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I'm sorry to hear about your frustration. I'm not really in a similar situation, but I know a friend who was. The good news is, despite having irregular periods(due to polycystic ovarian syndrome), she actually was PREGNANT the DAY of of wedding and is now almost 6 months along!
Since I'm not a fertility specialist, I would recommend that you talk to your OB/Gyn and get a referral to a reproductive specialist. They have extra training in fertility issues and are better equipped to deal with these types of issues. On top of that, they can help explain what might be going on better than your regular OB/Gyn.
What I can tell you is that as much as it would be nice to have both your menstration(the bleeding) and the ovulation(releasing of the egg) to be connected, sometimes that just doesn't happen. There are several hormones that have to work together to make the whole process go smoothly, and unfortunately that means a problem with any of the steps will disrupt the cycle and potentially cause you to have fertility problems.
When your OB/Gyn originally told you at the last visit that you weren't ovulating, it wasn't because of your periods. You were on the pill, which is supposed to suppress ovulation as part of its function. That is the reason why you weren't "running out of eggs" at the time.
Again, I stress the importance of talking to a specialist about it. There might be an underlying issue that needs to be evaluated, and a reproductive specialist would be able to walk you through the process.
Im sorry :( I sometimes worry about the same thing, that either me or my hubby can't have children. I've been on birth control for almost 4 years and, I know it's stupid, but I feel like if we haven't managed to get preggo by now, it will probably be hard later on. Now, it's really silly because BC is SUPPOSED to help prevent pregnancy, which means it's doing it's job (and its not like I miss pills, or take them late. I'm really good about it). I always thought my periods were irregular as well, but then I realized maybe I just wasn't keeping proper track of it.
ANYWAY, I understand the feeling. I don't have it as bad as you, but you'll never know for sure until you start trying! Luckily there is soooo much that science can do for us today. There are numerous stories out there about women struggling so hard to get pregnant, going through all the medical procedures, then out of the blue, it just happens naturally! Good luck, and just remember that when you do start trying, it can take up to a year! Some doctors wont begin to asess fertility issues until you've been trying that long. *hugs*
Sometimes I think about it too and I'm not even married yet. My birth control has totally taken away my periods so after about 4 months of being on it I freaked and bought a pregnancy test just to make sure. Also my fiance has had some issues in the past down there. I'm worried we won't be able to have kids and I definitely want them. I hoping it's all just extra stress we put on ourselves and everything'll be ok. At least I have all the equipment. My sister's down an ovary so when she has kids it's definitely gonna be a challenge.
I would say get a second opionon too.
I am 29 and just had an ovary and fallopian tube removed almost 2 years ago and they found alot of endometriousis (sp?) and now I am very concerned seeing I only have one set. But I say second opionon bc my surgeon told me I HAD to conceive in the next 3 yrs (starting from surgery) or I would have a very, very difficult time. Also in the same sentence told me I could not start for a year due to the scar tissue from the surgery. WOOOH! Talk about pressure! DH and I had only been togethor a yr and knew we were it for each other but that was hard to bear. I decided to go back to my old OBGYN (insurance wouldnt pay for her hence the need for another surgeon) and pay OOP anyways for her opionon. I trust her and she has been there for me for a lot of things. Her advice: I had time. She did state that when I started to try, if I could not conceive within 6 mths she would send me to a specialist. Yes some doctors wait a year but if there are other concerns going on they will do it in 6 mths. She did tell me that after 35 would be extremely difficult if not impossible. DH and I only want 2, but will feel super blessed with just one.
I think the pressure and worry gets to you, I know it does me, especially when FIL was joking today when ordering catered food, they asked for how many, he said 9, oh no wait 10 since I was expecting! It was a joke and he said it was his way of telling me he cant wait for us to add to the bunch. I was excited yet scared and sad too bc my SIL then asked if we were trying and due to lifes crazyness and being newlyweds we are waiting a year. She seemed a little sad and well so was I. It brought on that fear again if I cant get pregnant will I disappoint everyone and most important, how will I handle that myself. It is my dream to be a mom. All I can say is try not stress, talk to as many doctors as you want to make yourself feel better. Stress is key. I know many women who were not able to get pregnany bc they stressed so much. Once they elimated that, boom, they were preggers. I wish you all the luck and sending prayers and hugs your way!
