Post # 1
This might be a really stupid question but my SO and I are arguing over what the correct answer is, LOL.
We are invited to a wedding tomorrow. We’re confused about what to do with the gift.
Wedding is in the morning, the reception is a pay-for-yourself dinner at a restaurant much later in the evening. We are attending the wedding ceremony, but not the dinner.
Do we take gift to the actual church and leave it there? Do we send it to their house?
This is the first time we have attended where we went to one but not the other or that the ceremony/reception were at different sites.
Post # 3
There likely will not be a place to put the gift at the church. You have two options.
1.) If you have a close/trusted friend who is attending the wedding and the reception, take your gift and ask them to take it to the reception for you.
2.) Mail/hand deliver a gift to their home. You technically have a year a to send a gift, but the general rule of thumb is immediately following the honeymoon. If they are taking a honeymoon, mail it so that it will arrive after they return (you run the risk of it being stolen off their porch if you have it delivered while they’re on vacation!)
Post # 4
Wow, never heard of something like that before. I bet many guests won’t buy a gift because they’re not going to get a “free” dinner. I’d call the bride or a relative of the bride to ask if it would be appropiate to bring the gift to the ceremony since you won’t be able to attend the dinner.
Hope that helps!
Post # 5
I think it’s arguable whether you were, in fact, “invited” to anything. But that is neither here nor there. Etiquette says the ideal is to mail the gift ahead of time, but you technically have a year. I would mail it since you don’t know how convenient it will be for them to transport gifts after the reception.
Post # 6
@marhino: That is an odd situation. If you plan on giving a gift, I would send it to their house. I understand limited budgets, but I have never heard of inviting someone to the ceremony and not the reception… nor have I ever heard of a pay for yourself reception..
Just so you know, with the half invitation, giving a gift is questionable. Idk what I would do in that situation… so very odd (at least near me, that is unheard of).
Post # 7
@marhino: Whether or not people have to pay for their meal, or whether you were invited to anything, or whether you have trusted friends going to the reception is all irrelevant.
Send or take the gift to the bride’s home.
That is always the most correct way to offer a wedding gift. Packages have no place at formal social events nor at official or religious ceremonies.
And if you take the gift around to the bride’s home, perhaps she will invite you in for a cup of tea.
Post # 8
For what it is worth, I was invited to both but can only attend the ceremony.
I don’t know the bride, only the groom but I’ll do as suggested and mail it to their new home once they’ve settled in together.
Post # 9
@marhino: Everyone is paying for their own dinner? That is an etiquette botch if I ever heard of one.