- 6 years ago
- Wedding: December 2013
this isn’t wedding-related, so i don’t know if it’s better suited for this section or emotional. i need to vent though.
in much the same way i come with a kid (from FI’s perspective), he comes with a brother. yeah, sure, i have a sister too, but this where “much the same way” as me coming with a kid comes into play…this brother is entirely dependent on Fiance. lived with him (now with us), ate his food, took up his space, used his stuff, cost him money. this wouldn’t be so bad but…he’s nearly 24. he’s been unemployed for over two years. he has a car, but only because Fiance bought a new (to him) car a year ago and just gave his old POS to Future Brother-In-Law. he still pays the insurance on it and recently paid an impound fee on it because it got towed for sitting in the overflow lot without being moved for too long because Future Brother-In-Law rarely goes anywhere and when he does, he usually borrows FI’s car, or sometimes mine.
when i met Fiance, he lived in an efficiency apartment that had a sort of separated but not closed off bedroom. he had the bedroom and Future Brother-In-Law slept on the futon. this place was not meant for two adult men. perfect for a single person, or MAYBE a couple in a committed relationship with few belongings. it was just Fiance when he moved in to it. there’s some complicated family dynamics or something, where Future Father-In-Law had convinced Future Brother-In-Law to quit his job and move back home around the same time Fiance got the apartment, and after a few months he just couldn’t stand it any more and he moved onto FI’s futon here in the cities (which is the second time he’s lived on FI’s futon…the first occurring as soon as he graduated high school, and the two instances separated by a couple years of them renting a house together with FBIL’s girlfriend at the time). whatev. Future Father-In-Law isn’t really a very nice person, so i could maybe understand that, but WTF???? two years later and now he’s living in the spare room in our townhouse. still eating the food, still taking up space, now sitting on my couch watching anime through my computer hooked up to my flatscreen, giving my kid dirty looks because he’s invading his personal bubble while he eats cereal at 3 in the afternoon out of one of my bowls while sitting on aforementioned couch.
i feel bad criticizing his employment situation (or lack thereof) because i’m also unemployed, but to be fair i was laid off and with a kid i’m kind of limited as to what kind of jobs i can take because of daycare, plus with my odd education status and small amount of experience, i seem to be falling in the cracks here with 5 applicants for every available job. Future Brother-In-Law has had four interviews since september and hasn’t landed anything yet, for retail stuff!
i knew this was going to be the case when i decided to move in with Fiance. maybe i was just optimistic that he’d find a job and some friends and not be around so much, maybe contribute to the household a little more? right now his chores (he ASKED for assigned chores…i feel like i’m this kid’s mother or something) are unloading the dishwasher, taking out the garbage for garbage day, and washing the cookware when i cook (which is most of the time). should the garbage be full any other day of the week, forget it. the garbage was picked up this morning and our can is still out at the curb. (i guess because we only told him to take the can out, not to bring it back in.) if there’s dishes waiting to be loaded, sometimes he loads them and sometimes he doesn’t. and he’s got this growly, short-tempered attitude that’s extremely irritating.
he’s a nice kid. he really is. he has some really great qualities (when you get past the immense immaturity…don’t let him hear me calling him a kid, he won’t like it one bit!). i’m just so sick of living with him. all Future Brother-In-Law, all the time, and Fiance (shared with FBIL) in the evening. i want our space to be ours. i’m selfish…i want to spend time with Fiance and not have Future Brother-In-Law expect to be included in every activity, meal, and conversation.
maybe i feel like he’s making a permanent spot in MY personal bubble. i don’t know. Fiance knows how i feel about all this and agrees…he’s has had a few talks with Future Brother-In-Law which makes him change for a few days, maybe a week, before it’s the same old same old. he’s not willing to throw him out/make him move back to WI with the parents yet, but has told me he will if it comes down to it, because he’s getting fed up as well.
ok. end rant. i have to go to the store and do some cleaning. lol. i feel a little better now, just getting the bitchfest out.