Gift with no RSVP & Thank you note ?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
12453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Thank you notes should be sent promptly when the gift was received.  For guests who sent a gift at the time of RSVPs, I sent a thank you note right away, and mentioned thar we were sorry to miss them at the wedding but would like to set a time to catch up after all the festivities were over.

Post # 4
964 posts
Busy bee

I would do it right away. ESPECIALLY if it was mailed. People will wonder if you got it or not. 

Post # 5
959 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Agreed. Write it today and send it out. 

Post # 6
1671 posts
Bumble bee

@alditt14:  Now — even if they reply “yes”. All gifts should be acknowledged with thanks immediately — the “gold standard” of polite gratitude is to write the note before you go to bed on the day the gift was received.

Post # 8
251 posts
Helper bee

ditto above, as soon as pos. plus it means fewer after the wedding!

i’m sure your wedding thank you cards will be lovely but don’t feel bad about not being able to use something like that before the wedding. people won’t be comparing or taking notes, they’ll just appreciate the timely acknowledgement.

Post # 9
1595 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Just get some pretty cards and send out your thank you notes now! I really hate waiting for a long time for thank you notes. In my house we always had a rule that you can’t use the gift until you’ve sent the note. Most people really don’t care how pretty your thank you notes, as PPs noted, it’s more about getting them out on time.

Post # 10
7006 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@alditt14:  just pick up a pack of cards from the grocery store. I would much rather receive a timely thank you than receive a postcard with a picture of your wedding.

Post # 11
2612 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

I agree, best to send one out right away. I picked up a bunch of really pretty boxed Thank You cards at TJMaxx/Marshalls. They’ve been great to have around as gifts start to come in for showers/etc.

Post # 12
1911 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Yeah, as PP mentioned, you can buy a small pack of thank you cards at any grocery store/ pharmacy.  I’ve been sending thank yous since we got engaged, so at this point I have 3 varieties of thank you cards that people may have received.  I also opted out of sending the wedding photo thank you card because when I receive them I just throw them away after reading and feel bad about it anyway.  So I ordered a custom thank you with our names on it and have been using them before and will after the wedding too! I believe not many people will care about my actual wedding photos unless they’re in them!

Post # 13
2843 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@alditt14:  I ended up sending mine afterwards because– no one sent a gift SUPER early, it was within two weeks of the wedding.  I was having “bigger” health issues, had a virus, and was in the end stages of planning our wedding obviously- all with being a mom.  So it was really difficult for me get thank you’s written right at that time.  

Post # 14
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@alditt14:  “Well that sucks…”

Huh?!?! Totally ungrateful. Get over yourself and thank the nice people that sent you a gift along with their declination. Jeez.

Post # 15
44988 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@alditt14:  Every thank you note you send now, is one less to write after the wedding. That doesn’t suck.

Post # 16
3030 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

@julies1949:  +1 (Always listen to Julies1949!)

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