Getting my FI to pick his groomsmen.

posted 3 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014


Absolutely, you don’t NEED groomsmen. 

But, I think men are just different, plus bridesmaids usually spend more money and thus need as much time as possible to plan ahead financially (I know as a bridesmaid I always appreciated as much advance notice as possible).  The guys basically just need to get a tux, so maybe your FI doesn’t think it’s a big deal to do it yet, esp. since you do have almost a year until your wedding day. 

Even though our wedding is a year away, I have asked all of my 6 bridesmaids already.  My FI has not even approached his BROTHER yet, and I’m worried the poor guy might think he’s being excluded…but FI insists it’s no big deal to wait a bit longer and that guys just function differently with this sort of thing.

Post # 4
3249 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@jbbs1222:  Why do there have to be the same number?  Why does he have to pick guys to stand up for him on his wedding day, just for the sake of symmetry?  If he doesn’t have a lot of guy friends, maybe he doesn’t have that many guys he actualy wants to have with him at the altar.


And why is he being “told” how many he should have?  You should certainly tell him what your preferences are, and how you want things to look, but he’s being told (1) there HAVE to be the same number AND (2) that number is four.  I would ask him who he’s thinking of.  Maybe he can’t think of four guys that are close enough friends, and he’s in a position where he either picks guys he doesn’t really want, or he makes his bride unhappy.  That’s not a nice position to be in.

As for the processional, I have a best man and two groomsmen.  There will be a maid of honour, and up to four bridesmaids.  All of the groomsmen, and the ring bearer, are entering with me, and all of the bridesmaids are entering together before the folower girl.

Post # 5
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I started a post a few months back with the same dilemma!  Expect FI just couldn’t decide if he was going to ask anyone or not (not however many I told him).  If you are okay with uneven sides, then go with what he’s got and let the ladies all walk down by themselves.  Only pick the people you want to have as your wedding party, not because you have to fill spots.  No one will care if sides are uneven in the end.  We each only ended up with one person, but it was easier and less stressful for us.

Post # 7
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You have plenty of time!  You don’t need even sides.  And tux measurements don’t need to be in until 3-4 weeks before the wedding. Relax!

Leave a comment

Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors