(Closed) Gift Giving Ettiquet… I know this is a hot topic but curious bout one thing!

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Would you Send a gift if you were not able to attend the wedding???
    I Would only if I were very close to the bride and groom. : (69 votes)
    46 %
    I usually do not send a gift if we cannot attend the wedding : (18 votes)
    12 %
    We give a gift regarless : (59 votes)
    39 %
    OOooooooo shiney things........ POLL! : (5 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    9234 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    Where’s the poll option that says yes regardless of whether you’re close or very close?  I think it’s good manners to at least send a small gift (~$25) from their registry along with a card.

    Post # 4
    Member
    5969 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2018

    I would still send a gift, even if I could not attend…they were planning on feeding me, entertaining me and giving me cake…thats worth a couple of place settings in my book!

    Post # 5
    Member
    1111 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    It is customary where I am from to send a gift even if you cannot attend the wedding.  I have always done that and always will.  There have only been a couple weddings I’ve been unable to attend, and I did spend a little less than I would have had my FI and I been able to go – but we still sent a gift and a card.  I wouldn’t feel right not doing that.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1114 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Depending on how close I was to the couple, I might send a small gift but would definitely also send a card with a heartfelt message inside.  If I wasn’t close to the couple (e.g. it was an ‘obligatory’ invite from a family member) I would probably just send the card and nothing else.

    Post # 8
    Hostess
    16217 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    We try to always send a gift if we can’t attend. How much we spend depends on our relationship with the couple.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2589 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    We usually send (and recieved for ours) smaller gifts in the 25-50 dollar range.

    Post # 11
    Member
    13101 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I always send a gift, even if I cannot attend the wedding.  I had to do this for a wedding this past weekend, actually.

    Post # 12
    Member
    3886 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    If I can’t figure out how I ended up on the guest list, I won’t send a gift.

    Last year I was invited to my cousin’s wedding. I’ve not seen my cousin since somewhere around 1997 and not emailed, called, texted, sent postcards, or communicated telepathically with him.  I genuinely do not know why his mother invited me (and I’m fairly sure the invite came from my aunt and not from my cousin himself).  I still can’t tell you his bride’s name, don’t know what he does for a living, don’t know what city he lives in (just know it’s somewhere near Cleveland), for all intents and purposes we are strangers. And his mom and my mom hadn’t kept in touch either!  So I was really scratching my head on that one. I declined the RSVP and did not send a gift, although I did send a card (just a card, though, no check inside).

    For a co-worker that I consider an acquaintance but not a “friend” I sent a small gift from their registry, probably around $25.

    Post # 13
    Member
    10454 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I would send one only if we were pretty darn close. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    6207 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

    I would send a gift if I knew them and that the invitation was genuine. I wouldn’t send one if I thought I was just being invited to get more gifts.

    I might have had a different opinion on this a few months ago, but pretty recently I was invited to a wedding and attended the ceremony with FI, and then found out there was reception after that we weren’t invited to, but about 90% of the guests were. I understand that that is necessary for some people, but after we bought gifts for the wedding/shower, and I helped the bride with desserts for after the ceremony, AND the reception was in a tent on her church grounds, with food her dad made (would it really have cost much more to invite us to that too?) I felt like I was invited only to get more gifts, because they have classified us as rich in the past, and felt taken advantage of. This will probably affect my future gift giving practices- sad, but true.

    Post # 15
    Member
    786 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I couldn’t make it to the wedding of a good college friend last weekend and I definitely sent her a gift.  Since she is a good friend I sent her what I would have given if I was at the wedding($200).  If it’s someone I’m not close to I would probably give half of that amount ($100)

    Post # 16
    Member
    1686 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    My guideline is, if I would like to attend this wedding but can’t, I send a gift. If it’s a wedding I didn’t really want to go to anyway, I send a card with a nice note. (If I attend, I always have a gift.)

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