Gift Grabby Showers

posted 4 years ago in Pregnancy
  • poll: Is it rude to throw your own shower?
    Yes - find someone else to do it : (175 votes)
    64 %
    No - makes sense to me : (87 votes)
    32 %
    I really like polls : (8 votes)
    3 %
    Other - share below : (5 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4760 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I’m probably the only one who will say no.  I don’t think it makes a difference who throws them.  Not everyone has a BP or close fam members, that dosn’t mean they don’t deserve a shower.

    Post # 5
    Member
    396 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    @Atalanta:  Actually I’ll second that. People don’t have to come, and they can give joint gifts with other people.  

    Post # 6
    Member
    42522 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    It is appropriate to host a party.

    It  is never appropriate to request gifts for yourself.

    The whole point of a shower is to give gifts to the honoree.

    Therefore you cannot host your own shower.

    Post # 7
    Member
    396 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    Honestly, before the bee I didn’t even know if was rude to throw your own showers. 

    Is it then rude to host a birthday party for yourself? What’s so rude about wanting to celebrate a happy occassion with the people you care about? Again, they don’t have to give a gift, personally I would have a lot of fun eating a socializing with friends. Of course gifts are lovely and appreciated but not necessary, like every other occasion. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    1652 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I don’t think it matters who hosts 🙂 Guests can bring gifts if they like, that’s up to them.

    Post # 9
    Member
    6644 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    It is rude and rather tacky.  It screams to me very gift grabby and I would probably decline if a mother to be hosted her own baby shower. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    1116 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    @julies1949:  + 1

     

    As for thos who say that not everyone has family that can host one, well hopefully you at least have some close friends who would do it. Otherwise who would you invite? Some people that you kind of know? That just seems wrong, to tell a bunch of casual friends to come to a party and give you gifts. A friend of FI’s recently had a baby (well his wife did), she doeesn’t really have a family and several of FI’s friends offered to throw her a shower. Heck I don’t really like her all that much and I offered to throw her a shower because I like planning parties and I knew it would make FI happy!

    Post # 11
    Member
    3693 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Don’t host your own shower. Do you have a mom, mother-in-law, sister, aunt, good female friend — anybody who could help host? Some people get weird about even grandmas-to-be hosting showers.

    Post # 12
    Member
    11668 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I’d definitely think it was odd to host your own wedding shower.  I’m a little more lenient on the baby shower front though.  Since, technically, all the gifts you receive are for use for the baby – they’re just not there to receive the gifts yet!  I would feel so sad for a new first time mom that didn’t have anyone to throw her a shower.  I would definitely go if someone threw a baby shower for themself – probably not a wedding shower though.

    Post # 13
    Member
    396 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    Oh for goodness’ sake. The technicality of what appears rude and isn’t just makes me shake my head.

    Call it a baby tea, have your party and enjoy it. People will still give gifts if they want to give you something. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    1996 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I think it’s fine to throw like a little celebration party with no gifts but a full shower with gift registry etc is very rude to host yourself. And you’re not suppose to ask anyone to throw you a shower,  they volunteer.  

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