I worry as well. I've had three, count them three.. miscarriages, in a row. Two of them were extremely early and one was at 11 weeks. So, my problem isn't getting pregnant, but actually staying pregnant. I feel a lot of pressure because I know my husband would love to have kids of his own. Also, it seems like EVERYONE around me is getting knocked up and having absolutely no problems carrying their children to term. It sucks. I suspect I may actually be preggo again right now, I'll find out in a few days but I just feel really blah about the whole thing at this point.
Have you seen a specialist? I've been transferred to an infertility clinic--I have really bad endomertriosis. My new doctor has SO MUCH MORE information. It's like having a baby encyclopedia right in front of me. I'm completely amazed at all the new information I could get out of him in two visits! I actually just had an ultrasound for an egg count--I have a very low (yet still normal) number of egg follicles so this is DEFINITELY a concern of mine. Have you had one? It helps assess your egg production. From there, i'm having a lap in November to see how damaged my tubes are. They can do laproscopies to clean away scar tissue or just see if you have any cysts or nodules or anything weird going on on your tubes, ovaries, or uterus. A doc may wanna just poke around at some time if you're still having trouble. They really suck, but they can see everything, which they like.
I'd look into a special clinic--they may be able to regulate you or boost your ovulation. If anything, when the time comes, they can do IVF or other advanced reproductive techniques. My insurance covers it--they're still a gynecologist!
I don't know you so I don't want to be rude--but 17 is sorta late to be menstruating I thought. Did you or do you have a very low body weight by chance? I know a lot of dancers/gymnasts/women with eating disorders/etc don't menustrate or ovulate b/c their body fat is very very low and that could affect you, too.
You get your period with your eggs (if you are ovulating) don't get ferilized, so you shed uterine lining. There's likely a reason your body is over-producing a uterine lining. It's always preparing for an egg it seems, right? I've been on the pill before and my uterine lining got so thin it just shed and shed and shed every day. Finally I had to switch up some meds. I think it's time to upgrade your doctor. GOod luck! I definitely know what you're feeling and the anticipation sucks. I gotta wait til Thanksgiving!
My situation is SO similar to yours-- and I've been worried about getting pregnant for so long, even though I'm not even engaged.
I've just had this sinking gut feeling for a long time that I wouldn't be able to have kids. B/F and I even talk about adoption like we already know I won't be able to have kids.
I also started menstruating at 16-17 years old and my periods have been super-irregular (I have a period every 3 or 4 months, tops). I'm just so worried, but its hard to know for sure until you are trying to have a child and you can't. Right now we are doing everything we can do to NOT have a child, so its hard to judge how sucessful we will be eventually.
Not to thread hack and I apologize but @ EJS, is that ultrasound for your egg count invasive? I'd be interested to know, but definetely not up for anything invasive yet. My surgery was pretty traumatic. 
I'm worried about it too. My mother wasn't supposed to be able to have children and had about 23048 miscarriages. She has a benign brain tumor on her pituitary gland and also a t-shaped uterus. They did infertility stuff forever, then stopped, and conceived me at the New Orleans World's Fair. (Lol. I think that explains a lot about me...) She went into labor when she was 4-5 months pregnant, and they started her on those 'baby don't pop out' meds and sewed her cervix shut. She was confined to the bed in the hospital until I was born, which was still 2 months early. For the remainder of my childhood, they did invitro, then eventually gave up. (Way to make your only child feel loved, guys! lol...)
I'm just terrified that I'll have some sort of problem. My grandmother also had problems with miscarriages. My OB/GYN says that everything looks normal, but I haven't had tests run or anything.
I could say all kinds of things here, but this is the "nutshell" version-I've had GYN problems since college-horrid periods, endometriosis, ovarian cysts, PCOS-if there is a procedure or surgery, it's a pretty good chance I've had it done to me. I have been on several courses of Lupron Depot (puts you in a synthetic state of menopause to slow the growth of endometriosis).
