Getting pregnant before the wedding

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
  • poll:
    Get pregnant now : (9 votes)
    5 %
    try to get pregnant the month b4 the wedding : (16 votes)
    8 %
    wait til the honeymoon : (167 votes)
    87 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3978 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @Carrielicious:  You don’t talk about your job situation/security/financial security/housing situation, etc. That is more important than talking about age in numbers. I personally would not want to be pregnant on my wedding day, not only so I don’t have to worry about buying a dress in the right size, but so I don’t have morning sickness! Personally I think trying for a baby, the stress of baby, is just overload during a period that should be focused on solidifying your expectations of your relationship moving forward and figure out the plans for the wedding (and financials for that as well). Obviously, babies come at all times, but if I were planning a pregnancy, personally I would wait (24 year old bee, coming up on 6th anniversary with FI, also a bee with mild- to moderate-baby fever but trying to do what’s right for my family by waiting until FI graduates from his Ph.D. and more student loans are paid off, some travel has been enjoyed, etc)

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    2355 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Wait. Give yourself a chance to enjoy being married first. Don’t do it before the wedding. You want to be able to enjoy the planning. Don’t forget how expensive babies are. Now imagine paying for a wedding on top of pregnancy, delivery, and baby. It’s still not socially acceptable, so I imagine you will have a number of upset family members as well, especially if you come from a religious background. Marriage is huge. Wait. You don’t know what is going to happen over the next 19 months. You may discover that the baby fever wears off.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1590 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I just feel like it’s a lot to deal with at once. If it happens it happens, but I personally would try to avoid the two at the same time. 

    I’m thrilled to be able to have my nieces in/at the wedding!

    Post # 6
    Member
    872 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Please take time to enjoy your wedding and engagement! I was engaged for almost 2 yrs. before we got married and it honestly went so fast. The last 5 months were the most stressful and honestly the wedding DOES put a strain on your relationship. So many strange family things/disagreements occur that you have to work through that you don’t even know are a problem yet! Working through them as a couple are difficult but it also strengthens your relationship as well. I would take one relationship step at a time if it is possible. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    11668 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999
    Post # 8
    Member
    11668 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @love108:  agree. Every pregnancy idifferent but my first trimester has sucked – acne, bloating, exhaustion and all day sickness and feeling like shit. wouldn’t wish it on anyone especially not on their wedding day. 

    Your financial and emotional readiness is far more important than age and wanting to have a kid at your wedding.    

    Personally I see no rush at your age. Take it one step at a time. Simply wanting a baby doesn’t mean it’s right time to have one.

    Also, if you have to poll the internet abou their opinions on such a big and personal decision, it’s likely a sign you’re not quite ready yet.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1710 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I was 17 weeks pregnant at my wedding In March. I wouldn’t trade my baby or pregnancy for anything, but it did cause a lot of stress. I was stressed about my dress not fitting, I was so sick January and February with morning sickness that I was a grouchy, half alive mess.

    Post # 10
    Member
    564 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I’m going to say do what you like, if you can afford to have a baby and you want one, then do it!! Waiting to have a baby until after you’re married wont make you better parents, marriage doesn’t magically make these things happen. I sympathize with you, I’ve had wild baby fever for the last two years and I don’t wish this feeling on anyone! If you’re both ready then go for it!!! 🙂 good luck, and do what you want. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    1284 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @love108:  +1

    there are lots more important things to consider than your age and the timing around your wedding – mostly for me it would be how financially stable you are and whether you and your fiance have been living together long enough to work out all the small stuff (like how you handle chores, joint finances, arguments, etc.). 

    Post # 12
    Member
    393 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Wait and try to relax a little. Enjoy beging married. Getting married is a change, and you owe it to your future children to give your relationship with your new spouse time. I get that you’ve been together a long time, but the “we’ve been together since age 15” thing can work against the relationship too.

    And if you do get pregnant before the wedding, please don’t announce it at the wedding. People should be happy for you but it just feels inappropriate.

    I get having baby fever, I really do…but wait wait wait!

     

     

     

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    3394 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @Carrielicious:  A lot of people in your real life will have opinions about this. Be prepared for people to think you got married because you had a kid. I actually got pregnant while on birth control pills, after we got engaged and picked a wedding date. And then my future MIL tried to force us to drop the wedding I had already planned and go to the courthouse. Then there’s also your body. Sure many women get right back to skinny, but many, many women don’t ever get back to skinny. I also want to throw in the fact that planning a wedding while toting a toddler around is going to be a lot more difficult, plus the money aspect. So as long as you don’t care about what people think, whether or not you get into a certain size and you’re really good at multi tasking, then I don’t think your age matters.

    Post # 14
    Member
    405 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I would pick trying the month before as the worst time to try, I’m 9 weeks now, and from 4 weeks onwards i had terrible bloating and my boobs got bigger (would never have fitted my dress!), felt pretty sick and had awful skin!

     

    Post # 15
    Member
    166 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    @Carrielicious:  wait!!! I was 8weeks pregnant on my wedding day, my dress was snug, I had horrible morning sickness, we couldn’t fly anywhere for our honeymoon (personal choice about flying and being newly pregnant) and I was tired!!! 

    I’m due in October and can’t wait to meet her, but I wish I would’ve been able to have a cocktail or sushi or anything I wanted at my wedding.

    Post # 16
    Member
    4483 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    I would wait, but I’m pretty traditional

     

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