(Closed) Gift for a 3rd marriage?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1330 posts
Bumble bee

This is really tough because it is her third wedding and you have given gifts previously. I like the idea of contributing to a weekend away…instead of more stuff to add to their collection of stuff.

I think because she is your MOH and other people are doing things, unfortunately…it may come across as cheap if you don’t do something.

Maybe a gift certificate to their favourite restaurant?

Do they have kids? Maybe do a family fun pass gift?

Maybe because it is her third wedding, they feel they shouldnt ask for gifts, but still, whether its the first, second…tenth…the love is real and the want for a special way to celebrate their love would be probably very welocmed by you.

You know her best-what would be thoughtful but not expensive? Something personal from you to the couple?

Post # 4
Member
3267 posts
Sugar bee

I would bring a card with well wishes and that is it.  It sounds like you can’t afford to gift her, so that is what it is.  Don’t kill yourself trying to get her a gift.  I am sure she will understand

Post # 5
Member
3267 posts
Sugar bee

Double post

Post # 6
Member
1677 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@fivemonthsnotice: I think because she is your MOH and other people are doing things, unfortunately…it may come across as cheap if you don’t do something.

My thoughts exactly. I understand why a gift isn’t required in this situation, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable not getting one at all. I wouldn’t pressure myself financially, but I would make sure I got something. 

Post # 7
Member
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I have to agree with @fivemonthsnotice:  – I wouldn’t go so far as saying that she’ll think you are “cheap” but based on how many others are doing something regardless of their request (and that you both are such good friends that she is your MOH) you might stand out as the person who didn’t. I think, however, you don’t need to do something that is expensive for it to be a lovely gesture. A beautiful picture frame, her favorite bottle of wine, a gift card for dinner out…those are all inexpensive options that show her that you were thinking of her. You could probably get away with nothing more than a card (when all is said and done, that is what they asked for!) but as she is such a good friend…I would suggest doing a little something more.

Post # 8
Member
99 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m not sure if you have this in the States but I often buy Oxfam charity gifts like ‘A goat for a village’, ‘Teach a teacher’ or  ‘Help train a farmer’ .  I’ve also dedicated trees for people with the Woodland Trust.  The gifts don’t ‘show’ a monetary value on the card (like a restaurant card would – though I like that as a gift idea – so if you’re short of cash it doesn’t ‘show’. 

Post # 9
Member
3267 posts
Sugar bee

If she wants to think you are cheap, I’d let her.  A good friend wouldn’t do that, and I’d rather know if someone wasn’t as good of a friend as I thought.

A gift is NEVER required.  Even less so for a 3rd marriage, when you’ve gifted for all the previous marriages.

If you are super worried, I would get a bottle of wine.  But I’d  think she has had her fill of wedding gifts from me.  I would go, and celebrate, and send her my well wishes. That is all ANYONE is entitled to.

Post # 10
Member
99 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

or simply a card that says ‘A donation has been made in your name to (insert her favourite charity)’ – and give what you can to the charity in question.

Post # 12
Member
1576 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

At least bring a card! I am also getting married for the 3rd time and we are also requesting no gifts. But I am hoping for cards!

Post # 13
Member
9147 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

At the very least bring a card.  When I got married I wasn’t disappointed by the people who didn’t bring gifts, I was disappointed by those that didn’t bring a card.  If they put your presence is our present on the card then they won’t be expecting gifts from everyone.  Don’t feel pressured into getting a gift in this situation.

Post # 16
Member
5481 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

You could also do a gift card to a favorite store/restaurant or even something like a couples’ massage and a nice bottle of wine. 

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