to ask her whether she will be okay with it. I wouldn’t mind it at all because I don’t own the day just because I got married on that day years ago. Some ladies might though.
Post # 11
I don’t see why this is a no-no. There are only so many weekends in a year and just because someone has the same anniversary date does not mean they OWN that date. The weekend we are getting married will be the same weekend my parents got married and the same weekend my best friend (and bridesmaid) got married a few years ago. If the date means something to you, then do it!
Post # 12
I honestly don’t think its a big deal at all. If she were getting married that day, thats a different story. But why would someone care that you have the same anniversary?? Kind of silly IMO. I’d run it past her just to be sure, but I can’t imagine someone being opposed to that
Post # 13
@Birdee106: We’ve been close friends for 16 years so it would be really fun to share a wedding anniversary.
@RunsWithBears: Good point re: only so many days in a year. And the other two weekends in October that year are OTHER friends’ wedding anniversaries (though neither of those couples are as close friends).
Thanks everyone, you all kinda echoed my own thoughts back to me – I mostly was afraid there was some gigantic unspoken (or spoken) etiquette rule that I didn’t know about with choosing dates.
We’ve been meaning to have a Skype date so I can see how big her adorable little girl is (4 months today!), I’ll bring it up as a possibility then and suss out how she feels. If she’s really against it, no big deal 🙂
Post # 14
@MissCalifornia: I also do not think it is a big deal at all. However, make sure if you ask that you are genuinely open to the answer. Sometimes people ask to be nice but they already have their mind made up. If the date is really important to you and you can’t see yourself having another wedding date, I’m sure your friend will understand that. I still think it’d be good to talk to your friend about it, but be honest about your commitment and relationship to that date. As several others said, most people would probably find that pretty neat to share an anniversary date with a close friend.
Post # 15
I don’t think it’s an issue. She can’t own the day for years after her own wedding.
Post # 16
If it were me, I wouldn’t mind in the slightest! I think it’d be rather fun to share an anniversary, and if it were a very close friend, I would be happy to celebrate our anniversaries together some years.
My parents are friends with this other couple and while they didn’t know each other when they got married, it turns out they actually got married on the same day, in the same year, had the same colours for their weddings and now have the same number of kids! They did a joint 25th anniversary bash and had a whale of a time.