- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2015
Hi guys, I am going crazy over here thinking about all of the what-ifs… I am a totally neurotic person to start with, and this situation is not helping!My boyfriend and I had the timeline conversation, he wants to get married “within the next two years”, and we’re looking at becoming engaged sometime in the next year. I have this gut feeling that it will at least be in the next 9 months (aside from the holidays, our 3 year anniversary will be in June), but then again that could just be wishful thinking.
What do I do with myself!? I have read this “just keep busy, focus on you” advice, and I’m not concerned with putting my life on hold waiting for this. It’s just the constant “is this it?” feeling. Will I have to wonder for the next year every time a holiday comes up or an important date or a weekend away happens whether this is going to be the day? What if the 3 year anniversary comes and goes and I’m still not at the end of the year that my SO told me it would happen within? He gave me this timeline voluntarily; there was no ultimatum, and this was not my timeline, so it’s not like I’ll be mad if it happens at the end of this year window and not the beginning, but I know I get too wrapped up in my head sometime, and it’s that anticipation that is getting to me.
I mentioned to my SO that I wanted to ask my dad if I could use my mom’s wedding set for when I eventually get engaged, and my SO told me that was fine if I wanted to do that, but that he wanted me to know he had a family ring he had been planning on giving me. If it’s not in the home right now, then it is five minutes away at his parents’ house. A few days later, he ended up getting me to tell him my expectations about talking to my dad about marrying me (SO SNEAKY I can’t even remember who brought the topic up, but I do know even if I was the one who mentioned it, he’s the one who steered it towards my thoughts on the matter), and while he has declared his intentions to my dad, I know he hasn’t had a “I’m planning on proposing” conversation with him. So, logistically, that conversation probably couldn’t happen until Thanksgiving, so I don’t expect anything to happen before then. However, my SO and I are taking a trip to Disneyland with his parents at the end of November, and I can’t help but wondering if it will happen then. But then again, he only divulged his timeline to me because I asked if he had one a couple of weeks back… So I wonder if I am looking for things to be sooner rather than later without just cause to. But on the other hand, he did say he saw us getting married within two years, and that he knew it would take about a year to plan a wedding. Lately I have been letting him know that having a bit more time than a year wouldn’t be a terrible thing and he seems unconcerned. Could this be because he knows we can stick to our “two yeasr from now” goal and have plenty of time after an official engagement? On the OTHER other hand, he said the thing that had kept him from proposing before now was our combined financial situation, and that hasn’t changed a whole lot in the two weeks since we talked about our timeline.
Haha, can you tell I have a bunch of thoughts bouncing around in my head? I guess I’m just wondering what other Bees do to stay sane, and it would be great if anyone has some perspective on this situation. Did you end up waiting for the end of the proposal window your SO gave you, if he gave you one? It totally does not help that I work at a bridal gown shop as a sales consultant, so I spend all day long around engaged customers, asking them about their fiances, wedding plans, etc… It’s very hard not to be curious about what my engagement will look like and when it will happen, although I should be clear that I’m not resentful/ angry that I am waiting. If it happened tomorrow I’d be happy, but a bit nostalgic that this pre-engagement excitement was already gone. The only negative waiting “symptom” I’m experiencing now is distraction!