- 3 years ago
Since Monday SO has been really short with me and not really engaging in conversations. He’s fine when we’re around other people though. I asked him what was wrong last night and he said nothing. Then barely spoke to me at all today, even though he knew I still had my migraine (2nd day now) he didn’t ask how I was or anything. It started on the weekend.
I’ll explain our weekend: Saturday, 10am we picked up my brother to go car shopping, my brother is a mechanic. I wanted a specific car, but both the boys were against it and kept trying to talk me into other cars while at the 2nd hand dealers. Anyway, we didn’t end up buying anything, because the cars were a bit dodgey. We dropped my brother home and went home ourselves, as I was starting to get a headache and it was now 6pm. We chilled for a little bit then went to the pub for one of his mates birthdays. He hadn’t seen this group of friends for a while, so there was a LOT of reminiscing, and a lot of talk about SO’s past sexual adventures. I tried to ignore it and have a fun night anyway, I wasn’t drinking, but everyone else was, so it was quite a rowdy crowd and a lot of shit talking, including one of his “mates” offering me up for a gang bang, charming right?! I shrugged this off as well, we went and played a game of pool, but I started to notice that whenever I tried to be affectionate, he’d back away or ignore me.
Anyway, on Sunday we went car shopping again. We did find a car we liked, but it was $1500 over of my budget and the dealer wouldn’t budge on price, so we walked away, it was honestly the best car we had seen all weekend. We tried to see a few cars from private sellers, but a lot of them weren’t responding, so I was a bit annoyed because ideally, I needed a car for the week because public transport adds another hour, minimum, to my travels. After speaking with my brother, SO decides that he’ll go back to the dealer the next day, Monday as it’s slow at work, where the nice car we both liked was and he’ll put in the extra money as he’s ahead on one of his loans. I told him only to do it if he’s sure it’s affordable. He said it was ok.
SO did this on Monday. I’m studying and was on work experience on Monday, so I had to wait until Tuesday to go get the car. SO was really late home on Monday, like 10pm+ and I went to bed on Monday with a killer headache, I still had it when I woke up on Tuesday but tried to get ready for work experience/to pick up the car anyway. Huge fail, I threw up everwhere. That’s when I realised it was a migraine and I had no hope. I called in sick to my work experience and told SO I’d go later in the afternoon to pick up the car. I got the car, but forgot to check the oil in the car, SO was pissed when he called to check later and told me to check it with him on the phone. I couldn’t open the oil cap anyway and said I had planned to go to the shops to try and get something for my migraine and something light to snack on. SO said “don’t dirve the car”, I said “ok”. I was still trying to open the oil cap and said “nah, I can’t get it to open.” He then said “well if you drive it, the engine might blow up. Is it worth it going to the shops?” I said “I already agreed with you and said I wouldn’t drive it… jeez…” he said he had to go, so I said “bye” and hung up. The whole conversation was on speak phone with his workmate in the truck with him btw and I really don’t appreciate the implication that I’m stupid and would drive a car that needs oil. He came home later, around 8pm put the oil in the car but said it need more. We went to go visit our puppy, as she’s at a friend’s place because she’s on heat and we have an entire male dog at our place too. We went to a servo on the way home because SO wanted to put more oil in the car. Went home, he seemed pissed so I asked him what was wrong and he said nothing and went to bed. I thought maybe he was just tired, so I left it alone.
Usually when I’m sick, especially when I have a migraine, he’ll msg to see if I’m ok. Nothing. This was when I knew something was up. After a few texts beack and forth, he finally says that he’s feel under appreciated because I didn’t say thank you for his help with the car financially, or with the oil, and because last week I had the flu and now I have a migraine, so I’m not really in a sexy-time mood. I said he doesn’t thank me for all the housework I do, or picking up the slack when his step-brother doesn’t help out with the housework, and a bunch of other examples, I just thought we were pass that bullshit. He claims he always thanks me for the housework, he doesn’t, I don’t care. So I said ok thanks for the help with the car, but you got attitude because you went on about me blowing up the engine when I had already agreed not to drive the car. And as for the sex, I’ve been trying to be affectionate but you keep pulling away, to which he denies, so I gave him some examples and he said it wouldn’t have been intentional. I just feel like anything I do is wrong. He was annoyed that I was sick last week and now seems annoyed that I’ve got a migraine too. It’s not my fault, I can’t help it.
Bees, I’m a loss. When you’re building a life together, living in the same house, sharing money, bills, etc… Do you really need to say “thank you” for every little thing that gets done by your partner? I’ve not really spoken to him tonight purely because I just don’t know what the hell to say. I feel like if I say anything it’s going to be wrong. Eh, thanks for letting me vent.