- 6 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
Let me give you a bit of background first. My wedding planner and I met about 7 years ago at work and we immediately hit it off. We became fast friends. She is also the reason FI and I are together. She pushed me to join online dating (where I met FI) and on our first date, I had second-thoughts and almost didn’t go. She is the one who drove me to our rendez-vous and made sure I stayed until FI showed up.
At the time, she was already working on the side as a wedding planner. And I thought she was an energetic, creative planner.
FI and I live in a remote, very small, fly-only community. We go back to our hometown every 3-4 months and usually stay for a couple of weeks. When we decided to get married and did our budget, we set aside a significant amount of money towards having a wedding planner. We wanted to hire someone who understood our situation and would accommodate us. We knew we needed someone who could meet up with vendors and run errands for us.
Of course, we wanted to hire my friend because of the significant role she played in us getting together. However at the time, she was going through some rough stuff. I didn’t want to trouble her but at the same time, because my time in my hometown is so limited, I was anxious to hire a wedding planner. She suggested that I meet with her business partner (who I didn’t know at the time). The meeting didn’t go well. Both FI and I felt like she wasn’t listening to us and was imposing her vision on us. Also, when we told her our budget(20K for 150 guests), she basically told us, it wasn’t enough. That we needed to add another 6 or 7K!!!!
A friend of mine suggested her wedding planner. When we met with her, we immediately fell in love with her. She was so excited about our vision and was throwing bunch of ideas at us. When we explained our situation to her, she immediately put us at ease when she told us that she had co-ordinated a wedding for a couple who was in Europe and met them a week before their big day. She showed us her portfolio and we pretty much made up our mind that we wanted to hire her.
However when I told my friend, she was very disappointed and I immediately felt guilty. She told me how excited she was to be involved in planning my wedding. She assured me that she would be the one working with us and that she would do everything to accommodate us. She offered a “friendly” price but we insisted on paying full price because we knew we would be asking her to do a lot of stuff for us.
Well, I have to say that she hasn’t help me AT ALL. Except for booking the venue for us, I pretty much had to do everything on my own. I remotely dealt with all my vendors. When I told her I didn’t want to have a traditional wedding, she gave me no suggestions, no ideas. I sent her an inspiration board and got no feedback from her whatsoever. When I email her about something, it takes her weeks to email me back.
Right now I feel like because we’re friends, she isn’t putting in the same effort she does with her other clients. I see her Facebook page and all her clients always have nice things to say about her and how she made their vision come true and it angers me because she isn’t doing that for us.
FI is pissed and wants me to fire her. I’m afraid it will ruin our friendship but at the same time, I am really starting to resent her for her lack of involvement. Also I’m sooooo non-confrontational when it comes to friends, so it makes it easier for them to take advantage of me. And she is also costing us $2300, which a lot more than what the other planner wanted to charge us. I feel like she is making a quick buck on us.
Any other Bees had disappointment dealing with vendor/friends? How did you deal with it? Did it affect your friendship? Any regrets?
Any suggestion on how to deal with her would be greatly appreciated.