Post # 1
I’m looking for support/advice regarding gift registries (we have two) and the fact that we aren’t having a wedding website (don’t feel like putting all that personal stuff online somewhere) but aren’t including registry information on our STD’s or in our invites.
I feel like I can already hear eye rolling from people we’re inviting when I tell them that I didn’t include registry info in our invites because we didn’t feel it was appropriate. *sigh*
Post # 3
Usually whenever you have a registry on a major site, it comes up in search. The knot and wedding wire also have some sort of bot that combines them if they can find them.
Bottom line: register at major stores and your friends will find you 🙂 If they ask, say just google “your name registry.”
Post # 4
@HeyHey4514: It depends on where you are. In all honesty, as soon as I get a STD (or hear someone is engaged), I google their name and the word “wedding”. Their registry pops up. I never wait until I get the invite to decide what I am going to get and don’t go to the website.
Depending on your culture, the info will be in your shower invites and/or most people will give you cash. No one will think twice of it not being there, but many people, including my mom (who is fine with typed labels on invites and every other no no with invites) get really turned off by the registry info on the invites.
Post # 5
@HeyHey4514: Depends on your area and your guests. If I don’t include a registry card in my invitation suite my aunts will hunt me down and kill me for the “inconvience”. But as others have said– register someplace major and they will find you. I know when shower invitations have been late I’ve gone onto Target or whatever to try and track down the registry info ahead of time. For a wedding I’d probably check Target, BB&B, Crate & Barrel, Macy’s, Amazon and maybe Nordstrom. But really, that is a hassle and if my family considers it perfectly normal to have registry cards I’m not going to make them track shit down just because the Bee says it’s “tacky”.
Post # 6
@HeyHey4514: Every wedding I have ever been to here that has had a registry put a card in with the invites (the card comes from the store itself). I’ve never been offended by this or thought it was tacky. If there was no registry card I would have assumed that they had not registered. I guess we just do things differently here though. Very rare for someone to have a wedding website and such to publicise these things on.
Post # 7
- Wedding: October 2014 - Church
@HeyHey4514: I don’t feel it is appropriate either and including those cards is actually considered poor form where I live. They will find out and will ask someone if they really want to know. I personally usually just go to the usual suspects (in my case the Bay and Bed Bath & Beyond) to look up the couple. It’s usually there. 🙂
Post # 8
@HeyHey4514: I suspect those types just want you to feel foolish or stuffy so they can feel better about their own rudeness and tackiness.
As if it’s this huge inconvenience to just ask someone if they’re registered. Or, you know, go on line and google their names which is exactly how I found the registries for the last two weddings I attended and how many people found mine.
If anyone says anything to you, just reply that you didn’t want to be rude. Or maybe that your wedding isn’t about pumping people for gifts.
Post # 9
I think everyone can agree that planning a wedding walks a fine line between Expected vs. Appropriate vs. Inconvenient depending on where we live, who you’re inviting, etc.
I’m finding all along this planning process that it’s impossible to please everyone with every aspect. But dang it, we’re not looking to be gift-grabby and are trying to plan a very formal day with as much tradition we want.
I guess it won’t be like the last wedding we went to – the invite included a fortune cookie sized slip of paper with “Bride and groom are registered at ____ and ___”
What’s sad is I can also hear the eye rolling of our soon-to-be guests when they see the polite sign I’m making for outside the sanctuary asking to help us have an “unplugged” ceremony.
Wedding planning makes me realize I should have been born in the 1940s (practically the theme of our wedding and decor) with all the “old school” tradition we’ve embraced.
Post # 10
We finally capitulated and made a very basic wedding website – mostly for information for the international guests travelling to our wedding. It’s private so you have to have a code to see it. We are currently working on it and will launch it in January when our Save the Dates go out.
I too refuse to put the registry information on any kind of invitation. I don’t care if other people do it but to me, it’s unthinkable.
Also, hey, we’re having an unplugged ceremony as well – per church rules!
People can find your registry if they just google you – I got a registry present in the mail for Christmas from someone, and I hadn’t even told anyone I had registered yet – we’re at big chain stores (Williams Sonoma, Pottery Barn, Bed Bath and Beyond)
Post # 11
Before wedding websites, general etiquette was word of mouth between the guests and the parents of the bride and groom.