Post # 1
I have spent the afternoon writing thank you cards, and I hit a bump.
After the wedding, we had a few gifts that did not name a giver. Only about half of our guests gave a gift and/or card, so I did not ask anyone if it was from them since there was such a large chance that they didn’t get us anything and I didn’t want to put anyone in an awkward position.
I know that sending thank you cards to guests who did not give a card or gift is in bad taste, but I don’t want the guests who did give those gifts to feel slighted. My husband thinks that we should send everyone a thank you card, with something generic (Thank you for being a part of our special day. It means so much that you were there to help us start our new life together! Best Wishes, Mr & Mrs.) written for everyone else.
What do you ladies think?
Post # 3
We sent thank yous to every guest, regardless is they sent a gift or not. I agree with your husband, send a generic thank you for coming!
Post # 4
@mintblush: +1! We made personal thank you’s to those that gave gifts and generic thank you’s to those that didn’t. In the end, everybody got a card.
Post # 5
Was it purchased off a registry? Most registries (with the exception of BB&B) have a “thank you list” that show you who bought what… you may want to start there.
Post # 6
@classyashley: +1. I would pursue the registry option. Also, alert key individuals (your parents, siblings, best friends, bridal party) that you received X number of gifts that did not have a card with them and that you don’t know whom to thank. That way, if one of those individuals happens to say, “Oh, I hope Somerrae and Mr. Somerrae like the _________ that we gave them — we didn’t hear from them, and now I’m worried,” those closest to you will know to explain what happened and will be able to help you solve the mystery.
I agree with you. Sending a generic thank-you note will not do anything at all to help solve this particular issue. If someone gave you two place settings of china, I think they would find it odd that you bothered to send them a note but made no mention whatsoever of their gift.
Post # 7
Do not send a generic thanks for coming. Besides being a little excessive (you’ve already thanked people twice for coming, so a 3rd time is just too much. “No really this time for sure, I know I’ve said it before, but seriously ….”) If I was the person who’s card got seperated and I got a thanks for coming, I would call you to make sure you had received my gift, because otherwise I would have expected that to have been mentioned. Then you’d probably have to send another thank you for the gift, since you now know it was me that sent it. You wouldn’t want to not thank me. It’s a lot more work for you.
I would spread the word through family and friends that a few gifts got separated from their cards, but that the gifts are awesome, and you want to know who has such great taste.
Then you can properly thank the giver.
Post # 8
All cards received either had a monetary gift inside, or were accompanied by a gift. The unaccounted for gifts were not purchased from the registry, and not to sound ungrateful, but seemed like last minute gifts (were unpersonal, poorly wrapped and one still had a price tag on it from Ross). Had there been unaccompanied cards, I would know where to start.