Post # 1
Ok ladies. I need to hear from you. I’m 36, I’ll be 37 iim November. Friday I had a d&c due to a missed miscarriage. We went to our 8 week appointment and the baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks and there was no heartbeat. Needless to say I was devastated. This was our first pregnancy and I would like to try for another pregnancy but I’m terrified to have to go through this again. I know I need to wait one cycle, or rather the dr. would prefer that I do, but how did you deal with the fear???
Post # 3
I am so sorry for your loss 🙁
Before this pregnancy, I had a miscarriage. My doctor told me that having one previous miscarriage does not make you anymore likely to have one with your new pregnancy. It is just the luck of the draw.
Two or more miscarriages may be an indicator that someting is wrong in which case your doctor will likely do more tests and prescriptions to increase the odds that your pregnancy is viable.
When you get pregnant again, I would request more frequent doctor visits to give you peace of mind.
Prayer and positive thoughts are getting me through the extremely long wait til my 10 week appointment to check on ninja. It is frightening, especially with my history, but it does get a little easier every day.
Post # 4
- Wedding: March 2012 - Father's Vineyard Church/ A Touch of Class Banquet Center
I have to be honest and say that the fear never 100% goes away. We are currently 25 weeks pregnant with a boy and after four miscarriages, I still get nervous, despite feeling him thump away in there. It’s completely normal to scared of the fear of losing another child. It might help to talk to someone who has experienced this, I felt that it really helped! Feel free to message me at any time!
Post # 5
@MrsFireChief: I’m in the same boa. I had a miscarriage the first week of August at 6 weeks. I did not need a d & c though. My doctor did tell me to wait until AF showed up to start trying again. AF showed up Friday so we’re back to trying
but I feel the same as you. So scared its going to happen again. The doctor told me that one MC is very very normal and that 85% O’s women who have 1 MC go on to have a healthy pregnancy the next time. So I am doing my best to stay positive. It’s scary But it’s out of my control. That has been the hardest part – accepting that there is nothing I can do really to s prevent it.
I’ll keep fingers crossed for you if you keep yours crossed for me 🙂
Post # 6
@Glasgowbound: i definitely will take that deal :-). Thank you
Post # 7
@MrsFireChief: I forgot to mention – I’m 38, will be 39 in November. Seems we have a lot in common 🙂 we can help each other get through this and get with the sticky BFP’s 🙂
Post # 8
Looks like we do. I’d be honored to be your sticky baby partner loL. Thank you very much for the offer
Post # 9
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss 🙁
I had a D&C in March for a blighted ovum. We waited 1 cycle and then started to try again. The fear was always there, when I got my BFP 2 cycles after the D&C I was really nervous. I took each day – day by day – every morning I woke up pregnant I was happy. It also felt different.
With the BO I felt like something was wrong the entire time, I had bleeding and I just didn’t feel right. With the BFP I felt pregnant right away, I felt confident and happy. It just felt a lot different. And hearing the doctor tell me the doubling HCG numbers made me relax more too.
Post # 10
@MrsFireChief: I know exactly how you feel. My first pregnancy ended in a missed MC and was absolutely devastating. I went 6 weeks thinking everything was fine when really my baby had stopped developing. It was one of those things where I felt like it was an out of body experience like it couldnt really be happening to me. I too had a d&c and was lucky that everything went smoothly and healed correctly. Honestly my DH was soo amazing through it all. We grieved together and picked up the pieces together. When we were ready and at least one period later (about 2 months) we started trying again. I got pregnant right away and am currently 8 weeks with what we are praying and hoping is our rainbow baby.
Honestly in the beginning I was convinced something was going to go wrong and we would lose this baby too. But I FORCED myself to stop thinking that way. There is absolutely nothing you can do to prevent a miscarriage and I totally gave in and put all my faith in God. I told my DH no more negative talk or saying things like “let’s hope everything is okay”. Now all we are is 100% positive. And we are so much happier in our relationship too. Stress and worry do absolutely nothing for you or for baby. There will always be some level of worry bc thats human nature, but not letting it take over all your thoughts is key.
I have also been pushy with my doctors office this time around. The first time I just went with the flow. This time I said I wanted hcg and progesterone blood draws and also ordered these pregnancy tests called detect 5 from earlypregnancytests.com they showed the hcg in my urine and made me feel so much better.
I was so excited for you when you got your BFP on the POAS thread, and will be even more thrilled when you get that BFP again. I wish you the very best of luck and hope you and your hubby can heal quickly and get your rainbow baby soon! Feel free to PM me anytime if you want to talk. Prayers and hugs are with you!!
Post # 11
@lalalalauren: thank you so much for your message. It really touched me.
