Getting Married Twice?

posted 3 years ago in Beehive
Post # 2
Member
599 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

FI’s sister did something similar, for legal reasons though. She’s from Nicaragua, and was living with (and planning to move to) Puerto Rico with her FI. She had a legal ceremony there, small, with only her parents and one brother and family who lived in Puerto Rico, so that her wedding would be legal in the US without having to take papers and prove it and everything. Then, a few weeks later, her and her FI had a catholic wedding here in a church with family and friends and everyone. So no, you’re not crazy. Just have your wedding/s however you want to!

Post # 3
Member
42490 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

DaniDev143:  Many couples marry ahead of the reception for various  reasons. Just be prepared for some people to be upset if they find out that you are already married and feel like they have been deceived.

Post # 4
Member
1590 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I’ve heard of the opposite, where people do the legal one first out of necessity, then have a catholic ceremony & big reception after some time. As a guest, I’m happy whever I don’t have to deal with the Catholic gap!

Post # 5
Member
588 posts
Busy bee

I would do the legal marriage (at your gorgeous sounding venue) first and the Catholic ceremony after. That’s what I’ve seen done before.

Post # 7
Member
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

DaniDev143:  Do you know what date you would consider your anniversary? What will your guests know? I think you owe the honesty to your guests. I don’t think it’s crazy to have two ceremonies as long as you are honest. My cousin (Jewish) married a man (Hindu) so they had two ceremonies, each for their two religions. And we all knew about it and we were on board. Could you do both ceremonies in one day? I can see why people might find that a little weird, but my cousin did it! I would be happy to tell you more about how they made that work. We thought it was awesome! You could call it your Catholic ceremony and your American ceremony (I am assuming you are American)

ETA: They’re wedding was SOOOO fun it was like it went on and on all day! 

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by  nawella.
Post # 8
Member
5012 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

DaniDev143:  We are attending a wedding in May….the couple is already married! They married back in December because the bride wanted to get married in a catholic church as it had always been her mom’s (who passed away) dream for her. I’m not exactly sure why they didnt just get married at the church on the day of, but maybe theres not one close by to their venue?

Also my cousin was married about 6 months before their actual wedding date due to health insurance reasons. 

I think its more common than you think! People just don’t tell. 

Post # 9
Member
588 posts
Busy bee

DaniDev143:  Any chance you could do them in the same day? A quickie at the Catholic church in the morning with just your family and then the afternoon/evening wedding?

Post # 10
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I think you should try to do it the same day, that way guests are actually coming to an event on your wedding day. I think you can get away with nit disclosing this info to your guests same-day. But if you get married a week beforehand, prepare for a lot of hurt feelings when it comes out

Post # 11
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

People do this all the time, so you are not unique. Lie about not being married in order to have a picture perfect day.

Post # 12
Member
7664 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

I’ve had friends do this for legal reasons… they could not get a marriage license to marry in a church (the UK is odd in that the legal requirements for marriage vary depending on which religious affiliation you belong to), so they had a civil ceremony separately.

All I would say is… just be honest about the whole thing. You have nothing to be ashamed of, so admit the problem to your guests.

Post # 14
Member
3693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Who is going to perform the second ceremony? A lot of officiants aren’t okay with doing the full marriage ceremony for a couple who are already married.

Post # 15
Member
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

DaniDev143:  The fact that you are doing your church wedding to be with the mass I think would be more understandable for your guests. You could even spin it this way: you didn’t want to inconvenienve anyone by having a Sunday wedding so you did the Catholic wedding the Sunday before (to make mom happy or you happy, however you want to say it) and then you are inviting everyone for your civil wedding the following Saturday. Maybe there is a creative way to word this… Here’s some inspiration that sort of relates to your situation and could loosely inspire you:

http://offbeatbride.com/2014/03/already-married-invitations

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