Fast forward 7 years-after being a fertility patient for SEVEN years...I got pregnant. I took Femara instead of Clomid (Femara being the drug of choice for IF patients with PCOS) and I got pregnant...with multiples. :) 1st U/S detected twins, a rush to the ER when I thought I was miscarrying revealed triplets-for the next 6 months, I was pg with triplets. Lost Baby A (my precious little one) and went into preterm labor a short while later with Babies B & C-who are now happy, thriving, ridiculously busy 5 year olds-who are about to be 6!
There is hope! You need to see a good GYN with experience in this area, then you need to see a reproductive endocrinologist-don't go on with IVF or any of the more expensive (some insurance-including our teacher insurance) doesn't pay for any IF treatments-so I suggest go low-tech until it is time to go high-tech. At the same time, don't "waste" time in low-tech if other things may help you. IVF cycles are very expensive-drugs, injectables, etc. I know several ladies who have gotten pg on meds and others with IVF-there are also procedures in between-ICSI, etc.
Educate yourself, don't surrender to scare tactics, count on others who have been there to support you, as hard as it may be...relax. For me, praying also helps-God doesn't shut a door without opening a window AND sometimes you have to give it to God (not trying to offend anyone here, not witnessing, just passing on some personal advice so don't get all angry with me here) Sometimes God's answers to our prayers is not "no", it's just "not right now". This I know to be true-I had to wait and be patient.
You can PM me if you would like-happy to talk about it. Hive hugs!
Edit post: I also wanted to pass this on-don't get a bunch of tests and procedures done on yourself without having your hubby checked out first. You need blood work #1, then you need to have a test done where they run dye thru your tubes to be sure they are open-no point in taking meds if they are closed-that requires surgery to fix that. The dye should "spill" out the end of your tubes, but sometimes, if they are blocked, the dye can "blow out" the tube and clear them. You can watch it on the monitor-it's kindof cool. The other thing is your FI needs to get tested asap when you start trying-80% of IF problems are caused by male IF! Really! It's a whole lot easier and a whole lot cheaper to test "the boys". My ex husband had a varicose vein pressing on his vas deferens-cuts off the supply line or limits it severely resulting on lower sperm count and numbers, affects motility, can affect morphology, etc.-simple surgery to remove the varicose vein and several months later, his count was up and we were "back in business". I was fascinated to learn that a man can reach his moment of, er, "happiness" and "O" and have ejaculate (sorry if that is TMI) but still have no spermies in the seminal fluid. I didn't know that before. Sorry if this offends anyone-if all that I went thru to get PG can help someone else out, I'm happy to share and help. Not trying to overshare. My apologies if this offends anyone.
I PMed MissGreen about the ultrasound so if anyone else is interested shoot me a msg =]
Lupron Depot is SOOOO EVIL. I was 22 and going through menopause! I'd throw off my clothes while i was sleeping b/c i had hot flashes. My poor roommate always laughed when i woke up naked =]
The Sher Clinic is the one clinic that I've been going to (also my new doc is a reproductive endocrinologist)...maybe they have one out near you?
angeldoc: I actually wasn't on the pill when he told me I wasn't ovulating (I hadn't been on for a few years, my mom finally forced me to go back on them because she was concerned with having my period too often)
ejs4y8: Don't worry your comment wasn't rude at all. I know it is rather old to start. I was acutally a competitive figure skater! However, I did/do NOT have an eating disorder nor was I under weight, just very active. My mom also started getting her's when she was 16 so I wasn't surprised by the late start. She had 3 children.
MissGreen: I hear you on other people making comments. We aren't even married yet and my brothers fiancee (they get married this Oct!) keeps asking "So when are you going to have kids". I'm just like we AREN't married yet. I have nothing against people having children before they are married (she actually had a child when she was 15-16 who is currently 15 so maybe that has something to do with her asking) but we want to wait so I don't understand why she has to ask me every time I see her, plus it makes me heart sink a little since I know it is going to be difficult.
I'm so glad other people also have concerns or gut feelings on this issue and I'm not the only one. I know I need to go back to my doc but I currently do not have insurance (cannot get it either like so many other bee's I've read about. You know the story: travel to another country in college = get sick with rare virus = FAT chance you can get insurance from anyone). I usually don't forget my pills and am very good about taking them at the same time everyday. I just hate being on the pill and I know that I have to be on it (or to the best of my knowledge at this point I do).