Post # 12
I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. I can certainly empathize with you.
I got pregnant for the first time in July 2012 at the age of 34. I had my first appointment at 10 weeks and the baby did not have a heart beat and had died at 9 weeks. I was completely devastated. I knew about miscarriages, but had never really heard of a missed miscarriage.
I spotted off and on for 4 weeks then had my first period after 6 weeks. We started actively trying again in November and I got my BFP in February.
To be honest, the fear never really goes away, especially early on. For me, I forced myself to be positive about the pregnancy and not let my previous experience tarnish this pregnancy. The first trimester was hard and I luckily had a very understanding doctor who did frequent ultrasounds to ease my mind. The fear definitely lessened once in the second trimester and again at 18 weeks, when I started to feel the baby move.
I am now 30 weeks, and so looking forward to meeting this baby.
Good luck to you.
Post # 13
I went through something similar, at 9w I found that the baby had stopped growing at 7w, and I took misoprostol to induce MC. My doctor said to wait until I had 2 regular periods after the MC, and then we could try again. We tried on the first cycle we could, and got a BFP that month.
I am now in week 13 of my second pregnancy. I think the best way to get over the fear was just to listen to my doctor’s advice and to try again as soon as possible–and to recognize that ultimately we are not in control of what happens, all we can do is make the best choices we can based on medical advice and our own knowledge. Best of luck to you, and I hope that next time things will go smoothly.
Post # 14
I am so sorry for your loss. I also went through a similar situation back in Jan. I went in at almost 10w and baby stopped growing at almost 8w. I opted to take misoprostol rather than have a D&C, but the outcome was still the same. My Dr suggested I wait 2 months before TTC again to make sure my body was regulated again. With the help of Clomid, I’m now almost 23w pregnant, and we are doing great!
I will say even this far into my pregnancy, my fears of losing the baby are still there, and I don’t think it’s something that will ever go away. I’ve not had any reason to believe anything could/will go wrong, but after such a devastating loss, it’s hard to stay positive, specifically in the early weeks. For me, I tried my best not to think about my prior loss and treated each month as a milestone. I focused on being thankful to be pregnant again and doing everything I could to keep myself and baby healthy.
You’ll get your rainbow baby and everything will go great for you. Best of luck to you!
Post # 15
I am so sorry for your loss. I did not have a missed miscarriage but I did have a natural one at 7.5 weeks. My doctor also recommended we wait for AF before trying again. We did as he suggested, and got pregnant the very next cycle. I was terrified something would go wrong again, and unfortunately we actually had quite a few reasons in this pregnancy to think that was the case. My HcG levels came back quite low, progesterone was also low I had to be put on supplements, I had 2 episodes of unexplained spotting around 6 and 7 weeks (exactly how my last miscarriage had begun). However, despite all of that I am now 21 weeks and our rainbow baby seems to be doing great! I will say the worry never really goes away but it does get easier to handle and less frequent the more milestones you pass. I wish I could be one of those women who gets to just enjoy pregnancy and be 100% excited for the future and not constantly worrying about what could go wrong but the fact is, women who have experienced a miscarriage before see pregnancy differently. We know how fragile it can be and the fear of another loss is always there. That being said, I like what a PP said about staying positive regardless. There is never a reason not to be optimistic. Being pessimistic doesn’t make a loss easier to deal with should it happen. I will admit I had my share of doubts during this pregnancy, and I wish I could go back and stay positive through it all instead.
As far as moving forward, I found that controlling the only things I could helped me get through it. We started TTC again which helped me feel like I was doing something, and I did everything I could to stay healthy once we got our BFP as well. My doctor was very understanding and proactive and ordered blood draws and early ultrasounds to make sure everything was on track and we were doing everything we could from that standpoint. That helped a lot too, as I had a lot of what ifs with my first pregnancy. I wish you the best of luck TTC again and I hope that you get your rainbow baby very soon. When you do get pregnant, I hope that you are able to enjoy the pregnancy as a separate event and not tie previous feelings to it. Good luck!
Post # 16
Hi there. I am sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage in May and then got pregnant again without waiting one cycle. I was very nervous during the second pregnancy, and unfortunately that ended in miscarriage as well. I ended up convinced that no future pregnancy could have a happy ending. Now we’re TTC again, and I do have anxiety about having another miscarriage. However, it’s not as bad as I expected. What helped was finding an OB that I like and trust. The OB I spoke with after my 2nd miscarriage told me that she thinks I’m healthy and fine–just unlucky. She told me about all of the tests that she will offer me if I do have a third miscarriage. Having a plan in place with the help of a supportive doctor has made me feel confident about our choice to try again, even though I am still not feeling exactly confident that the next pregnancy will have a better outcome.