Post # 1
My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 yrs 9 months & we’ve been living together for 2 yrs & 4 months. The moment I laid my eyes on him for the very first time, I knew I would marry him someday. It didn’t take me long to make that decision. Fast forward to now & we have made it though a lot of hardships and struggles & we are now on our feet & have been talking about marriage for a while now. He came into an inheritance left by his gpa in august & so you’d think it would be the perfect time for a proposal… but instead I’m driving myself crazy wondering why my finger is still naked. It doesn’t make it easier when all our friends are engaged or just got married & haven’t been through half of what we’ve been through. He’s been talking about buying a ring and promising I’ll get it soon, along with setting a “date” for April 17, 2015 but I refuse to make anything official until I have my diamond. I feel like he’s just procrastinating (like he does everything) & not taking this as serious as I am. He thinks the wedding is more important than an engagement. We do have a joined bank Acct so it is hard to surprise me, but honestly I’m to the point where I don’t care if I know which day he’s going to do it bc the longer I wait the more embarrassed & angry I get. I do love him & I our love is very strong & I do feel ridiculous for the way I think sometimes, but I have standards & I feel that he should know by now that he wants to marry me & I should have my ring. He knows exactly what I want & we have the cash for it. There shouldn’t be a hold up. Can anyone give me any advice on keeping positive during this time of what feels like purgatory? Without judgment please. Thanks!
Post # 2
Nancy5683: Embarrassed? NO! Who cares what others think! If they judge you because you are not engaged yet, then those people seriously don’t have a life.
How to keep possitive? Just be patient. Sounds like you have an awesome guy and you guys are very much in love. Don’t worry! It will come.
Post # 3
Nancy5683: just for some perspective, I’ve been with my FI 5 years. We got engaged last year. We will have been together 6 when we get married. Your BF may just simply not be where you are yet, even though he talks about it. But, the fact that he talks about it is great.
However, I’m a little bothered by the inheritance comment. Just because someone comes into money, doesn’t mean they’re ready to propose. There are SO MANY bigger factors than money when getting engaged/married.
Also, I’ve been where you are, watching everyone else get married and engaged. Unfortunately, those feelings, are also no reason to get engaged. Its about the 2 of you-not anyone else.
From the sound of it, your BF DOES know he wants to marry you, someday. Which is wonderful! Honestly? I’d just chill. 3 years is seriously a tiny blip in the grand scheme of things. And I do KNOW how you feel, because I’ve been there. But I will tell you this; my waiting? Paid off fully. I got an amazing surprise proposal, a gorgeous HUGE rock of a diamond, and now I’m planning my dream wedding. All because I backed off, and gave him his time. I trusted him. If you love your BF, my suggestion is, to stop pestering and obsessing, and trust him. Because from your post, you’ve told him EXACTLY how you feel-so he knows already.
Post # 4
Nancy5683: Waiting SUCKS. I waited for over three years (been together 4.5, lived together for 3.5). I never wanted a proposal – hell, I didn’t really want a ring. That was all my partner’s idea. It helped me a lot to view it as “taking one for the team”: I was doing something unpleasant (such an understatement) to make him happy. I’ll be blunt: the proposal wasn’t what was worth he wait – it was sweet, but totally unnecessary. Making my partner happy was what mattered.
Post # 5
Nancy5683: Can I ask what the rush is? To me that’s not a very long time together and it seems mostly based on the fact that your friends are all getting married, also the way you refered to getting your “diamond” makes me think it might be peer influenced. I know you feel like you’ve been through “everything” together, but realistically you haven’t been together very long. Did most of your friends get engaged by this point or something? Your guy doesn’t seem afraid of committment, maybe he just wants to enjoy this part of your relationship, or save up for a ring, or feel more ready? My FI proposed right around our 6 year anniversary, which to me was perfect, I wouldn’t have been ready at a little over 2 years- maybe your guy is like us, wanting to invest a lot of time before making a lifelong committment?
Post # 6
I agree, waiting can really suck. It’s a big challenge. It took me awhile to really accept that is about not just what I want…for some of us our partners have a set idea on ring and proposal. Enjoy giving them their moment.
How old are you, if I may ask?