FH knows all my issues and concerns and we have talked about the what if. I know we would both love to have children of our own but we too have also talked as if we are going to have to adopt.
Thanks for your advice on speaking with a specialist. This is definetly something we are going to look into right away so that we are educated and prepared when we are ready to have children.
Definitely find one now--there is a lot they can do to "prep you" for conception. We're starting to prep about 6 months before we start trying--prenatals, appropriate diet for each of us, cutting back on caffeine and alcohol, folic acid and zinc, etc, not to mention any medications either of us may need.
If you hate the pill, would you be open to trying other BC options? I've been on NuvaRing for a few years now and I LOVE it. I had the issue of getting my period everyweek for several days when I was a teenager. I was put on the pill, but still had issues with low iron in my blood for years. Eventually the pill regulated me and when I went off when I was married before I was easily able to have two daughters (almost too easily). When I'm off BC for long periods, I seem to go back to having period issues, so I pretty much always stay on BC, but I guess I know that I'm okay in the future if I do want more. I would get a second opinion from another doctor if I were you, but that was my experience with the whole situation.
Snowflake: What is NuvaRing like? I hate the pill because I hate the way it makes me feel. Also the risk of blood clots freaks me out since they run in my family and my mom had them when she was my age (in her legs). I've heard of NuvaRing and know how it works but I don't know anyone who has acutally uses it. I don't even think my doctor had mentioned it has an option the second time I went on the pill.
SandDollar, I've been on NuvaRing for almost 5 years now, and I love it. It's a slightly lower dose of hormones than the pill because it's absorbed continuously (and more effectively). Some people say that it hurts or feels weird during sex, but I've never had a problem with that...although it has, perhaps TMI, popped out during said activity maybe three or four times since I've been using it. Other people complain of moodiness or headaches, but I think those are side effects that really vary person-to-person. The only bad things about it are that I completely forget about it so I have to set alarms on my phone to remind myself of when to take it out and put the new one in -- also that there's no generic version, so if you don't have insurance it might be more expensive than the pill (depending on what pill you're currently on).
I've always felt like this too! I don't really have a good reason ... I guess it's just because it's so important to me. A friend of mine (who now has two kids) had the same feeling, and they had a hard time getting pregnant the first time. But everything is OK! I guess it's just my faith, but if I couldn't have children, I'd just try to accept it and move forward. And maybe have lots of doggies. :)
I too have the same concerns about being able to have children. Not for any medical reasons that I know of, just I've always had a feeling too! My FI and I want children so badly, that I would be a little hurt that we couldn't have our own kids! But we do plan on adopting if we are unable to have kids. My FI was adopted and that was one of the first things he asked before we got really serious, whether or not I would be interested in adoption if we were unable to have kids.
Thanks so much everyone! All of your comments have been so helpful!!! I really appreciate you sharing your personal stories and your own concerns. I'm still new on WeddingBee but I'm absolutly in love with it. I am just amazed at how helpful and supportive everyone is of complete strangers and by the entire environment of this site!
Thanks again!
I am nervous too because of my age and thyroid. My mother also took 4 years to get pregnant with me. I would recommend getting the book "Taking Control of Your Fertility" It explains a lot and has a method called Fertility Awarness that can help women get pregnant through monitoring their bodies signs to find when they are ovulating. I will definitely use it when I am trying.
@msmarch2010-I have hypothyroidism-which they actually didn't detect until I had my blood work done for my fertility workup-very important to be on meds (but if you have hypothyroidism, you already know that) I am on thyroid hormone for the rest of my life, but it can cause all kinds of problems if it's not regulated well. They continued to monitor my T4 and TSH levels the entire time I was pregnant.
I did have to monitor also-started with basal temp and charting-ended up using the test strips and then a fertility monitor.
I'm sorry sweetie, it must be stressful to carry around that concern. I'm no doctor but I tend to take the word of a doctor because I don't think he'd volunteer that info if he didn't mean it. A doctor knows how important having a child is to some women so they wouldn't offer any false hope. I am ALWAYS worried that I won't be able to have children but so far the fear is unfounded. Like you said, its just a gut thing. I'd be devastated. We want to have begin trying not long after the wedding and I've been tempted to go to a fertility doctor, just to be sure. Though I know they'll tell me I'm crazy because you go there is there's a problem, not just to check on things!
