Getting married within a year…?

posted 3 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 2
Member
1216 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

MeghanFly:  I don’t think it’s really anyones place but hers to worry about how soon she gets married. They are the only ones who knows what her relationship means and what they are ready for. HOWEVER I agree with you that the money thing seems to be a big issue. That is an insane amount of money to spend on a wedding if you aren’t in a position to do so, and to just invite everyone you know on facebook doesn’t show very much planning or thought.

Post # 3
Member
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Totally get why you are (justifiably) concerned but typically in situations like this nothing you say will change their minds. We can’t protect our family and friends from every bad situation out there as much as we would like to. Having said that, hopefully it does turn out well for her. Getting married to someone that quickly would not be my choice (or recommendation) but undoubtedly it has worked for some couples.

Post # 4
Member
601 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

My fiance told me at 2 months that he was going to marry me & I always just laughed at him & said okay. He proposed at 11 months. We’ve been together almost 5 years now & he still makes me just as happy as he did in the beginning. If they’re happy then that’s all that matters.

Post # 5
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

MeghanFly:  the debt is worrisome, but my parents met and married in four months when my was 19 and dad was 23 and they just celebrated 35 years. Length of time together doesn’t guarantee a thing. 

Post # 6
Member
2132 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

It is sweet that you worry about her, but she is old enough to make her own decisions.  I was engaged after knowing my fiance for just 11 months.  We are almost done with our 18 month engagement though, and while it seemed long, I’m grateful for it.  Even though I loved him and couldn’t imagine my life without him when we got engaged, I’m so much closer to him now and so confident that he is the right man for me.  I know your cousin’s timeline was even faster, but every relationship takes its own speed and you can’t really judge it without knowing that much about it.  

The debt is really more worrisome.  It is her choice how she uses the 24k since that is money she has, but 30k is more like debt for a really good college education… not a one day wedding.  And a budget of 54k with no dinner is honestly just confusing and ridiculous.  

Post # 7
Member
245 posts
Helper bee

It is good that you’re looking out for her but really, at 26 she is more than old enough to make her own choices. It doesn’t sound like you really know her FI, so shouldn’t be so judgemental about their relationship. I moved in with my FI after 3 months of dating, and we’ve been together 7 years now and getting married in 3 months, so time really doesn’t have anything to do with it when you meet the one, that being said it all sounds a little strange, 500 facebook guests?! and a 54k budget, and still expecting her parents to pay for the meal!?

Post # 8
Member
148 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - county fairgrounds

Length of time has nothing to do with the quality of the relationship. I was engaged before this time. We had been together a year and a half got engaged and were engaged for another year and a half and long story short aren’t engaged anymore. I’m currently engaged to a guy who our first date was april 20 and got engaged the same year in September and are getting married this September and I never realized how wonderful a relationship/ man could be. He would move mountains for me as I would forhim. 

Now the money thing thats a bit worrisome. My wedding costs no more than $2500 for everything for 150 people. But over $50000 That’s a lot of debt to start a marriage off with. to each their own but she may regret that decision down the road but who knows

Post # 9
Member
5839 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

MeghanFly:  How do you spend $54,000 and not serve a meal? Is she buying everyone heroin and a hooker?

Post # 10
Member
2566 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Bases on your story, it sounds like you’re completely justified for feeling this way. However, she’s going to do what she wants. Sometimes you just have to be as supportive as you feel you can and let people make their own mistakes. It also sounds like she’s not emotionally mature enough to make these decisions (ranting on FB), but she is an adult and she’s going to go with what she thinks is right.

Post # 11
Member
2566 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Oh wow. I really didn’t realize how old this post was. How was the wedding?!

Post # 12
Member
8035 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

KoiKove:  lolol I was wondering that too! Where the hell is all this money going?! 

Your cousin is definitely being an idiot- with the money and the hasty marriage but whatareyougonnado? Nothing. She wont listen to you so I would just show up, enjoy the party and wish her the best! 

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