Post # 1
so…….just got married. it was awesome, but this is an unrelated question.
i have an old friend i’ll call H. i invited H to my shower and (large) wedding. she couldn’t come to either but did send a wedding gift. now H is getting married in september. i wasn’t invited to anything and in fact only know the wedding date from looking it up on weddingchannel (yes, i’m nosy). everytime i asked her in emails about other things how planning was going, did she have a date (normal wedding talk) she never mentioned or addressed anything wedding related.
do i send her something for her wedding? hubs thinks i should but i think its weird since, as i said, she didn’t come to anything for me and wouldn’t even talk about any wedding stuff. what do you think?
Post # 3
I wouldn’t unless she invited you to it. If she didn’t invite you, the only instance I would send a gift is if it was an extremely small wedding with family only and she told you ahead of time.
Post # 4
I don’t think you need to since you weren’t invited, but it would be nice if you did.
Post # 5
I don’t think you need to since you weren’t invited. I think it would also be a little awkward since the only reason you know her wedding date is through stalking and she obviously made a point not to talk to you about it.
Post # 6
I wouldn’t send her anything either, unless you really WANT to (sounds like you don’t). I actually think it might make her feel awkward, especially since she hasn’t even talked about any of the details with you.
Post # 7
I wouldn’t worry about. Maybe you could send her a nice card, but it’ll be awkward for you to send and for her to receive a gift when you weren’t invited.
Post # 8
i agree that it comes off as awkward if you send her a gift…she clearly already feels awkward that you didn’t make the cut on her guest list and i think she would just feel worse if you sent a gift.
Post # 9
I tend to agree with Hillzie and futurekmm. It would be kind of weird to send a gift since she so pointedly refused to talk to you about anything wedding. If she did mention it is a small wedding and that is why you aren’t invited, I would send a card or a small gift. In this case, it sounds like I wouldn’t
Post # 10
I wouldn’t send anything. If I were her I think I would find it strange/uncomfortable to receive a gift from a person who wasn’t invited to anything to do the wedding, and that wasn’t told anything about the wedding.
It’s really nice of you to want to send her a gift. But I think maybe she might think less of your friendship together than you do.
Post # 11
I wouldn’t send her anything. I think you made more then enough effort in asking her about it and she has obviously avoided the issue, so you don’t need to worry about in the least.
Post # 12
I agree, unless you’re invited, there’s no reason to send a gift, even if she sent you one. You’ve shown an interest and she basically blew you off, so I wouldn’t bother.
Post # 13
I think i would just send her a card. Simple and thoughtful.
Post # 14
I don’t think you need to send her a gift. If you really feel the need to acknowledge the wedding you could always send her a card.
Post # 15
If you do decide to send a gift, which I don’t think you need to, wait until after the wedding. I’ve always heard that you never should send a gift before the wedding unless you’re sure you’ll be invited. Otherwise, it sort of looks like you’re fishing for an invite and then the bride and groom feel like they should invite you. Awkward all around! In your situation, your friend really should have invited you though since you just got married and she was invited to your wedding.
Post # 16
If you aren’t invited I wouldn’t send a gift. A card would be a nice gesture, but only do it if you want to.