- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
I’d really appreciate some advice here. I’m getting married this Saturday and am so excited to start my new life with FI! His family and mine are both really excited and have been so supportive of us — except for our FSIL. She’s not FI’s sister, but is engaged to FI’s brother. They’re getting married next summer.
There has always been lots of drama with her, which I won’t go into here. If you’re interested, you can read some of the back story here: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/not-sure-whether-to-ask-my-fsil-to-be-a-bridesmaid
Basically, she feel like she’s not part of the family anymore because she’s not a bridesmaid and we’re getting married first. She’s a hairdresser and I asked her to do my hair for the wedding as a way to include her, but she agreed and then backed out. We’ve let her know we want her to be in family pictures if she wants.
When she gets upset or feels left out, she pouts in a corner or fakes illness so she can leave. She expects FI’s brother (the best man) to chase after her, which he usually does.
We all know this about her and had resolved to just enjoy the day and let her act however she’s going to act — her problem, not ours. Well, yesterday she got upset because FI was going to get his hair cut at a different salon. Hers is about 20 miles away in a different town, and he didn’t want to drive all the way out there for a hair cut. She started crying and FI’s brother called and begged FI to let her cut his hair. FI got really upset with this because he didn’t want to be inconvenienced by driving to her salon but also didn’t want to make things hard on his brother. He ended up giving in a bit, and she’s going to come to our house and cut his hair.
The whole hair cutting drama is dumb and not that big of a deal, but this stuff happens all the time. FI is so stressed out about it and so am I. FI’s entire family makes concessions to FSIL’s moods and I’m worried no one will enjoy the wedding because they’re all worried about babysitting her. I’m worried FI’s brother will leave if FSIL “gets sick” at the reception. FMIL wants to get ready with me and the bridesmaids, but doesn’t want to bring FSIL around because she knows it’s stressful. So now she’s just going to get ready alone to avoid drama.
I know this is a deeper issue and can’t be solved in the three days before the wedding, but any tips for just letting it go in order to enjoy our day? I try not to let it upset me because we have so much love in our lives, but it really bothers me.
I also hate that I’m in a position where I feel I have to “survive” our wedding day. I want to enjoy it, not just survive!
Any advice, ladies? Sorry so long!!!