Post # 1
Long, long ago in a land far, far away FI and I decided to make everything about our wedding convenient to our 99% OOT guests. The reception is in a hotel ballroom where our guests can spend the night, the ceremony is right next door in a church literally connected to the hotel.
We also gave up the romantic idea of waiting until the ceremony to see each other so we wouldn’t have a gap and could start later, allowing our OOT guests to travel to Philly on the actual wedding day. Our plan is to do a first look at around 1:30/2:00 then go around town with our wedding party and parents in an air conditioned party bus, getting pictures out of the way. We would get back at around 4:00pm, get touchups for our 5:00 ceremony.
Well. Everyone seemed on board with this plan (sounds fun, right??) until recently. Turns out, after telling me she was totally into it, FMIL told FI in private that she doesn’t like the idea at all and doesn’t want to get ‘rumpled’ before the ceremony. So basically, a little diva-esque. Then this is the worst part. Of course FI started to agree with her!! Now he’s suddenly worried about getting sweaty/gross before the ceremony and/or becoming ‘rumpled’. I just sighed b/c obviously it wasn’t easy to make this decision and I’m worried about all this stuff too! But we made the plan a long time ago and cancelling it now would be just awful and a lot less special.
I mean, I know it’s a lot to do in 1 day, but it’s our wedding day!! Am I crazy??
Post # 3
But you built in an hour to touch up! If you did it the other way around, with a gap, people will be complaining about that. People will complain no matter what you do.
I think you’ll be fine, our day is much longer than yours. You could try building in an extra half hour of refreshening to assauge some of their fears. Try to present the pros and cons to them of early pictures versus gap. That worked with mine.
Post # 4
Everyone I’ve seen do something similar to your plan has 100% appreciated the fact that they left all that time to do things with their families. That’s so awesome that you are leaving so much time for pictures, because it means you will have awesome, relaxed pictures. Good luck!
Post # 5
That sounds like a great plan! We are doing the groom’s side and my side seperately beforehand, then after the ceremony we will do our together pictures really quick. Then later on down the road we will do a “trash the dress” session were we take more daring and artistic pictures.
We have a cocktail hour going on during our picture session though, so the guests should be happy. Good luck!
Post # 6
I like your plan and we are doing something similar. We have planned in time after pictures for people to relax, sip a cocktail and re-group. It sounds like you did too. Maybe you could make it really, really clear to them that they will have time to freshen up? Also, I don’t know if this is possible for you, but our venue has a steamer that we will have available to everyone if they get a little wrinkled during pictures. We plan on having a few robes available in our room where we are waiting for the ceremony to start so people can throw on a robe, steam out dress or jackets and look totally fresh for the ceremony.
Another idea to make her more comfortable might be making her a little kit, similar to people’s bathroom baskets that has some “freshening up” things in it. I think sometimes, if you just show someone that you are hearing what they are concerned about and trying to address it, they shut up, er, I mean get on board!
Post # 7
Think of it this way- This is the one day you’ll have to get all of those amazing pictures that you want. If that means going out to a few different places and taking bunches of pictures, I say go for it! You won’t get to redo it. Plus you have that extra hour to get “refreshed”, so I would think you’d be ok! Go for it! :]
Post # 8
Stand up on this one. I think you will be glad you did.
My one suggestion to keep the peace is to bring or buy a clothing steamer (if you don’t own one, BEST THING EVER). Just have it at the tocuk up location so people can give their clothing a quick shot to take out “rumples.”
Post # 9
My husband and I took pictures outside in the high winds and I barely needed any touch ups before the ceremony. Unless you plan on rolling in the dirt, there is nothing she needs to worry about. As for the first look, DO IT! It is a great time to be alone with your future husband (you won’t have time for it later) and the walk is still super special!
Post # 10
oh geez. Diva moment for sure!!
I say until she says something to you about it, don’t worry and keep on keepin’ on. Even if she does, assure her you’ll have touch up hairspray and powder on hand if she needs it. Besides, wouldn’t she want to do pictures right away sooner after she has gotten ready anyway?
haha you could be like “that’s exactly why we wanted to get the pictures done while everyone is most fresh! I’m so glad you’re concerned about that too” hahah
Post # 11
Def. don’t change your plans!! Do what is right for you guys. Remind FI that you want that time together first. – We’re doing a first look too and I would change a million other things about our day besides that. Plus, I want him to see me when I am JUST ready and fresh haha –
Post # 12
Unless you’re running a marathon in the pictures I don’t see where this lady is coming from? Maybe buy her some antiperspirant and a battery operated fan and tell her to suck it up. And if she sits like a lady then there shouldn’t be any problem getting “rumpled”.
Seriously though, don’t sweat it (pun intended). Someone will complain regardless of what you do. I would talk to your FI about how much work you’ve put into planning this and why it isn’t the easiest route. Explain the extra work and stress it would take for you to change things now as well as the added wait time for the reception to start and for the guests to hang around and do nothing. If he’s reasonable I would think he would go along with this like he did in the first place.
Post # 13
I can’t IMAGINE what it’d be like if we did our group pictures after the ceremony. It’s so hard to break away! everybody wants to hug and congratulate and chat and why would your parents want to be away from that? I think if you stress that fact, they’ll back down. You’ll get less time to get the pics you want if you wait until after the ceremony, also. Another point is that chances are your FMIL won’t be in a ton of pictures, so have her go first (or last) and she can get back indoors and fan herself or have someone fan HER to be divaesque 😉
Post # 14
ugh, sorry you have to deal with that. people need to learn to just go with the program!
my advice would be to have a steamer available at the ceremony site in the bridal room or wherever where your fmil can go and steam her dress if it gets wrinkled. also get an additional tuxedo shirt for your fiance that he can change into if he gets sweaty. it sounds silly but a few of my guy friend’s did that and it worked like a charm. the designer where fi bought his tux recommended that as well.
Post # 15
I think you should reconvince your husband. We took pics before the ceremony and I had to be convinced a bit but our first look was really romantic. And getting pictures out of the way is soooooooooooooooooooooooo gooooood. We did touch ups, I don’t think the guys did any, though we took pictures outside and everything was fine. I can understand sitting for long periods your dress might get a bit rumpled but that’s why there’s an hour built in. The guys won’t have too much time to touch up since they should really be ready to go and there 1/2 hour or so early to help with guests. Perhaps they want a little more time to touch up?
Post # 16
Thank you all for your kind words and support!! The thing is, FI is now afraid that it will be 100 degrees and humid and we’ll have to walk around in the heat. It could be hot and humid, or it could be pouring rain and freezing there’s just no way to know for sure. So I reserved a comfortable, air conditioned party bus and figured we’d decide that day based on the weather what we’re doing.
I’ve convinced FI to go with the flow, he is still on board. But the steamer idea is amazing, I was going to have to get one anyway!! My plan is now to buy the steamer off our registry and bring that to the bridal suite. WE are also ordering him a second tux shirt so if he really feels gross he can shower, he’ll have time!
Very glad to hear everyone on here recommends pix before teh ceremony, I think it will be a lot of fun!! 🙂