Post # 1
Would any of you be (or were you) offended if you received a nice card and a small gift from one of your bridesmaids rather than the standard gift for your social circle?
Context (for my situation): I’m standing up in a wedding in May. I’ve just totaled up all of my expenses associated with the wedding (including dress, bachelorette, shower, travel, etc.) and it’s coming in around $2500. With my own wedding coming up, I’m starting to feel the squeeze. I’m working with another bridesmaid to make a scrapbook of the bachelorette and shower weekends for the bride and I plan to get the couple a small gift (I already gave a shower gift). But I normally spend around $250 on wedding gifts so I feel bad.
Post # 3
I wouldn’t be offended at all. That’s quite a lot of money!
Post # 4
Damn. I would never ask you to spend all that to begin with so… yeah, a card would be sweet.
Post # 5
You know, my Maid/Matron of Honor ended up in this kind of pinch, even with spending maybe tops $500-$600 on all my events. She came to me and reasoned with me and promised she’d make it up to me. My opinion is that I imagine she won’t be offended, particularly if it comes with a reason!
In terms of your little gift, if you make it truly special, something special of your friendship, I think it will mean more than a $250 gift anyway!
Post # 6
No, I wouldn’t be offended. In fact as I was reading this, I was thinking, that being a bridesmaid is a gift in and of itself.
Post # 7
A gift is NEVER required in any social situation. Consider your gift to the bride and groom the time, travel, and effort you put into their wedding. I’m going to a wedding in July and its costing me and Fiance so much to get there that I am just going to have to give a nice card (I’m a bridesmaid).
If the bride and groom are offended by your card, they aren’t very good friends.
Post # 8
Good heavens. $2500 would price me out of being a bridesmaid! Get a small, meaningful gift and write a long, meaningful message in the card. I’m sure she’ll understand, especially with everything else you’ve done for her.
Post # 9
@almostmrsj: To be fair, neither of us knew it would be this expensive (and I think she would be embarrassed if she knew how much I spent). The bachelorette really drove the total up because the other bridesmaids didn’t assist financially as they promised and some of the attendees stiffed me in varying degrees.