Getting over losing a pet.

posted 3 years ago in Pets
  • poll: How long before you stopped crying almost every day?
    Less than one week : (9 votes)
    13 %
    Two weeks or less : (15 votes)
    22 %
    One month or less : (16 votes)
    23 %
    A few months : (15 votes)
    22 %
    6 months or more : (14 votes)
    20 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    9949 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I can’t really answer with your poll options, since I didn’t live at home when my mom had to make the decision to put down my cat, Tiger.  I’d had her since she was a kitten, which was when I was in second grade, and she was put down in 2003 (beginning of senior year of college).  So that was like…15 years.  Every time I would go home, it was like the pain of her not being there was new…for maybe a year or two.  In 2005, I adopted Anouk (my cat), and that was around the time I stopped thinking about Tiger all the time.

    I was so mad at my mom that I told her she murdered my cat, and we both cried on the phone, and then I cried off and on for a while.  It was really hard.  It was harder to not be there.  I wish my mom and I could have shared that grief together without my getting mad at her.

     

    =(

    Post # 5
    Member
    9949 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @Amayansong:  Also, I am sorry to hear about your pet.  There is no getting over the fact that it sucks, and that people who aren’t pet owners don’t understand.  =(

    Post # 7
    Member
    4901 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    I’m getting ready to go through it right now with my German Shepherd, Fenja.  She is in end stage kidney failure.

    The first dog I lost was by far the hardest.  We had an incredible bond.  He was also a shepherd & died of hemangiosarcoma at only 4 yrs old.  I thought I would never stop crying.

    We’re German Shepherd people & always have multiple dogs–that’s a source of comfort because they still need our love & attention.

    We just lost our male a few mos ago at age 11 to cancer.  I lost an incredible working line male a few years back to a brain tumor just before his 5th birthday.

    I’ve been through this so many times & it always hurts, but for me, the first was definitely the hardest.  I had to learn it was survivable.

    Your grief will take as long as it takes, I’m glad you are getting support.  It comes in waves, just let it happen.  It will never be more than you can handle.

    Gentle cyber hugs to you.

     

     

    Post # 8
    Member
    359 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    It’s hard to answer your poll with a set amount of time. We had to out our dog down in July and I am just beginning to feel okay. I still miss him every day, but cry less often and can recall fond memories without having sadness take over. I’m sorry for your loss. I think it’s normal to take time to heal. Hugs to you. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    370 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    @Amayansong:  i am so very sorry that you are facing this. I just posted something similar about our situation – we put down our sweet baby a week ago today after a brief, but aggressive illness. I still cry everyday, although now it’s just once a day (ok, now twice bc I’m thinking about it). Don’t feel like you need to limit your grief – you will take as much time as you need.

    @sassy411:  We just lost our Andy to suspected hemangiosarcoma as well. It is a brutal diagnosis 🙁

    Post # 10
    Member
    1157 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @Amayansong:  I’m so sorry to hear about your Jilly!  It’s so different for each person…this isn’t something you should be comparing yourself to others over.

    The hardest one for me was my FI’s and my first dog we had together, Jesse.  We adopted him at 7 months and he passed at one year and 2 months old.  He had a genetic kidney issue that pushed him into kidney failure extremely suddenly, we had no idea he had this issue so we couldn’t prepare for it at all.  We had a day with him between admitting him to the vet and having to let him go.  Well, I was the person who “didn’t understand how people get so attached to animals” prior to Jesse and I thought that there was something wrong with me for feeling so sad over it.  I stopped talking to my friends and my FI (we lived together but I totally shut him out emotionally).  I clammed up and just went about my business as usual – no emotion.  None.  FI cried all the time, but I just shut down entirely.  I don’t even remember a lot of that month after Jesse passed I was so messed up.  I finally started to feel it and I was a wreck for another month after that.

    No one can tell you what is or isn’t normal.  I seriously considered looking into a therapist or counselor who specialized in pet grief, but decided not to in the end.

    It’s better to feel it and let it out though…trust me.

    Post # 11
    Member
    4901 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    @Miss Grey:  

    I’m sorry about Andy.  I hate hemangio.

    Post # 12
    Member
    293 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    It took a month or so for me to stop crying after my mom had to put down our dog, Sassy, but I was at graduate school so it wasn’t like I’d cry every day – I would have very bad moments several times a week where I would run to the bathroom to cry if I could or just repeatedly take my pen apart and put it back together if I was in lecture (not allowed to leave during lectures).

    All I can really offer is a big hug and assurance that it WILL get better, even if it takes time. And however long it takes others to get over a loss like this is immaterial, because everyone is different.

    Post # 14
    Member
    424 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @Amayansong:  I am so sorry about your dog!  My family recently lost our doggie as well, and I totally understand what you’re going through.  It’s okay to miss her.  Time will make you feel better, also.  Just keep telling yourself that she had a wonderful life (with you) and that she isn’t hurting anymore.  You sound like you were the best thing to happen to her 🙂

    Post # 16
    Member
    3373 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2000

    @Amayansong:  this sucks so much.

    My first dog–it took 15 months before I could think of her with anything but sadness. I distinctly remember the day that I thought of her when the lump of sadness had disappeared. I could remember her with happiness! yep, 15 months.

    So time will help. But dang it, the pain is hard!

     

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