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I would guess something more personal may go over better. They may feel guilty taking money when you two are just starting out. Maybe a framed engagement picture. Or a collage of them for them to hang in their house, make sure it matches their current stuff. How could they say no to that?!
Make it relatively small, but very meaningful. My parents do this to us all the time, my father actually sneaks money into my purse if we pick up the check! When it comes time for wedding gifts, however, they will doubtless be touched by your gesture. I'm sure their hearts are in the right place, even if it feels frustrating to you.
i totally agree with mrs. starfish and teamzeewagon. i plan to make photo books on shutterfly for the parents. how could they not love that? from what i've heard they are not expensive either.
We took my parents out to a nice dinner last night as a thank you for hosting our shower. I was worried the entire time that my dad wouldn't let us pay and that I'd feel bad for choosing such an expensive place. In the end, they let us pay but thanked us several times. I guess they are FINALLY realizing that we are adults and have "real" jobs and can afford to splurge on them from time to time :)
I think for the wedding I am going to make "wedding" albums for each set of parents with lots of family pictures, so I guess they won't be getting them at the rehersal dinner.
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I am a little nervous about giving gifts to the parents. Not my parents so much, but the future in-laws. Here's why: a couple months ago my fiance and I tried to give them a gift card for a local restaurant as an anniversary gift (their 35th anniversary - a pretty big deal!) and they would not accept it!! My fiance was a little hurt and I was furious (though I didn't let it show). They insisted we keep the gift card and use it ourselves. Now I'm wondering if they will make a big deal about us giving them a gift at the rehearsal dinner? Will they embarrass us by turning down our gift in front of our wedding party? Should we give it to them when we are alone with them? If they won't accept a gift card I can't imagine they would accept something bigger, even if it is more personal. What do you think?