(Closed) Getting married within 3 weeks of my best friend?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
9057 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think it could go either way.  Hopefully if you’re true friends it will be an experience that will bring you even closer, bonding over your weddings. 

Unfortunately sometimes weddings bring emotions to a boiling point. 

I wouldn’t worry about it until you’re officially engaged, and trying to figure out a wedding date, but I wish you both luck!

 

Post # 4
Member
9057 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Oh, I think it will also depend on how much you expect of eachother.  If I had to be maid of honour in a wedding three weeks after mine, I would have been on my honeymoon after the wedding and really busy with my own right before.  That’s a couple weeks that you probably won’t be super helpful at all. 

Also I found that I kind of went into wedding overload after our wedding and didn’t want to even think about them.  That wouldn’t have been good if one of my best friends was expecting me to be there for her, and excited about her wedding.  Although for a friend I’m sure I would have sucked it up.

Post # 5
Member
1585 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think it’d be fun! If you’re true friends, there will be no competition, and instead it’ll be one massive party!

 

I have cousins that got married close to each other. Week 1 was their parents 25th anniversary, week 2 was cousin #1’s wedding, week 3 was cousin #2’s wedding. It was literally, a non stop party for 3 weeks.

Post # 7
Member
461 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Just make sure you watch Bride Wars together so you know what NOT to do. 🙂 

 

GOOD LUCK! 

Post # 8
Member
1020 posts
Bumble bee

my wedding date is 3 weeks after my friend’s and we were each other’s bridesmaid.

we were lucky that our styles for things were completely different: i wanted trumpet/mermaid dresses, she wanted a-line. i wanted a vintage theme, she wanted a modern theme. i’m into DYI, she is not. so, we were able to shop for dresses together, exchange ideas on decorations..etc.

HOWEVER, i wouldnt’ say there were absolutely no competition. our wedding days were very important to us, so it’s just natural that we wanted the BEST for our own weddings. i think it’s human nature.

i guess if your vision of your wedding is very similar to hers, then, don’t do it, because she’d easily think that you copied her idea(s). but if the visions are pretty different, you can give it a try.

Post # 9
Member
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

A good friend of mine got engaged right after me and her wedding is a month before mine and I couldnt be happier! It was amazing to have someone going thru the same things I was and we were able to help each other so much with all the planning.

Post # 10
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I had a slight issue here too. Two of my high school friends got engaged about 2 months before us and picked out their date. B/c my fiance’s a band teacher, his summer is only about 2 months long (minus prep time so really only 4-5 potential weekends for the wedding.) They chose a weekend towards the middle of that time span. Our wedding is going to be two weeks after their’s but we are SO entirely different I don’t think there will be any comparison. We share ideas and chat up wedding stuff together and it’s very nice- we aren’t in each others wedding parties though. I’d say talk to that couple first, but wait until you are engaged, and if you’re really good friends, they’ll understand (and be excited for you!)

Post # 11
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I would just try and manuever my date into a longer school break. It just avoids so many potential problems. Not that you guys are definitely going to have issues, but take a looks at some threads here and see what you might possibly be dealing with.

My best friend and I are getting married within two months of each other. Even though I love her dearly and she is a truly wonderful friend, there are definitely moments where there is competition or timing/money issues and I want to strangle her.

My reason for keeping my date was because of school also, but I recommend getting as much planning done beforehand and getting married during the school year. You have plenty of time.

Post # 12
Member
188 posts
Blushing bee

My two best friends are getting married less than two weeks apart this summer. No big deal! We are considering a joint bachelorette party! 

Post # 13
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

It could be great.  It could be awful.  It depends on what you would expect from each other.  If you only expect the other to show up and not help so much with the planning it could be great.  I suppose the two of you could actually shop and plan together and kill two birds with one stone.  However, if your ideas are far apart and your strategies for planning are far apart  (ie:  you’re a decision maker and make up your mind rather quickly but she wants to visit a million bridal salons and still can’t make up her mind), and yours and her expectations for what a MOH is supposed to do to the assist the bride requires a lot of time and effert, it could be bad.

I say, you have your wedding when you want to have your wedding.  Don’t pick a date based on your friend’s date, but keep in mind the expections, planning style, and available time of yourself and your friend. 

Post # 14
Member
284 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I agree, I think it could go either way–my BFF of almost 20 years and I are doing something similar…my wedding is in October, hers in January. I know it’s not 3 weeks apart, but with my honeymoon, Thanksgiving, Christmas & New Years–it drastically cuts down the amount of “workable” time between the two. I should also mention that throughout the duration of my wedding planning, I have taken a new job, been working on a specialty certification (which took me out of state for a month), am building a new home (also out of state), and will be starting my masters in June! My BFF who lives out of state is also in her masters program and she is a teacher. I am her MOH and she is mine. We have been uber close for the majority of our lives and can pretty much say anything to each other. My advice after living through all of this: plan early and plan hard! We both got engaged within 3 months of each other (haha, me in October and her in January) and hit the ground running. By the time she was engaged, we had already worked out the venue, the church, the cake, the photographer, ordered my wedding gown, the bridal party and the guest list. She checked off things on her list equally as fast. We also both have very involved mothers, so things that we can’t use each other for, we use mom’s.

 

I think it all depends on the relationship you have with your BFF…there have def been points of tension, and things that we didn’t agree with, but it’s how you handle those points, and how you recover from those.

Post # 15
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

I think it could be fine as long as you two dont try to have any competition.

Post # 16
Member
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I have seen this situation before and I would ok it with the other bride as to whether she is ok with you getting married before her. Wedding emotions can run high and I saw two friends destroy their friendship because one girl who got engaged after another picked a wedding date 3 weeks before the other girl. Even other people who I know that are engaged are very hush hush when it comes to their wedding details when talking to me even though I am open about mine. I guess because mine is first they think I will copy. But I have a friend who just got married 4 months before me and we literally used all the same vendors etc that I had found ( she got engaged a few months after me) and I am ok with it. It’s flattery.

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