I hope it all works out for ya :o)
SandDollar, I have my period every other week, too! Did your doctor give you any advice? It's destroying my sex life and seriosuly freaking me out! Like you, I got my period way late in the game (15), and I've been on birth control since I was a teenager to control my always-irregular periods (I once had my period for over 60 days straight!). Also like you, I hated the pill (it made me a crazy woman with no sex drive- how fun!), so I've been off of it for a few months (hence the craziness). I have an appointment with my gynecologist soon, but I'm just wondering if you had any input.
If you're still considering the Ring, I liked it much better than the pill. I think it killed my sex drive even more than the Pill did, but, if that's not an issue for you, I say go for it! The putting it in/ taking it out part is kinda weird, but that's a few short seconds per month in exchange for weeks of not having to remember to take the pill (and having it make you cray-zay!).
I am worried about not having kids. Even though I don't have the same issue you do, FI and I have a lot of pressure from his family because if we DON'T have a boy, then there will be no one to carry on the family name. Pretty intense!
Yea I had a gut feeling too that I was not going to be able to have babies. This past monday I went to a fertility Clinic. Well he said I have 3 problems. I need a surgery for the uterus! Second one of my Fallopian Tubes is clog up. And last not having a normal mestrual period!
He said first thing is the surgery for the uterus and work from there!
I've also been really stressed, but (assuming my vitamin deficiencies resolve on my bloodwork), we are now ready to TTC starting in Dec.
I had a h3llova time going off the pill, as I posted elsewhere. I was on yaz recently, and other pills for 9+years. I had horrible periods for the first 4 or so cycles, and it turns out I had a hemorraghic (sp?) cyst. So, I've had 2 ultrasounds and inferitility panel bloodwork. Everything now looks good, so I probably have better assurances than most do when they start "cold" TTC, but I still can't help but be nervous.
I have vitamin B & D definiciences, but have been taken supplements for a several weeks and get re-tested next week....wish me luck for the 'green light'!
@cannotwait: Oh things like they are looking up! I hope everything goes well for you and you get that green light your hoping for!!!! I'll keep you in my prayers...Sorry to hear you had a hard time going of BC but it's for a good reason right!
My story is very similar to yours. Last year, my periods were coming every other week. Due to cancer running in my family, my gyno recommended having a D&C to biopsy my uterine tissue to ensure that everything was ok (no cancer) and to give my body a "fresh start". The procedure worked wonders. I am back on a regular schedule. For the pre-op, I was given an ultrasound which proved that I wasn't ovulating. Have you had one? This may calm the fear of running out of eggs. Doctors weren't sure what happened, but I still am worried that I wont be able to conceive. Best of luck to you. I'm sure that fertiltiy experts have delt with this before and have a solution for you if you experience any problems TTC!
I have been worried about this too. I'm 26 and I've already had a mammogram and two different ultrasounds to check my ovaries and whatnot. I have some sort of hormonal imbalance, I think it might be estrogen dominance, but I maxed out my medical benefits this year with all the tests and procedures and am paying off a leftover $1100 medical bill from what my insurance didn't cover so everything is on hold until the new benefits period starts next month and I can continue tests.
I have had to cut out all caffeine out of my diet (no pop, no chocolate, no coffee, no energy drinks) and limit processed foods. Estrogen dominance can cause infertility and a host of other symptoms (fatigue, mood swings, weight gain, thyroid dysfunction, PCOS, etc). I'm being open minded about the whole thing, whatever it is, whatever it may cause. We'll see...
I have PCOS! But luckily I had a great doctor that diagnosed it young (13) and have been treated for it ever since - I still may have difficulty getting pregnant but since I have been treated since an early age I have a higher likelyhood of conceiving without fertility treatments!
I have a great specialist that I work with now who is very knowledgeable and I will stay with her throughout trying to conceive!
I second everyone's opinion about seeing a specialists - GPs can't know everything and often female fertility issues can be under diagnosed! A lot of these conditions can be problematic fertility wise if left untreated so definitely find someone who can diagnose you properly instead of saying - I think you haven't been ovulating.
Good Luck!
