Gift for Shower and Wedding?

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: if you are invited to a bride's bridal shower and wedding, do you give a gift for each event?
    yes - i buy a shower gift and a wedding gift : (28 votes)
    93 %
    no - i buy one gift and give it at one of the events : (2 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 2
    42166 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    If I attend a shower, or want to but am unable to attend, I bring/send a gift.

    I don’t attend every wedding I am invited to, but again, if I attend, or want to, I bring/send a gift.

    Sometimes I am invited to showers or weddings that I have no interest in attending, usually because I don’t know the couple very well. In that case, I send them a card and my best wishes.

    Post # 3
    1864 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    If a get a shower invite and I go, I buy a gift. 

    If I get a shower invite to someone I’m not that close to and I don’t go, I don’t send a gift. 

    If I get a shower invite to someone I am close to and cannot go for whatever reason, I mail a gift. 

    If I go to a wedding, I absolutely give a gift, even if I also bought one for the bridal shower. 

    I’m not sure how anyone can think it is acceptable to attend two separate events and not buy a gift for each event. A bridal shower and wedding is not the same thing. To attend both and only give one gift is rather distasteful and wrong, in my opinion. 

    Post # 4
    2416 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    Two gifts. 

    Post # 5
    3280 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Yes, I get a gift for each event. 

    Post # 7
    6697 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Traditional etiquette = gifts are always voluntary, but anything more than a wedding gift and a modest shower present is unnecessary.  Showers are about gifts, so they are among the few times when a gift is obligatory. Your friend is right in saying there is nothing wrong with one combined gift.  

    Extenuating circumstance aside, the wedding gift tradition is strong enough so that if you don ‘t feel close enough to be inspired  to give some kind of a wedding gift,  you may want to reevaluate attending. 

    Gifts should be sent ahead, not brought to the wedding. Guests technically have up to a year to send a gift, but it’s not generally recommended.  Thank yous are sent immediately or ASAP. 

    Recipients are never  entitled to a gift, nor should they make any reference to them on their end. 

    For either, gifts are not required if you do not attend, but optional and  nice if you are close.

    Liberal, current day Emily Post says gifts are obligatory for both shower and wedding. So almost the same thing. 


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