Post # 1
As you probably have guessed, my wedding is September 15. Some “declines with regret”s are coming in with giftcards/cheques.
Now, I know I’m supposed to mail out thank you cards for these gifts, but since I didn’t want to throw off their bank accounts, I deposited the cheques since the wedding was 2 months away at the time. I want to send off thank you cards, but we won’t have them until after the wedding since we want to print wedding photo(s) on them.
Should I use generic thank you cards for these gifts now? I don’t want them to think I took their money in July and didn’t say thanks til October.
Post # 3
@Sparkle_Bee: Yes, I would send a generic thank you card. If you want, you can send them another afterwards, but I don’t think that’s necessary. When cheques get sent in the mail, people like to know that you received them and the best way to do this is to send a thank you card right away.
Post # 4
I sent generic thank you cards for the checks we have gotten. I feel the same as you that I didn’t want to keep a check for 2 or 3 months before cashing it. I made a rule for myself that I wouldn’t cash the check until I put the thank you card in the mail. I had a couple packs of thank you cards left over from my shower and I just used those.
Post # 5
@Sparkle_Bee: What the most rigourously proper stickler for formal etiquette would say, is that you should send all your thank-you notes on your plain white (or ivory) stationery: not ‘generic’ stationery since it should be personalized by being engraved with your address and optionally with your monogram, but ‘generic’ in the sense that you would use it for all life’s occasions and not just wedding thank-you notes. Sending out photos of yourself is seen by formal propriety as boastful and self-centered, even if you do write a nice note inside the photo-card.
That being said, very few people are rigourous sticklers for formality, and those who are will nearly always cut you slack on the grounds that few modern brides no that plain notes are more proper, and pictures are rather nice anyway, and the bride’s sweetly-expressed (and prompt) gratitude matters far more than her propriety in picking the stationery that bears her thanks.
So send your thanks now on whatever stationery you have, and send your thanks for gifts received later on whatever stationery you prefer.
Post # 6
@BulldogBride: That is a very good rule! You could use it for non-cheque gifts too: not use that stand-mixer or whatever, until the thank-you is in the mail.
Post # 7
We sent out ALL thank you notes within 24 hours of reciept (including shower and wedding day gifts). I see your photos on facebook and there is no need to print me a copy. I’d much prefer you to promptly thank me and deposit the check.
You would not believe all of the positive feedback we got for our prompt thank you notes. The standard, every day stationary saved money and I grew up not being allowed to deposit checks or play with gifts until thak you notes were mailed.
Post # 8
That is so thoughtful of those guests who can’t make it to send you a gift now. I think with thank you notes, the sooner you reply, the better. I think 2 months is too long to wait.