I hope the best for you! I also worry about this.... I'm 6 weeks out from having a 5" endometrioma removed from my ovary, plus a boatload of other problems. :(
More recently, I sort of came to terms with the fact that if we can't get pregnant, it's for a reason...and probably because both of us have some nasty diseases in our families, most of which are genetic and theres a good chance they could be passed on to our kiddos.
It's a tough cookie to swallow, but I'm getting better with coping with the idea, and think of all of the toys we can have (we both have snowmobiles now)....and vacations! Of course we'd rather have a couple rugrats to spend our money on, but we will make the best out of life together if we cannot.
We are concentrating on building our house, and me finishing grad school (2 more years), and if the stars align, we'll be having a baby soon after!
this has been a huge concern of mine for some time now and it's good to know i'm not alone! my FI and i both really want children (sooner rather than later!) and i just have this feeling that it's going to be a struggle for me. i'm underweight which i know can present a problem but otherwise healthy. i'm not sure why i have such an intense fear. my mother had no problem with fertility...i'm one of six children! that said, my oldest sister struggled before conceiving her first and she is the healthiest, most grounded person i know. she and her husband had to resort to fertility treatments and luckily were eventually successful. then again, her second baby was a total surprise and was conceived while she was on birth control! ahhh...so confusing....
good to know I am not the only one with worries, although my hubby tells me not to stress, people get pregnant when they are least stressed
I got married late, I am now 39 married goin gon 5 months; we saw a specialist one day after the honeymoon and it overwhelmed us, we had tests one after the other, told I had to take hormone shots; then one day we visited my brother and our cousin couldnt make it becuase she had some spotting and was found to be pregnant at age 42, making her a mom at age 43; we are both Catholic and apprehensive about thinking of IVF without giving it adequate time; but starting IVF one week after we got married was a bit much to take and when we heard my cousins story we took it as a sign to slow down and enjoy our life together for a bit; we were long distance quite a bit and didnt even give it adequate time just to try things naturally
I moved to England two months ago, so one month was inhibited by family being in town for the wedding; couldn't have nookie with family in the next room; then we had one month together, we were apart for the next month while my hubby got settled in England , then for two months I had a horrible time adjusting to a new life in England so the babymaking activities weren't exactly happening; so now everytime, I get my periods ,we try to go at it like rabbits next cycle; the pressure is on because my hubby came form a small family, mine was big, and he wants a big family
here's to everyone hoping for a healthy baby; I think society has been kind women are able to have careers now, but it's a double edged sword I delayed my settling down and I am just hoping and praying it's not late. Deep down, I know everything will work out, but it doesnt help my fears.
So, yes, I worry, I dont want to wait too late for IVF, but we really hope to conceive the good oldfashioned natural way. Well, time will tell, it's a whole new field out there nowadays a lot of ethics involved, we dont believe in termination either when the doc we visited asked if termination was an option, usually they may implant 4 eggs and then terminate the embryos that are found abnormal.
So, now everytime, my period is done we got at it like rabbits everyday til the next time I get my period. Best wishes to everyone here.
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I was just wondering if anyone else has concerns about being able to have children?
I don't know why but ever since I was younger I've always had a gut feeling that I would not be able to have children. I know that FH and I both want them and I would love to have at least two but my concerns have resurfaced these past few months.
I have an extremely irregular period. I get my period ever other week (no lie) if I'm not on the pill. I started taking the pill when I was 17 (also started menstrating rather old) to help regulate my period but I hated taking it so I went off after a few years. By about the second month of being off the pill I started getting my period sooner and sooner until it was back to ever other week. I have since gone back on the pill. This past month I have gotten my period 3 times. I forgot my pill two days and have therefore got my period (full 7 days each time, not spotting). I'm really concerned that once it is time to have children I'm not going to be able to.
When I went back on the pill this last time I expressed my concerned with my doctor. I thought I was running out of eggs (since we are only born with so many). He told me that I was actually not even ovulating and therefore not releasing any so I probablly have more left. He told me that I wouldn't be able to in the next year or so (thinking that was how long it should take to regulate) and that I should be able to it just might be more difficult.
However, this was about 2 years ago and I'm affraid that he may have been wrong. I don't understand how I am going to be able to have children and ovulate if missing my pill for a day or two causes me to get a full period!
Anyone else have similar concerns or situation?