Gift for a shower I'm throwing?

posted 3 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: Am I supposed to give a gift?
    yes : (12 votes)
    35 %
    no : (22 votes)
    65 %
  • Post # 3
    895 posts
    Busy bee

    The shower is the gift! She shouldn’t expect a gift from you. I told my bridesmaids no gifts and they’re not even hosting a shower…

    Post # 4
    387 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    If you’re throwing the shower you are not required to give a gift if you cannot afford it.


    Post # 6
    10219 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Etiquette Snob here… lol

    When it comes to the “traditonal” North American obligations of Bridesmaids you will find a quote in regards to Gifts that says…

    * Contribution to a Gift for the Bride (often a pooled gift with other Bridesmaids)

    * Individual Gift to the Couple

    * Attendance (and possible gift) for any Showers, or Pre-Wedding Parties for  the Bride / Couple

    * Possibly Co-Host a Party or Shower (not mandatory… hopefully at least  attend)

    So, if you Co-Host a Party or Shower (# 4 above) then doing so can be your “gift in kind” to the Bride (# 1 above) especially so if you incurred expenses to hold such an event.

    I have other posts on WBee about the “traditional etiquette” (vs Modern) POV “the niceities” when it comes to Bridal Party roles, responsibilities & expenses.. elsewhere on WBee, you can use the WBee SEARCH BOX to find them if you so wish.

    Hope this helps,


    Post # 7
    1548 posts
    Bumble bee

    @This Time Round:  I love your etiquette knowkedge, whether we take it or not it is interesting to know the formalities

    Post # 8
    406 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @kb7:  My shower is this weekend and I’ve been very adamant to my bridesmaids and mother that no gifts are necessary.  I’m thrilled enough that they’re throwing me what I know will be a great party 🙂

    Has the bride let you know of her expectations?

    Post # 10
    9412 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    @kb7:  I think in this instance the shower is the gift. I held a shower for my sister and still got her a gift but she’s family. You have already gone above and beyond for your friend. I don’t think you need to buy her a tangible gift when you’ve already done (and spent) so much.

    Post # 11
    9137 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    @kb7:  Make sure to give her a heartfelt card letting her know that you are happy for her and her groom and that you hope she likes the shower (and that you especially enjoyed cooking x dish and decorating y for her to enjoy.)

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